Feel like I’ve become desensitized,
Blood on my hands,
But got sand in the eyes.
Don’t need a cancel culture,
Because my moral conscience,
Won’t let me hide.
And the trauma got me making excuses,
But how else does one overcome genocide?
And I can’t lie,
I feel empty inside,
Thinking of over 1000 ways to die.
Imprisoned within my mind.
It’s like I’m zombie-fied.
With everyday being a melancholy overdrive.
And my capacity is on low power mode,
In order to just survive.
But although I’m surviving,
I’m not truly living.
So, desensitized,
And Running out of feelings.
Have no moments to rest,
Because I can’t stop overthinking.
With persistent thoughts to numb it all,
By taking drugs, gambling, and drinking.
Really every addiction at this point looks appealing,
Yet I know what I got to do to start healing,
But its hard to explain,
Because I feel like a card dealer but I ain’t dealing.
With these issues because I’d rather start running,
Thinking I can out-run all these problems,
That keep on piling.
And when people say how awesome I am,
It’s unnerving,
Because complements,
Are something to, which I am undeserving.
At least that’s what I tell myself every morning.
Before I take my happy pill,
To give off the effect that everything in my life,
Is so ******* charming.
Even though in reality I am drowning.
I’ve become desensitized,
With everything around me distorting.
Desensitized to the violence,
Just another dead brother and sister,
Yet everyone’s ******* silent,
Doesn’t matter whether your defiant or compliant,
Not sure what’s worse the assailant?
Or the sirens?
When both be killing us!
If only people could take this **** serious!
Instead of calling us delirious.
Guess I’m not the only one that desensitized!
If you don’t believe racism exists,
That just means that you’re climatized!
Unable to recognize, that you’re indoctrinized.
Where hate, becomes normalized.
How can we expect change?
When we’re desensitized!

My heart has become a revolving door,
Don’t know who I am anymore.
Feel like I’m empty to the core,
Never satisfied, always wanting more.
How can it be?
That the richest person,
Can still be poor?

My minds a minefield,
But I’m not prepared for war.
Nooooo, woah oo yeah.
Was not prepared for war!

Yeah, I’m trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

I’m just trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, Yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

Trapped in my mind,
With these mines all around me.
Let out a cry for help,
Hoping someone comes and finds me.
I’m so broken and so lost.
Yeah I’m lonely.
Not designed to be confined,
With these thoughts of suicide,
Yeah they haunt me.
And I know it’s unhealthy,
To keep all these emotions locked inside,
Because I know it’ll **** me.
But it’s hard to open up,
To those who don’t even know the real me.
Especially when I don’t even know,
Who the hell is the real me.
Don’t even know the real me.

Trapped in a prison,
Of my own making.
Caged to the world,
Curled up into a ball,
Overthinking my flaws,
It can be so, **** grating!
My hearts become a jigsaw,
How much more can it keep breaking?
And when I close my eyes,
Apart of me hopes,
that I wont be reawakening.
Wondering when I lost the ability,
Of chasing dreams?
Wondering when was the last time I smiled,
And it actually meant something?

My minds a minefield,
But I’m not prepared for war.
Nooooo, woah oo yeah.
Was not prepared for war!

Yeah, I’m trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

I’m just trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, Yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

Our systems a hive mind,
Suzy sells sea shells,
But that don’t mean ****,
To a drive by.
We all mean well,
With our well of knowledge,
Trying to find the perfect porridge,
Like goldilocks,
When she broke into the bears cottage.
So, when the bears came back,
They saw that their homes were salvaged,
And if goldy ever came back,
You bet the bears would serve up,
Maximum damage!
But if they did that they’d be deemed as the savage,
Monsters to be killed.
Life’s an expensive bill.
Wonder whose going to pay for the meal?
Can’t see privilege up on that hill.
But pride will be your downfall,
Like the tale of jake and Jill.
A tale as fragile,
As Humpty Dumpty,
Trying to balance on a windowsill.
For real.
If this is reality, pass me the blue pill.

Could have all the gold chains,
But ya still locked,
Caged to a rigged game.
A pain that is like a police’s gun,
Loaded and locked.
Could have all the gold,
Yet still get shot.
Because at the end of the day,
We’ll never be goldilocks.

From being whipped and chained,
To driving whips and wearing gold chains,
Don’t kid yourself bro,
It is all the same,
All you’re doing is replacing pain,
With fleeting money and fame,
But no amount of money,
Can’t remove the blood stains,
Of our ancestors brains,
Blood that is soaked in every drive way,
That’s why I believe there is no such thing,
As a free way!
Land built off of slaves,
Land taken away,
From those who were seen as naives,
Children murdered and buried,
In unmarked graves,
Can’t remove the stains,
Can’t escape the pain,
We are all insane!
Trapped in a circular maze,
Brainwashed to obey,
Because at the end of the day,
We are taught,
What goldilocks did was okay!

Could have all the gold chains,
But ya still locked,
Caged to a rigged game.
A pain that is like a police’s gun,
Loaded and locked.
Could have all the gold,
Yet still get shot.
Because at the end of the day,
We’ll never be goldilocks.

While some be walking on sunshine,
I’ll be walking the fine line,
Between the sublime and a unhinged mind.
Quote the raven never more,
Through space and time.
Wonder if I ever find…
The meaning to the core.
That breeds life,
And seeks death.
And if it matters if I’m a Jedi,
Or become a Sith?
To face judgement in the afterlife,
Even though reality is already a punishment.
It makes no sense!
Should I conform,
Or should I resist?
After all I never chose to exist.
To roll around in this ****,
Like I’m some piglet.
Guess I’ll need some anti-septic.
But perhaps I’m just a cynic,
Who see’s the pathetic as poetic.
And calls it out, regardless of pro-etiquette.
As it’s like trying to live in a room, comfortably with an elephant.
Hold up wait!
I’m in my element.
Our systems a detriment.
To those it deems as a pestilent
So, they develop a regiment.
Oh, Here we go,
Again with that rhetoric.
But **** it,
The world is ****,
And I’m here to better it.
If you want songs that are melancholic,
Or has themes about money, fame, or *******.
Go to your local bargain bin,
And you’ll find a drake CD in it!
Haha.

When it comes to life,
You got two choices.
Laugh or cry!
This is the thesis,
Of a divide,
Between our inner Jekyll & Hyde.

Fighting the voices,
That got me wanting to commit suicide.
Thirsty for death.
Where the formaldehyde?
Shadows always lurking,
Hard to hide,
Even harder to fight!
When you got to pretend,
Like everything’s alright!
After all, fake smiles delight.
Where the drugs at?
Want to get higher than a kite.
In order to numb my plight.
Smash the mirrors that surround me,
Because I can’t stand the sight.
Can’t let people see the demon inside.
That feeds off positivity,
But sadly never satisfies its appetite.
That turns allies to absentees.
With the toxic cycle becoming dynamite.
That leaves fragments to those near the surrounding.
Because, Intergenerational trauma doesn’t discriminate, compadre.
But hopefully we will be able to heal one day!
Till than though…

When it comes to life,
You got two choices,
Laugh or cry!
This is the thesis,
Of a divide,
Between our inner Jekyll and Hyde.

The price of money,
Is like a game of risk,
To conquer the world,
Yet feel empty as ****.

The price of fame,
Is a double edged sword,
Gotta wonder if it’s worth,
Sacrificing for.

More money more problems,
That’s the name of the game,
Might act like it’s no biggie,
Till lead is pumped into your veins.
How much a dollar cost?
Is it worth the pain?
What will be lost?
In your pursuit of fame?
Perhaps these suits and rings,
Are nothing more than fancy,
Prison uniforms and chains.
Could have all the money,
Yet still complain.
Because you’re still empty.
Grass ain’t always greener.
Trust me.
When a new world dreamer,
Can become a new world nightmare,
That replaces poverty with a fever.
No matter how much ******,
You chase with those expensive sneakers,
It’ll never satisfy the meter,
Or change the mind of the cops,
Who will always see you as a misdemeanour.
Because of your skin colour.
Can have your hands up,
But it won’t matter.
And the fact of the matter,
Is money can’t pay off the grim reaper.

The price of money,
Is like a game of risk,
To conquer the world,
Yet feel empty as ****.

The price of fame,
Is a double edged sword,
Gotta wonder if it’s worth,
Sacrificing for.

Money has a cost,
Can you afford it?
Gun is cocked,
With one bullet,
Spin the chamber till it stops,
Put it to the head and pull it.
Wonder if you’re still alive?
A poor man survives,
While a rich man begs to die.
Could have all the knowledge,
Yet still be unwise.
And the fact of the matter is,
We are all poor when we die.
Because money can’t revive,
Or have one’s sins purified.
At least justice can be accomplished,
By the person in the sky.
So, I ask again.
Money has a cost,
Can you afford it?
After all…

The price of money,
Is like a game of risk,
To conquer the world,
Yet feel empty as ****.

The price of fame,
Is a double edged sword,
Gotta wonder if it’s worth,
Sacrificing for.

Pain internalized,
Trauma within the eyes,
With regret lying behind,
A disguised smile unrecognized.
Even by the specialized.
Wonder if you can sympathize?
With a society trying to stabilize,
What they see as animalized.
Creating a society that is demoralized.
That steals children with intentions,
To indoctrinize.  
Experimenting regardless of the savage cries.
Because soon they will be whitenized.
And will be normalized.
Numb to the pain and cast aside.
Having their culture sold and commercialized.
And if they protest they are taken out,
Like they were pests and the RCMP was the pesticide.

Why can’t they hear the cries?
Why won’t they listen to the cries?
How many more have to die?
How many more have to die?
Before we are finally recognized!
As humans nation wide!
Maybe they are just too deaf, dumb, and blind.

Identity compromised,
Fear got us paralyzed,
With our livelihoods stigmatized,
Fought in world wars,
But had our status demised.
Thought we were allies?
Jailed yet enfranchised.
There is no land of the free.
When even our blood quantum,
Is categorized.
I guess it’s not just the revolution,
That is un-televised.
Yet we always hear,
How many times do we have to apologize?
Just get over it.
Get a job and live healthy lives.
Unable to sympathize,
With those tyrannized.
And traumatized.
Unable to hear the cries.
Of those who have and still are,
Losing their lives.
Which got me asking?

Why can’t you hear the cries?
Why won’t you listen to the cries?
How many more have to die?
How many more have to die?
Before we are finally recognized!
As humans nation wide!
Maybe you’re just too deaf, dumb and blind!

In order for better days,
One gotta know how to deal with rain.
Gotta find the beauty within the pain.
Life’s a puzzle,
Gotta work together, to come up with better ways.
In order to continue having better days.

Thinking bout better days,
While sipping lemonade,
As the sunset serenades,
Feeling fabulous like a free bird,
Call me Michael Hayes.
If haters is yapping,
They bout catch a fade.
Life’s full of ups and downs,
So, ya gotta know how,
To surf them waves.
For the devil be lurking,
Ready to ruin your day.
So, I pray to the father.
For protection everyday.
Because I know if I don’t,
It will marinate.
Within my mind.
And keep me blind.
Trapped within the confines.
Of the lies stated by those that chastised.
And undermined my identity.
Lies that became truths.
That poisoned my security.
That for years I believed had no remedy.
Leashed to the black dog,
That was slowly killing me.
Because I lost sight of the real me.
They say we are who we choose to be,
But I don’t fully agree.
Especially when many with power and privilege,
Never have to face the same disparities.
As those within the minority.
But I also believe,
We have a responsibility.
To ourselves and our communities.
To stop the cycles of toxicity.

In order for better days,
One gotta know how to deal with rain.
Gotta find the beauty within the pain.
Life’s a puzzle,
Gotta work together, to come up with better ways.
In order to continue having better days.