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Addict Behaviour Feb 2019
Words can't express,
The feelings I find,
I'm so scared to face,
But unwilling to hide,

I have wanted this moment,
For all of my life,
And now that it's here,
I will continue to fight,

There is a new strength inside,
Which continues to grow,
It can't be contained,
And to be shown,

Many people will follow,
This pain they have known,
I'm here to tell you that,
You are not alone.
Rambling on.

Addict Behaviour Feb 2019
I feel so much passion,
Stirring inside,
I open my heart,
And close off my mind,

I follow the feeling,
That shows me the way,
Through the dark night,
To see the new day,

I needed to find You,
I searched far and wide,
I'm grateful to have You,
As a part of my life,

You make me so happy,
You make me so sad,
You make me so angry,
You make me so mad,

I wish I never found you at times,
I wish I never had,
Because I have fallen in love,
I have fallen so bad.
Rambling on.

Addict Behaviour Feb 2019
When I was a young man, fighting the system,
All alone, insecure in my skin,
Hiding the pain & the madness within,
I followed the crowd & tried to fit in,
But the battle inside was taking it's toll,
& I Truly believed I would never grow old,
Became clear as I started to stumble,
My body broke down, caved in & crumbled.

As a young man I was hyperactive,
On the move, always distracted,
I couldn't be myself, I was so unattractive,
Wearing a mask, I was always acting,
Putting on a brave face,
I couldn’t keep up, so I travelled at my own pace,
I needed my own space,
I never had a mirror on the wall in my own place.

Don’t you run, face your fears,
Just dry your tears, I say,
Don’t you run, face your fears,
Just dry your tears.

Full of excuses & ill demands,
Asking myself where the **** do I stand,
I was so full of hatred, ready to attack,
I didn’t know what was real,
Didn't know how to act,
But my back is against the wall,
& I need help facing reality,
Because the lines are blurred,
& I need help finding clarity.

I don't wanna walk this walk no more,
But I keep getting pushed by an unknown force,
I was an unborn spawn,
All tucked up, still safe in the warm,
I was given no choice in the matter,
My umbilical cord was torn,
& they took me out of the arms of my mother,
When I needed her care & I needed support.
Rambling on.

Addict Behaviour May 2018
What's the plan, What is the purpose,
Why do we stay here, When they just continue to hurt us,

What's the goal And can we really achieve it,
Have faith in yourself and then others will believe,

Have hope in the future and learn from the past,
We have all made Mistakes But the pain will never last,

It is ok to be fearful, We have all been afraid,
Don't be disheartened, don't be dismayed,

Our Strength is a blessing that we all hold inside,
If you search deep within Then the strength you will find,

The Courage will come, be patient, give it time,
Along with the desire to no longer hide,

Your spirit has awoken and will soon start to rise,
The fire Burns bright with hope in your eyes,

Open your heart, Open your mind,
Only speak words that are Both wise and kind,

Have a Listen, Hear what they say,
Give them a smile, get on with your day.

Today is a gift,
That's why we call it the present,

So that is the plan, follow it through,
Just for today, Be grateful to be you.
Addict Behaviour Apr 2018
Making that compromise was only the start,
That is when Life became difficult,
That's when life became hard,
I caused Chaos and Carnage, Which Tore lives apart,
I then made the choice to hide in the dark,
I Hurt all of my loved ones as I tossed them aside,
I Broke their hearts, I tormented their minds,
All of my values were quickly forgotten,
all my beliefs had decayed, they were rotten,
I had A personality crisis, Part of me had died,
And as The innocence left, the Deceit was on the rise,
Honesty crumbled, the truth couldn't be found,
And Every compromise that i made,
Was another hole in the ground,
The deeper you dig, the less you will feel,
Surrounded by soil with no chance to heal,
As anger takes hold, only hatred exists,
Desperately searching for that light in the mist,
Your faith has been shattered, scattered all around,
And as hope disappears, there is only silence,

No sound.

— The End —