I still don't sleep well at night sometimes. I miss you, whoever you are, or maybe I just miss having someone close to me I can put all of this love into, an outlet for my affection. Whatever the case, I spend my waking moments wondering where you are and my moments asleep wondering when. It's honestly getting harder to tell the difference between the two, the two infinite worlds of possibility where wild, unexpected things happen. Or don't. Sometimes the reality is more interesting than the dream.

There's a certain sense of tranquil quiet when you're lonely that I can only appreciate for about 5 minutes before my heart grips against its iron bars, looking for a key or a file or a spoon to leap its way out of my chest to freedom and adventure. It writes Morse code letters on skipped heartbeats to you, but I am a miserable translator and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my past, for all the wrongs I've committed in the nebulous black leviathan night, the almost-nightmare state of bleariness and hypnotic suggestibility. Clarity only comes when you spirit your marble curved likeness in the warm wooded embrace I do so long for in waking life.

I ramble and you float away, O kind angel of faint hope, white stone wings beating tremendously in sync like the buzzer of an alarm clock, striking me asleep again for daylight, somnambulating across the barren black-tar desert in search of water and finding only more black sand.

The nights have become more torturous without your colorless gaze. Please get here soon so I can tell you about how I've known you all my life.

With fondest regards,
Christian

If I could look into your eyes, I would tell you how I feel.
If I could look into your eyes, you would see that I'm for real.

If I could look into your eyes, you would see I adore you most.
If I could look into your eyes, at the same time I'd hold you close.

My heart is a lock, but my darling, you are the key.
I admire you so much, you just don't know what you do to me!

Tell me what you want. Your wish is my command.
When the chips are down, then by your side is where I'll stand.

I don't care about your present. I don't care about your past.
All I want is a chance to be with you is all I ask.

I watch you from a distance. I desire your affection, but when
you look my way I have to look in another direction.

I try to gather my thoughts. I try to make a way; but when I
see you, I loose control, not knowing what to say.

How could I come across to get my point of view?
I wonder if you even know that I have a crush on you.

I adore everything you do. I cherish everything that you say.
You make me blush, smile, laugh, and sing...you surely make
my day!

My whole day could be bad. I could be sad and blue,
but you change it all just by simply looking at you.

So I hope you get this letter; being with you is my only
wish. I will now close this letter and I seal it with a kiss.

Please accept my letter, for your affection I desire.
Signed, sealed, delivered, it is I, your secret admirer.

The orb of night is pulchritudinous tonight,
And not a breath of life in this house seems to notice.
My eyes on you, Your eyes on me,
Viciously music trapped between the bed and windows;
Innocents tiptoeing along the hall,
And us.
While walking towards your car,
I suppose inferring that:
The orb is pulchritudinous tonight,
But what I decry is meant for self-revelation or not at all.
You look at me and smile.
I will always admire the way you glow is so generous to,
Those unaware of the way she fills my eyes.
A delicate modesty.
You open my door,
And I am thankful;
But can’t help wishing to be with someone who notices that,
The Orb is Pulchritudinous tonight.

I find everything absolutely breathtaking.

How can you not think your gorgeous yet,
Sparkling hazel nut eyes aren't the most,
Intriguing things?
They are breath taking and powerful,
enough to give me nervous
Butterflies!

You see the way the clouds capture the sun,
Making,
If only for a second,
The perfect bittersweet scene.
The suns final goodbye,
Makes,
A final goodbye makes a masterpiece,
That is impossible to recreate.

Exposed to the damp smell,
Of the rainy earth,
Or the tingling's pinpricks of snow flakes,
resting on your fare skin.

Your time,
Taken,
To get as close as you can,
To the galaxies that construct,
The roof above you to explore.

They are fascinating at night,
When each star becomes Luminous,
Against the Black of Night.

We laughed as we watched,
We smiled as we played.
Then suddenly came a Romeo
To surprise your day.He asked to play,
You nodded to agree.

Little did you know?
He set it up for you.
You spoke of numbers,
He moved the options,
You chose one paper,
There popped the question.
Go with me? He had written,
You sat staring, not saying a word.
Actually shocked and yet a bit smitten.
Jeers surfaced, wolf whistles released.
Your cheeks' red however, somehow increased.
Your heart was pounding,
Was this really true?
I guess so,
Since You said __ to Him.

We all are so terrified to live entity,
To genuinely be gracious,
To genuinely giggle,
Or howl .

And to pageant the world,
Who we truly are,
But yet, all so awed to die,
We are terrified of unfamiliar,
And loom.

To show our sensitivity, and our repentance,
Anxious of what others might convey,
To our face,
And trailing our back.

What's left to do?

I won't let myself douse,
In the agony of society,
Encompassing me.

I will emerge,
I will emotionally respect,
With every spark,
Of light in me.

I will be the discrepancy.

As the sea is dolorous
My soul is untamable
As the moon perpetuate the sea
One can make me conclusive
But who can bottle that be?

The sea may reverberate
My affection may extravasate
The moon dispassion the waves
Of my life's precipitation
Who can prevail against me?

As deep as the sea
Is my love and my heart
As the moon faultless the sea
I need someone to quiescent me
Who can rival me?

The sea is so atramentous
As is my disposition
The moon luminosity it's light
Can someone genuinely love me
And make me whole?

I need a camaraderie
Like the moon and the sea
Commensurate and exhaustive
Come find me
If you dare
I'm lost at sea.