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Dec 2022 · 2.4k
A Voice That Cracks
Chris Bee Dec 2022
I wish my small voice,
the one that cracks,
could fill a room with music.

Longing for a deep baritone,
able to turn heads
and take their breath away

I want to garner respect;
have most know me
from voice alone.

A lonely world it is
not having that strong voice
or even a room to fill it with.
A poem about music, but more about confidence.
Sep 2021 · 450
The Patch
Chris Bee Sep 2021
I found myself at another shop, a ritual of mine,
pondering its wares, as if I were actually interested.
The whole song-and-dance was routine by now.
I finally got to the section I was wanting,
and the small bin sat there, waiting for me.
The mass of colors and styles and shapes and sizes
were making my selection difficult;
they all had such different appeals to them,
such different ways others would judge them,
judge me for wearing them.
After finding something to my liking,
I slipped it inside my jacket pocket,
already adorn with many of its brothers and sisters,
coming from several
different locations,
different times,
different people.
I hurriedly left, ignoring the cashier’s bored “see ya next time.”
At the food court, I sat, meeting with my friends.
I sit, observe as they speak.
Much like the bin at the shop,
I look for something in them.
A hobby,
an interest,
an accent even,
just to call my own.
Finally, a joke is made, relating to a teacher,
and I got it.
I smiled to myself,
ready to incorporate
what I had stolen from my friend.
Part 4 of 4 of four works I did for an emulation portfolio. This poem is an emulation of the style from David Ignatow's “The Bagel.”
Chris Bee Sep 2021
Do you remember the first time we met?
When I snuck out? My parents thought I was gone for the weekend, camping with a friend.
Instead, I came to you.

Do you remember how long that drive felt?
Did we really understand how far Texas is from Arizona? but hearing your voice on the phone
made the distance feel less daunting.

Do you remember the party my family planned for you
when you first moved in? You cried about it being
your first real birthday party.
They loved you from that first moment.

Do you remember that first tiff?
We both sat in silence for a minute, thinking it over; you
spoke first, something that was hard for me.
I felt so happy for it all to be over.

Do you remember how it felt to truly love each other? Do I?
I thought I didn't want to break your
heart by saying it was over,
but the reality was, I feared being alone again.

Thankfully, you had enough strength for both of us.
Though it hurt, the feeling of relief was immense. Do you remember me being happy?
It has been a while.

When will it come back?
Part 3 of 4 of four works I did for an emulation portfolio. This poem is an emulation of the style from Maria Hummel's “I’m This Many.”
Sep 2021 · 1.2k
Hey Mom
Chris Bee Sep 2021
Hey Mom,

I just wanted to tell you about the amazing day I am having. First, I woke up to water dripping on me, as if the leaky roof were trying to improve the lumpy bed by giving it a good soak- when the brochure said I “would feel closer to nature more than ever,” I didn't think it meant so literal. After salvaging some semi-dry clothes, I went outside to realize my car window had been broken into. It was dumb of me for leaving my laptop bag in the car when I got in last night, I was just so exhausted from the drive. Well, you know how I get when I get upset, so I chunked my phone, as if it was the one causing my great morning. It landed in some bushes, and after wrestling with the branches for a bit, I finally saw him. Not even ten feet away from my phone did I see the most beautiful pelican. Something about his simple eyes, looking at me with some mixture of boredom and apathy, made me realize where I was. The cool air filled my lungs, leaving smell of salt in my nose. The sand I was sitting in was warm from the sun, feeling like that cozy quilt grandma made for me years ago.
So yeah, today was an amazing day.

With Love,

Chris
Part 2 of 4 of four works I did for an emulation portfolio. This poem is an emulation of the style from Rachel Knudsen’s “How to Enter the Ocean.” This is an example of a postcard poem. The link to the image can be found at https://imgur.com/a/eNQ8KME. I do not own this image and it is being used under free use law.
Sep 2021 · 1.2k
Why I love being your son
Chris Bee Sep 2021
Because you sang to me when I could not sleep; because you held me when I needed it; because of the years of laughing and crying and other lovely and terrible emotions I see in the lines etched in your face; because you never once held me back, never once doubted me or my own path; because you never let all of the painful moments and mistakes I had pass without showing me what God wanted to teach me; because you accept my flaws, accept my needs, and push me to realize I am worthy of love and happiness; because you gave me the strong belief system that I rely on daily; because you showed me what a healthy family is, striking the dream of growing my own one day into my heart; & because you are my mom and dad; one I share your namesake, the other made me your spittin' image, and when I hear my name, or see my image in the mirror, I can't help but feel you close to me, and no matter the distance, I feel you holding me when I need it, and hear you singing to me when I cannot sleep.
Part 1 of 4 of four works I did for an emulation portfolio. This poem is an emulation of the style from Samuel Green’s “Some Reasons.”
Chris Bee Jan 2020
You entered my life
in a time where I believed
that I wasn't worth much.
Not only did you show me
true companionship,
but you also made me truly believe
that life would be alright.

It's crazy that we used to be strangers
who just kinda knew the same people.
Now, after three years,
We see each other every single day.
Not because we go to school together,
or work together,
but for the simple fact that we choose to.

And it hurts me so much to say,
but I need to cut you out of my life.
I am sitting here, at five in the morning,
tearing up
because I know that I can't help but
be deeply
and madly
in love with you.

But I know you need a friend;
someone who isn't trying to use you
or tie you down.
You need a platonic relationship, now more than ever.
Someone who you can hang out with.
Someone who you can laugh with.
Someone who you can listen to music with.

So for your sake,
I will stand my ground,
and let my heart silently burn away,
so that you may one day be okay again.
Jan 2020 · 491
On the Edge
Chris Bee Jan 2020
I look over the cliff.
It's not only steep,
but deafening.

Down below
about a hundred feet under my feet,
the waves crash violently against the rock face.

The cruel, unforgiving ocean,
the jagged rocks that come in and out of existence
beneath the water,

why do they seem to be inviting me into their unending embrace?

I often think about how it would feel,
the few seconds before hitting the water,
the few seconds after jumping from the edge.

My mom says that's when
most people panic and freak out,
realizing they regret a choice they no longer have a choice in.

However,
all I can think about is the air flowing past me, like I'm flying,
and smelling the sea as the noise of the water grew closer,

and crying.

Crying not from sadness or joy
or anything I have felt in a long time,
but from pure, unadulterated relief.

And I think I would be smiling as well.
:):
May 2019 · 1.5k
Meat
Chris Bee May 2019
I want to escape

My skin is a prison that I want to escape;
I know there is nothing underneath the flesh and bones I call mine,
but I can FEEL my essence angrily churning,
begging for release of this existence.

I want to escape

The flesh I occupy feels like a punishment
bestowed upon me for not being worthy of being truly free
by God who knows the tortment I wish
on those who are innocent.

I want to escape

The prison of meat I call mine was designed by a being
who isn't limited by one himself.
My flesh burns,
as my soul rejects it.

I want to escape

Can Father hear how
his creation screams inside the neat little prison
he made for me?

I want to escape

Can Father forgive me
for cutting into the walls of this prison
he made for me?

I want to escape

Can Father let me out
of this nightmare of a prison that
he made for me?

I want to escape
I want to escape
Please,
I want to escape.
Jun 2018 · 355
The Last Stand
Chris Bee Jun 2018
You can't torture me anymore!

I have escaped your grasp!

With a knife in one hand,

and gauze in the other,

I have prepared myself for my

last stand
May 2018 · 889
Micro-Love
Chris Bee May 2018
You are my micro-love,

cuz whenever I think about you,

my feelings overwhelm me

and they make me feel so small

and ******* insignificant.
May 2018 · 202
this is a cry for help
Chris Bee May 2018
"Guys...
I'm just kidding,
chill"
May 2018 · 696
Take Me Out
Chris Bee May 2018
******
or
date

either way, I win
May 2018 · 173
The Obsession
Chris Bee May 2018
The mania comes,
and so does the obsession.
It holds me to her,
never letting my brain stray
TOO far from the thought of

that beautiful smile
those dark chocolate eyes
the cute poses
her

welp,
this is going to hurt like a *******.
May 2018 · 214
I am happy
Chris Bee May 2018
I am no longer sad
I am happy now
I am no longer depressed
I am not hurting
I am okay
I Am Okay
I AM OKAY


I swear I feel okay!
All the time I feel like am getting better!
Might have never been depressed, actually...
Not denial or anything!
Or maybe I was just not that depressed,
Taking it too far just so that I could justify
Or feel okay with my
Kutting and self-harm, all the drinking...
Alcohol makes the pain fade away a bit, but
You know that I am okay now.

It doesn't matter anymore,
I am okay.
I am okay.
I am okay.
•_• I am okay •_•
May 2018 · 361
Chess
Chris Bee May 2018
I am constantly manipulating
the outcomes of my life.

Calculating my moves,
trying to get ahead.

Rook to B4
Queen to F4

Apparently,
I am not very good at chess.
Chris Bee Apr 2018
What is
the most awful pain that we love?
That is simple.
The most awful pain: that we love.
Apr 2018 · 359
Warning: Overdose
Chris Bee Apr 2018
thirstiness
lost appetite
nausea
vomiting
diarrhea
lethargy
coma
cardiac arrest


Hmmm...

Sounds better than the alternative

Doesn't it?
Apr 2018 · 252
A, 1; Z, 26
Chris Bee Apr 2018
A simple message is no less powerful than

1 12-15-14-7 15-14-5, 5-22-5-14 9-6 25-15-21 8-1-22-5 20-15

put some effort into actually

21-14-4-5-18-19-20-1-14-4-9-14-7 9-20. 15-6 3-15-21-18-19-5, 20-8-5 19-9-13-16-12-5-19-20 13-5-19-19-1-7-5

is the truest:

9 12-15-22-5 25-15-21.
Having some fun with simple codes and such
Apr 2018 · 295
Binary
Chris Bee Apr 2018
They Say
Say We
We All
All Have
Have To
To Be
Be One
One Way
Way Or
Or Another.

01000010 01110101
01110100 00100000
01110100 01101000
01101001 01110011
00100000 01101001
01110011 00100000
01101110 01101111
01110100 00100000
01110100 01110010
01110101 01100101
00101100 00100000
01101110 01101111
01110111 00100000
01101001 01110011
00100000 01101001
01110100 00111111
Hopefully a little bit more positive than my usual content :D
Apr 2018 · 2.8k
Marco...
Chris Bee Apr 2018
When I call out
into the nothingness of my bleak existence,
I desperately scream one thing:
"Marco..."

...and I let my absolute mundane, boring, maddening vacuum
absorb the echos,
and as the yell fades away to a yelp,
I waited for my answer.
And waited...

And waited...
And waited...
And waited...
And waited...
And waited...
And waited...
And waited...
And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... 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And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... And waited... waited... waited... waited... waited... waited... wai...

"...Pollo," the void returned.
Apr 2018 · 1.0k
I Love You
Chris Bee Apr 2018
I love you.
Yes, you;
I love you, reader.
For I love the human race.

I love that we can conquer our fears and defeat our weakness.
We can use our strengths to not just help ourselves,
but each other by being interdependent;
which brings me to my next point:

I love that we can come together when times get hard.
We can rely on each other,
we can work together, even after we have fought
over our different beliefs; speaking of which...

I love that we can have new and different ideas.
We can think independently and become stronger because of it.
From the conservatives to the liberals, and everything in between,
our differences don't matter because our similarities are stronger.

But Lastly, I love that we CAN love.
I love you, reader.
The same way I love my future wife
and my future children,
and I don't even know them!
Nor do I you...

But I still love you <3
Wrote this in a weird mood. Didn't try to polish it, sorry ;P
Mar 2018 · 240
If it has to be said
Chris Bee Mar 2018
i do NOT want to die.
i really do NOT.



...can you help?
Mar 2018 · 1.3k
Edgy
Chris Bee Mar 2018
You will probably say I’m edgy;
just a teen who constantly jokes
about suicide and such.
But do you know?

You will probably say I’m edgy;
just a teen who acts like a *****
to my family and close friends.
But do you know?

You will probably say I’m edgy;
just a teen who stays
up late at night and in his room.
But do you know?

But do you know?
i’m not making jokes.
i don’t want you to miss me.
i’m trying not to cut myself open.

But do you know?
Mar 2018 · 471
Dear Ma’am
Chris Bee Mar 2018
Dear ma’am,


It seems you have stepped on my spleen!
Now you must be confused, but I am not like most people.
You see, most people are rather cliché!

They would say such things as
“you broke my heart”
“you've torn my soul to bits”

But there is no soul, my dear,
except, of course, in a philosophical sense,
for the soul is just the essence of a person, you see.

And the heart, my dear,
only feels pain when sad or angry,
but I am neither.

However, the spleen, my dear, can feel the pain of love
even after the heart has accepted the loss. You see,
the spleen is often affected by Mono, or the “kissing disease."

With such a romantic nickname, my dear,
you’d conclude that Mono is a disease of romance.
However, even after that love is gone, the Mono remains.

So that returns me to my original statement, my dear:
it seems you have stepped on my spleen!
For I have accepted that you have died,

but I still hurt for you.

— The End —