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4.0k · Aug 2018
Victim
Chiquita Aug 2018
Depression,
It's like living but feeling lifeless,
having an heart but feeling it hollow.
Its like being free
But being trapped in your own mind.
You are not suicidal but want to disappear.
Its feeling lonely when everyone are around you.
Having insecurities even though you're beautiful.
Its when you lose your smile
Cause your too caught up in your mind.
Its that moment when your past and present
Mistakes replay.
The moment when you start to feel suffocated Like all the air is removed from you.
When you suddenly start crying but have no idea why.
You start to feel worthless,
You start the harm yourself,
You slowly lose yourself to your inner demons,
You feel ugly and lonely,
It's in that point of time you start to fake smile and say , "I'm Okay" only because you are broken but don't wanna explain it cause it's all too much.
Yep that's depression
and we are all victims to it at some point of time.
I have been having depression for quite a long time. If anyone here feels the same maybe we could reach out to each other and be there for each other. Just let me know. If any of you are therapist it would be lovely if you reach out to those who comment below.
Chiquita Jan 7
You say life is a disaster
I tell you not
Have you watched the sun rise up?
Have you seen the flowers at early dawn;
The way the face of the sun is seen glowing in the dew drop.
Take a moment to see life is the world around you.
You say life is a disaster
I tell you not
Have you smelt the earth at the birth of rain?
Have you let the wind give you a loving embrace;
As the sweet smell lingers around and calms every soul it touches.
Stop whatever you are doing to see life is the world around you.
You say life is a disaster
I tell you not
Have you seen the moon kiss the night sky
And how it brings every hidden star alive;
The way it lights up the sky and illuminates the beauty of the dark night.
Take a moment for yourself  and see that life is the world around you.
You say life is a disaster
I tell you not
Have you seen the colours on the butterfly?
Have you watched a tiger prancing by?
They both are different in size but yet so majestic in their own way.

Take a moment
Take your time
Take note of what’s passing by.
You say life is a disaster
I tell you
To feel the wind, it is waiting to embrace you.
Admire the beauty in nature when the sun is born.
Take a deep breath of the earth and watch it as it moves.
Use your sense,
Use them all
And let your restless soul calm down.
You say life is a disaster
I tell you not
Life is You and everything around you.
There is beauty in every little being;
Even if life is a disaster
2.1k · Apr 2018
Hidden behind the smile
Chiquita Apr 2018
She looked so happy that you can't tell
Under that smile was a hurricane;
She wore a mask that looked real to the eye;
But underneath it was the scars she hides;
Every pain she felt was hidden in her smile,
The more pain she felt the more she smiled ;
She laughed so loudly ,
That no one knew she was lonely;
She showed herself as whole,
Skillfully hiding the hole;
She never cried she never tried,
All she did was hide it and smile;
Her hurt was stronger than her smile ,
Her emptiness was deeper than her laugh,
She never moaned she never swore,
Cause she was strong and had hope
So all she did was smile.
Stay strong. Everything will be over soon
970 · Sep 2017
A world without Internet
Chiquita Sep 2017
O Internet what would have I done
If you didn't provide me
With the things that I need.
I'll have no friends to speak
No information to grasp for my project ;
No songs, no downloads, no movies
No maps to use when I'm lost my way;
Facebook, Twitter will not exist
Cyber bullying will not be at risk
Through you, the world has gone
Better and worse,
As you provide knowledge to the mind
And corruption to the soul;
May the world realise how good you are,
And you may stay where ever you.
A little imagination of mine, how the world will be without Internet
735 · Oct 2019
Girl in the mirror
Chiquita Oct 2019
I looked in the mirror
and saw this girl
There she stood looking ever so tired.
She had messy hair
and patches under her eyes;
She looked at me
and I could see pain she disguised.
I didn't even recognize her at first ;
Then I looked a little closer
And I saw a warrior ever so strong.
She's didn't save anyone but herself.
She saved her own self
from the clutches of the demons,
The demons that played with fire.
Everyday was a battle but she never gave up.
Here she is standing stronger than ever.
My own reflection, that's me;
I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
I'm a warrior, both brave and strong.
The girl in the mirror is who I wanna become.
583 · Apr 2018
He never judged her
Chiquita Apr 2018
She was sad,
She needed someone who cared.
She went into her room
Just like every night
And held onto him
She cried her heart out
Though she never spoke
He could understand everything
He knew her better than anyone else
People would think she's crazy
But she knew better
She knew he knew
He'd been watching her from a child
Yet he never judged her
Teddy was always there for her.
People who hold their Teddy bears for comfort will understand this
485 · Apr 2018
Pain she bore
Chiquita Apr 2018
The pain she bored was heavy to hold ;
It ate her mind but she never told,
To anyone she never shown;
She sat by herself and wondered why,
Life was unjust and made her cry
Heavy bags were evident to see,
That the pain she bore was not letting her sleep;
But she somehow seemed to cast a smile
Silently telling me she was alright
But in those glossy eyes I could see
The pain she bore was there indeed
My heart hurt to see her pain
Which she tried to hide again
So I held her close to let her know
That I'll be with her and never go.
484 · Nov 2019
Be Proud of you
Chiquita Nov 2019
If you're suffering from mental health issues
Know that you are not alone.
If you woke up today and reading this right now
I am extremely proud of you.
It takes only the bravest of heart
To put up with all this crap.
You are still fighting the war in your head
And very soon you'll win, my love.
If you just hang on a little longer
Those demons will get tired of hurting you and let go.
You might feel like you are buried
and everything in life seems hopeless.
But I tell you there is hope.
Everything in life is temporary.
Seeds have to be buried for flowers to grow.
Don't be ashamed, love.
Mental illness is not a disgrace.
It's a sign of strength of how far you've come.
Ask for help, don't feel bad.
The more you talk about it,
The better you will feel.
Trust me it does.
Learn to love yourself, that's the first step to get out of depression.
Look into the mirror and see the beauty you possess within.
The gems behind all the scars and skin.
You have to understand that depression is only a illusion.
The more you feed it the more it grows.
Unless you value and take care of yourself
Only then can you **** the monsters in your head.
I know it's not easy but nothing good comes easy.
You need to look into the mirror
Love the person you see.
You have been through so much and here you are,
Be proud of that.
Know that you are loved
And learn to love you.
Make peace with your loneliness.
Be proud of everything you do,
Even if it's just breathing.
Be proud of you.
Baby steps, my love.
You got this. I know you do.....
If you need anyone to talk too. Someone not to judge you. A listener. I'm here. Just dm me.
340 · Sep 2017
Life
Chiquita Sep 2017
Life is a boat
You are sailing in the journey of life
With people in your boat.
At some point of time
These people will leave for two reasons,
One, set you free, help you sail far
Two, for new people to enter in.
There is no use of holding onto them.
You have to let old go
For new to come in.
Sometimes you might find yourself alone
On a stormy sea
But don't be scared
Someone will accompany you soon
Sometimes the journey might be rough or get caught in a storm
You have to hold on  instead
Of jumping in the sea.
You need to go through a storm
To reach your dream island.
Storm is referred to your hard days in life. Sea is either referred to death or depression. Dream land  is your goal in life, The place you need to be.
Chiquita Jan 8
A new year
A new beginning
It starts with fire.
Fire
That's all you see.
I see my house burning
In front of my eyes
Ripping away piece by piece
Diminishing into the flames.
I see my friends getting hurt
Smoke suffocting them.
They don't know what to do
They can't run or hide.
I hear my family crying;
Our home is fading
We have no where to go.
For you it's just trees.
For me it's home.
It's my food.
It's my living.
Everything is taken away from me
Yet you cry for your loss.
My entire Species is going extinct.
One by one they burn
Along with their house
they vanish into the flames.
This is too painful for me.
I have nothing to cling onto
I have no family to call.
I'm just a homeless runt.
This is written from the koala point of view.
25 people died.
We lost 1 billion of animals.....
246 · Jun 2019
Bird in a cage
Chiquita Jun 2019
She was a bird in a cage
Locked from the evil lurking in the outside world.
All she wanted was to fly and see the world.
But she was kept locked in the cage.
Such beautiful feathers of a rare kind,
If it gets in the wrong hands,
Oh what bad could they do.
The owners kept her in safe and sound
But that's not what birdie wants
She wanted to fly and be happy 
Just like all other birds. 
But not everyone gets what they want 
Especially not a bird with a broken wings.
Her heart was in pieces ;
Some of it far from her reach.
She couldn't go find it so she held what she had left. 
Clutched to her chest she held it there. 
Sometimes it went numb.
Sometimes she could fell everything crash ,
For she felt like a useless bird in a cage.
Less of a bird more of a doll.
Stone cold; 
Sometimes she sang a sweet melancholy,  
A melody so sad and alone
But sometimes it was more of a dream.
She looked through the windows 
As she sang her bits and pieces 
In a rhythm,
Wondering if they'll be a day
She can fly safe in the sky. 
Till then she'll just sing all day long.
No matter much the owners took care of her, 
Daintly like a proceline glass valuing the feathers she possessed, 
Yet she couldn't stop to wonder where the pieces where gone.
She wanted to find it but she couldn't 
Cause she's just a bird in a cage.
205 · Jun 2019
The Rose bush
Chiquita Jun 2019
Living life is like walking in a rush Bush.
Somedays are made with roses and sweet fragrance,
Filled with Joy and laughter.
Somedays we trample over the torns,
Leaving us heartbroken and sad.
Most days are made up of both,
Though the torns rip you
There are some Roses to heal you.
Roses or torns, we were made strong enough to walk on both.
As people say, "life is not a bed of Rose's."
189 · Jan 7
I'm a woman
Chiquita Jan 7
I'm a Woman
Not your toy
I was not born to do service to your boy.
I'm a Woman
Both strong and sensitive
I'm not weak, that's just your perspective.
I'm a Woman
Not a puppet
Don't try to rule my life with your trumpet.
I'm a Woman
I bring life
Without me your son won't have a wife.
I'm a Woman
Not an object
Don't try to use me or treat me like a subject.
I am Woman
I like to dress
I was not born for you to undress.
I'm a Woman
Not a ball
If you kick me down, I will stand up tall.
I'm a Woman
Born to be a leader and a boss
I can lead your clan or bring it to a loss.
I'm a Woman
Not a trophy
I am not yours so don't act like you own me;
Don't ask for money and try to get me.
I'm a Woman
A woman more than that;
I can be a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife.
I take all these rolls, I’m like a dice.
Remember me? I created you and gave life.
All I ask from you is to try and nice.
138 · Oct 2019
What is depression?
Chiquita Oct 2019
What is Depression?
Depression is many things
Most of them are hard to explain.
It's like living but feeling lifeless.
It's like wanting to disappear
And start over again.
Having an heart but feeling hollow.
Like there is this heavy space than hurts within.
Its like being free
But being trapped in your own mind.
Its feeling lonely when everyone are around you.
Having insecurities even though you're beautiful.
Its when the a genuine smile gets replaced by a fake one.
Being too caught up in your mind
And not being able to breathe.
Feeling like your head is under water
Even though you are far off shore.
Its that moment when your past
And present Mistakes replay.
That moment when your whole world caves in.
The moment when you start to feel suffocated Like all the air is removed from your body.
Suddenly burst out crying but have no idea why.
Depression makes you feel many things,
Makes you feel worthless,
Drives you nuts,
Pushes you to suicide,
Makes you week
Then you slowly start to lose yourself to your inner demons.
You feel ugly and extremely lonely,
Like being in a world where no one cares.
Then comes a point of time you start to fake smile and say , "I'm Okay" only because you are broken but don't wanna explain it cause it's all too much.
Depression is a demon
Demons that fight with fire
Fights with your soul
And messes the mind.
Even the smallest thing becomes difficult to do
Even if it's just breathing.
Yes, that's depression
and we are all victims to it at some point of time.
If you are having depression or any kind of mental illness,  you are not alone. If you wanna talk about it I am always here, you could dm me. *big hug* to those here

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