It started so small,
The slight gestures that made me question.
You seemed to be a so sweet,
uttering the sweet nothings that made my heart flutter without trying.
Even though you said they were insincere
I refused to believe it.
You uttered them in a way that didn’t feel like an act, not like how you said them to the others.
I try to keep my feelings at bay knowing this wouldn’t end well if I didn’t.
You wouldn’t allow that though, with your warm gaze and words of honey I didn’t stand a chance.
Alone you make it seem real
Then I feel like I’m not even seen
You never seem to be afraid of my embrace unless someone is there to witness it.
It’s ok, I understand.
You’re not ready to accept who you are…
Just know I accepted you from the start.
I’m tired of you
No one deserves what you’ve taken
Taken from my heart
The countless bouts of pain
I’ve decided that I’m waiting,
Waiting for someone who truly loves me
What is love?
An emotion, or a beautiful lie?
We tell ourselves we love someone.
But how can you ever
When you can’t even love yourself?
I know we met a short time ago but feeling this just hurts.
It hurts to think about you.
You share the same birthday as him and he hurt me so badly.
I know you could never be the same as that ***** but... What if?
What if you manipulate? What if you don’t love me back? What if you just use me?
I can’t handle the thought of being so lonely anymore.
I just can’t.
I know it is horrible to put so much pressure but I think you are different. You don’t even know.
I see the pain behind your eyes.
The sarcasm you put on as a façade to hide your suffering.
I wish I could help, I don’t think people understand like I may.
The worst part. You have no idea of my inner turmoil. And you may never. Because in the end
All I am
Is a ******* coward.
I lay here pondering why you are so scared to admit to yourself what the truth really is.
I want to be on my own so I don’t have to be in the **** household that I can’t be myself in.
I can’t bare to be so lonely in a world full of people like you. Hateful.
I have friends and family who supports me but without your approval I just feel so lost.
I want to explain that loving isn’t a sin, why would it be? But I never get the opportunity.
Maybe I do have a crush on him, maybe I am a ******* ******, does it really matter?
I don't want to be 19.
That's how old you were,
When we met.
Your mind wasn't that,
Of an adult's.
Neither is mine,
But your body was,
And I was 15.
— The End —