I was once told;
'Your body is young, yet your mind is old'.

I felt empowered,
But it broke my soul.

Someone once said;
'You have quite a steady head'.

I felt proud,
But I was wrongly led.

'You finally settled down',
'Your truly stronger now'.

You may be right,
But I grew up in flight.

Running from feelings,
As they were seen as weakness.

Wiser beyond my age,
So obedient
And well-behaved.

But at that stage,
It was not okay.

Suppression ,
And depression
Made a wiser brain.

No play,
No games.

Just lived as a wise man,
Each and every day.

Dare I say,
I take it day by day.

Moments of play,
Sculpted like clay.

But a thought to die
Pops up in my mind.

My mind,
Once flourished
Turns decayed,
Malnourished.

It captures my brain.

Perhaps I'm insane?

But on the outside,
I am sane.

No worry
To come my way.

All is well,
I know,
For that will stay the same.

It cannot change,
I CANNOT BE THIS WAY.

But alas,
I am.
I fall ill
In earth's hands.

For now
I carry utter guilt,
And blame.

What a shame.

Here I ponder,
Inside my room.

Breath hitching,
As the clock strikes noon.

Warm feeling ,
Gone all too soon.

And now,
I am full of gloom.

For reality,
Lives here in my room.

It is safe,
Like a child in their womb.

Dare I shake it off?
This feeling of terror,
And doom?

For life is my mind,
Cheerful and kind,
And I shall not live in gloom.

My eyes awaken,
The day is sacred.

A sun arrives,
Slowly rising.

The grass,
Slowly swaying.
My fears,
Erasing.

This day graces me
With joy and safety.
All away
From anger,
and hatred.

This moment of life,
I cherish so greatly.

For i'm one step away
From a perfect haven.

You are burdened
By time,
Your presence is unknown.
But what matters,
My lover,
Is how you grow.

Don’t fret,
Or try to forget
Of a time felt alone.

Be still,
My lover,
For a heartache is known.

But time ,
By your side,
Will guide your way home.

Look at me,
How slick and sleek.
A lipstick to wear
With blush on my cheek.

A corset tied tight
To cut my breath.
A queasy,
Uneasy
Feeling lingers through my chest.

You took my neck,
One hand down my vest.

But I look my best,
As you say to the rest.

I am worthy now,

I have passed your test.

Your words,
Taunt me.
An echo
Of your voice,
Haunts me.

You developed,
So coldly.
Proceeded to love me
So weakly.

Yet you turn,
To face me.
Say my name
So loudly.

Your grieving,
Of the old me.  
Yet I ,
Face you.

No words
I spew,
Only hurt within truth,

As we are torn in two.