Chase Alexander

Chase Alexander Nov 2017

Reason

Killing myself tonight.
I'm sick of putting up a fight.
I live for asphyxiation.
Wish I could just live for light.
Put a bullet through my head.
Thankful that I'm already dead.
Feeling all alone.
No place to call my home.

I can't be perfect.
But that is all you will ever expect.
Your expectations are killing me.
You will be the death of me.

You are the reason.
Pushing me past my limits.
You always wanted me
to become someone else.
You are the reason I seldom differ.
You are the reason I'm on my knees.
So sick of your expectations.
Sick of this ****.

Pain is swimming
through my mind again.
My knife is my only friend.
Everyone around me.
Backwards I will bend.
I just want this misery to end

You tell me everything.
You control my every move.
So if I **** myself am I also killing you?
I hope it really does.
I don't mean a thing at all.
Maybe the day that I die
is when your reign will fall.

You are the reason.
Pushing me past my limits.
You always wanted me
to become someone else.
You are the reason I seldom differ.
You are the reason I'm on my knees.
Sick of your expectations.
Sick of this ****.

But guess what?!
I am my own person!
I'm taking back my life.
Nothing left to sacrifice.
But you!

#death #lonely #pain #misery #hope #sacrifice #life #fight #light #alone

Chase Alexander Nov 2017

Impossible

Oh my god I wanna die
I sit here while you watch me cry.
Because you know
you ripped my heart out.
Yes, you know
I'm ******* falling apart.
And I'm lying with the wind.
While you blow away the tables.
Singing with that precious,
luscious voice
that leaves me so unstable.

Watching you walk away.
It will always stay the same.
Drop dead gorgeous in your path.
**** the boys with your wrath.
I feel the sting.
I feel the pain.
I'm crying these tears in the rain.
I wanted you then, I want you now.
But you're so. . .
******* IMPOSSIBLE!

You and me will never work out
cuz we'll always scream
and we'll always shout.
Call me all the names in book.
Leave me for someone
with better looks.

I feel sorry for the guys
who fall in love with boys like you.
Doing every breathing thing
you can get your **** into.
And I feel sorry for the girls
who fall for all your ******* tricks.
Why is it that you think love is all
JUST FOR KICKS!

STOP ******* FOOLING AROUND WITH MY HEART!
I'M SO SICK OF YOUR ****!
YOU'RE JUST A ****!
YOU'RE ******* IMPOSSIBLE!

#impossible #anger #rage #love #heartbreak #crying #dying #pain #heart #sorry

Chase Alexander Nov 2017

Two

My heart is being split in two.
I don't know what I'd do
without either of you.
Feels like I'm here playing a game.
My love for you drives me insane.
I cannot handle this pain.
ANYMORE.

Take my body and take my pain.
My mind tells me to leave.
But my heart tells me to stay.
Take my sorrow until tomorrow.
I don't think things will ever change.
FOR ME.

Just think about leaving me.
I'll have a panic attack.
Too many attachment issues.
Now it's death that I lack.
And all of Lords angels
and the Lord of the Dead.
They could never make me whole.
AGAIN.

I know that I seem heartless
but in reality.
I just have too much heart.
Love is blind you'll see.
Life isn't a fantasy.
Not a dream come true.
We all die alone.
This is nothing new.
And all of my demons
keep me awake at night. They are always hoping.
FOR A FIGHT.

Life is not a game.
Not a fairytale.
It's not an infinitive dimension.
Not all love is the same.

Your prayers will not help you.
The decision is yours.
Doesn't matter if you sell your soul.
What matters is if you love is true.

#two #love #sorrow #demons #death #heart #pain #issues #panic #angels

Chase Alexander Nov 2017

Broken

Im the type of boy
who can be do **** down.
You all see this smile,
But I just see a frown.
If you look right at me,
Look into my eyes.
Do you see depression
and all my sacrifice?

Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
Can you make me happy?
Can you make me feel alive?
Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
I always try to hide it.
Tell me can you find it?

I wanna go.
I want to just break down.
Turn off the lights
and watch me cry.
All you see is me
fighting to believe.
I try to make it look like
I'm as happy as can be.

Tears run down my face
and you come to me.
Try to stop the tears.
All you want is to make me feel happy.
And the feeling of you here with me
makes me happy for a moment,
but I'm back once you leave.

Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
Can you make me happy?
Can you make me feel alive?
Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
I always try to hide it.
Tell me can you find it?

I feel like it's ending.
I'm in so much pain.
Every night I lie awake
screaming out your name.
Will you come and find Me?
Make me feel alright.
Come to me and hold me.
Hold me oh so tight.

Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
Can you make me happy?
Can you make me feel alive?
Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
I always try to hide it.
Tell me can you find it?

#depression #misery #crying #lonely #broken #life #death #pain #breakdown #feeling

Chase Alexander Nov 2017

Forsaken

Are you really gonna judge me?
               Because I'm not the same.
But haven't you heard?
            That difference is beautiful.
Are you really gonna judge me ?
               Based on a  book
                    Thousands of years old.

          A book that's created by man.
               It's made a breed of haters.
              All it is
                                   Is a book of lies.
              Created to take control
                              of everyone's lives.
              Well I won't be held down.

              Stone me.
                                         Execute me.
              I won't change who I am
                          for a man in the sky.
             Hate me.
                                      Desecrate me.
     I won't change for a book of lies.

             So if there is a God now
Are you telling Me?
             He made me just to be hated.
                       Made me out of greed.
             This is a world of judgement.
                         And we're all on trial.
             All of you haters
                             are living in denial.

             Stone me.
                                           Execute me.
             I won't change who I am
                            for a man in the sky.
            Hate me.
                                        Desecrate me.
      I won't change for a book of lies.

            Judge me.
                                                Burn me.
            I won't live in shame.
                               I will live in pride.
            I will not hide.

           The world's about religion.
                       I think that is a shame.
           I think that all the rights
              should be the ******* same.
           The same for every person
                             living in this world.
           The same for every living boy
                                                  and girl.

           This is a world of hate now.
                         I want that to change.
           But is our freedom
really out of range?
           You can't take it from us.
                   No, we won't back down.
           You can preach your *******
                 while we steal you crown.

#religion #shame #hatred #life #hell #biblical #anger #lies #judgement #death

Chase Alexander Nov 2017

Fragile

Fragile rose and crystal clear.
Falling through my atmosphere.
Falling hard and falling fast.
Looking through my looking glass.

Fragile rose and crystal clear.
Find a way to disappear.
Falling hard and falling fast.
Running away from my past.

Baby, I know that you are here.
I can't explain it to you my dear.
They cut you open
and I watched you bleed.
Now I fall down to my knees.

I watched you bleed.
I watched you bleed
As I fell down to my knees.
I watched you bleed my fragile rose.

I thought I asked you not to cry.
You're acting as if I just died.
I had my reasons to let you go.
Knocked you over
with a stubborn blow.

Pushed you down into your grave.
All I do is misbehave.
Talk g with me all the shame.
Playing my childish games.

I watched you bleed.
I watched you bleed
As I fell down to my knees.
I watched you bleed my fragile rose.

#depression #death #misery #crying #love #broken #fragile #shame #roses #romance

Chase Alexander Nov 2017

Smoke

My depression is a figure
made of smoke.
It wraps itself around me
and suffocates me.
But I can't grasp it.
I only claw at my skin
as I try to make it release its grip.
It fogs my mind
until there is nothing left.
It filters through my being
until I'm left feeling empty.
It covers me like a blanket at night,
but this blanket doesn't comfort me.
It restricts me
and replays everything
I've done wrong.

#depression #sadness #empty #demons #night #issues #comfort #crying #life #death