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Charrrr Mar 2019
The clock says 3am
The darkness is coming again
Every night the same
The fear runs through my veins

It consumes my mind and soul
This dark and empty hole
Every night it takes me
Who knows when I’ll be free

He says he knows where I go
He says he’s been before so
This night he’ll come too
Help me fight the way he used to

The clock says 3am
The darkness is coming again
This night won’t be the same
But the fear runs through our veins

It consumes our minds and soul
This dark and empty hole
But now he’s here with me
And he’s trying to set me free

I’m lost to it now
I can’t see a way out
He’s slowly losing too
There’s nothing I can do

I can see him trying to fight
And next to him is his light
‘This is my shine that will always win’
‘It is stronger than the darkness that takes you in’

‘Find what it is that makes you shine’
‘And use it to fight the dark every time’
He came with me for just one night
He saved my life and taught me to fight

The darkness doesn’t come so much anymore
My light shines bright enough to win the war
I still get lost in it from time to time
But this life and light will always be mine

The clock says 3am
The darkness leaves me again
These nights aren’t always the same
And my light runs through my veins
The story of how a wonderful person saved me a long time ago
#darkness #light #shine
Charrrr Feb 2019
-
Who do you think you are
To make fun of my broken heart
You laugh and joke when I cry and shout
Laugh about something you know nothing about
My heart didn’t break by a girl or a boy
It broke when life played it like a toy

You can rip me apart if you want to
I’ve felt worse I can guarantee you
Everyday I fight a dark that you don’t understand
Every night there’s a knife in my hand
But I am stronger than you can see
I win the battles alone, yes just me
I talk myself off the roof right at the top
Even though all I want is the pain to just stop
I know this is blunt and I’m sorry that it’s true
But it’s about time you know what it is I go through

Maybe you see now a little of how I feel
And how mental illness is very ******* real
If you don’t understand mine
Please don’t tell me to get a grip or that I’ll be fine
Please stop taking my hope away
It’s all that saves me and gets me through everyday
You don’t have the right to make me feel small
I have to pick me up again if you make me fall
I have enough to fight in my own mind
And I don’t need you to be so ******* unkind
Your words go deep and right through me
So when you see me smile, please just leave me be.
Charrrr Feb 2019
I used to think that love shouldn’t hurt or ache
But that was before I felt my heart break
I lost my love the one I would have died for
I left only because I knew I needed more
I will always be sorry that I had to see the world
Because he was the one who saved this girl
I miss how I felt when he looked at me
Now he looks at another and I only hope that she
She loves him and cherishes all that she has
Because I know he’ll give her a world that she’s never had
She’ll feel beautiful and adored
And she’ll never get bored
Because he is so loving and true
I know he already loves you
So please love him the way I did
And be okay with all that he gives
He’s happy and content with the way that he is
I hope that it’s enough for you and you can promise this
You’ll stand by everything he does and you’ll protect him
He needs it, the light he has is pretty dim
So please make it bright, inspire him to be
The person that I thought he would be for me
He’s brilliant and has the biggest heart
And I promise he’ll always make you laugh
Defend him because he won’t defend himself
He deserves it you’ll see it for yourself
Others try to bring him down
So please don’t let him drown
He is so rare in the life we live
So keep him smiling he has so much to give
to you, his friends and everyone he knows
I would have done but travelling is the life I chose
Charrrr Jan 2019
They say I care too much and I’m far too nice
And yes this has got me hurt once or twice
But that still doesn’t mean that it’s such a bad thing
The people who quote line one, don’t see the tears they bring
I will try and try to do everything right
And it’s even okay if I cry sometimes at night
It’s all for a cause to help whoever needs
So I’ll put everything into doing good deeds
Who would I be if I didn’t even care?
At least people know that I’ll always be there

You know everyday I sit and overthink
About what others think of me, sometimes I forget to blink
So sometimes I break and I lose my mind
Because you won’t stop telling me I’m too ******* kind
There should be no ‘too’ about this
So I care about the feelings of hers or his
Like them I’m so tired and I hold all this in
Then sometimes I have this fear that I’m not destined to win
To win to my mind, to win against the pain
When I’m fighting my battles I’m made to feel ashamed

Yes, I care what you think of me
How could I not when you don’t allow me to be
Be myself and all of my flaws
Little do you know everyday is a war
Between my head and my heart between my light and my dark.
So I will not be named as being too ******* ‘good’
Don’t you think I’d be an ******* if I even could?
-Actually no. I don’t want that
No matter how many people called me ugly or fat
I managed to still like me and love who I am
And I will win this fight, I know that I can
I am stronger than you and I know
And I love myself from my head to my toes
Now I know I’m not funny and I don’t always smile
That’s just me and it has been for a while
But I’ll still be kind, selfless and exactly who I am
I won’t be changing for anyone, no woman or man
So hear me when I say that I am here for all of you
I will listen, love and care for what you do
It’s a tough world out there you know
And nice people are changing after being tossed to and throw
We’re all awkward as hell and feel out of place
So can we start changing things at a quicker ******* pace?
Stop with judgements and just let people be
Last time for those at the back, I will never stop being me.
This is my first ever poem, this is something I feel so passionately about. If you feel like maybe you get walked all over and you need to be harder or tougher, don’t let the world put your walls up, because it actually needs you to stay kind, caring and loving but most of all- strong and true to who you are

— The End —