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331 · Jul 2019
It's Hard
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
It’s hard.
It's hard to keep going
When everything is stopping you.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep pushing
When everything else is pulling you.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep loving
When no one else loves you.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep loving
When no one else loves me.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep living
When there’s nothing to live for.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep living
When there’s everything to die for.
Yet, there’s everything to live for.
238 · Jul 2019
Soleil, Lune, et Étoiles
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
Tu es mon soleil,
  Ma lune et toutes
Mes étoiles.

Yet you continually shatter my heart
Into a millions pieces
I loved you like it was my last wish
Yet you took me it granted
My love for you burned inside of me
Like a wildfire
Yet you continued to extinguish it
And still.
It burned
Loving you is like a tunnel
Eventually,
I will find the light
At the end.

Mon soleil
Ma lune
Et mes étoiles

Je t’aime avec tout mon coeur.
195 · Jul 2019
Black
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
Black joy is what I see
Black love is what I feel
Happiness. Bliss.
Man and woman
Man and man
Woman and woman
United in love
Black love
Is that gift from above
Oh, I love
Black love
It knows no hate
Its knows laughter, joy
And of course
Unconditional.
Love.
Black love.
192 · Jul 2019
He
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
He
He,
Undressed me with his eyes,
I softened him with mine.
He ran his hands down my spine,
I placed mine on his chest.
He craved my body,
I craved his heart.
He liked me.
I loved him.
187 · Jul 2019
Affection
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
Affection is what I crave;
Like the desert yearns for rain.
Your skin against mine.
Warm as the blushing red skies
The missing piece to the puzzle
Is. You.

Affection is what I need;
Like a heart needs a beat.
To live.
There’s a void that I feel.
A deep desire of nothing…
But. Want.
An abyss.
I’m falling into a nothingness.
A darkness.
A screaming silence.
152 · Nov 2019
Expectations
Jayda Smith Nov 2019
My expectations of you
Were for you to love me.
Genuinely. Unconditionally.
They were for you to protect me;
Instead you just overlooked me.
You ignored the signs.
You created your own reality.
Choosing to see what you wanted
Discarding the feelings unwanted.
You didn’t choose to be the saint.
Like you so desperately aspire to be.
You chose to be the sinner.
You chose to lie.
Manipulate,
Hate,
Hurt.

You started the generational discourse.
You were expected to teach love.
Instead you drilled hate,
Jealousy and strife.
Amid your own.
You’re the deceiver.
The devil.
The evil.
You aren’t my expectations.
You are my despair.

— The End —