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Jayda Smith Nov 2019
My expectations of you
Were for you to love me.
Genuinely. Unconditionally.
They were for you to protect me;
Instead you just overlooked me.
You ignored the signs.
You created your own reality.
Choosing to see what you wanted
Discarding the feelings unwanted.
You didn’t choose to be the saint.
Like you so desperately aspire to be.
You chose to be the sinner.
You chose to lie.

You started the generational discourse.
You were expected to teach love.
Instead you drilled hate,
Jealousy and strife.
Amid your own.
You’re the deceiver.
The devil.
The evil.
You aren’t my expectations.
You are my despair.
  Jul 2019 Jayda Smith
lead me on
then leave me
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
It’s hard.
It's hard to keep going
When everything is stopping you.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep pushing
When everything else is pulling you.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep loving
When no one else loves you.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep loving
When no one else loves me.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep living
When there’s nothing to live for.
It’s hard.
It’s hard to keep living
When there’s everything to die for.
Yet, there’s everything to live for.
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
Affection is what I crave;
Like the desert yearns for rain.
Your skin against mine.
Warm as the blushing red skies
The missing piece to the puzzle
Is. You.

Affection is what I need;
Like a heart needs a beat.
To live.
There’s a void that I feel.
A deep desire of nothing…
But. Want.
An abyss.
I’m falling into a nothingness.
A darkness.
A screaming silence.
Jayda Smith Jul 2019
Black joy is what I see
Black love is what I feel
Happiness. Bliss.
Man and woman
Man and man
Woman and woman
United in love
Black love
Is that gift from above
Oh, I love
Black love
It knows no hate
Its knows laughter, joy
And of course
Black love.
  Jul 2019 Jayda Smith
I’m so tired
But the second I lay down I remember
The drawer
It’s open
My sock
It’s missing
My mirror
It has a water spot
My face
I only washed it once
My ring
It’s out of place
Tired never wins
  Jul 2019 Jayda Smith
I will love you,
And I will love you hard
And deep.
And pure.

I will smile at you
With all of my love
When you laugh,
When you sing,
When you dance,
When you're kind.

And especially when you smile and cover your mouth when you're being shy.
But I know I will just look back with fond memories. At some point we will part ways, and any love that is was or will be between the two of us will become those memories we cherish well into our greys.
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