I loved memories,
They all seem
So close yet so far.
An other worldly
That’s still oddly sweet.
I hate those memories,
They rip open wounds.
They make the tears
Surface and flow
Hitting too close to home.
Why the question,
Facts never change.
Or do they.
Yet you hide
Enduring the pain.
Know the truth,
No need to live in vain.
It’s your choice,
To make it better
All yours to rearrange.
Open your eyes, look pass those blinds;
Pass the black and white. What do you see?
Take a step up, out into the clearing;
Follow the sunlight, dance with the wind.
Rest your weary heart and take a timeout
Let in some light, Give yourself a chance;
To believe to see something, in the rolling waves
Does it matter if God looks down at me
Let us be free, put your secrets in the open;
If there was God, maybe he’d set us free
Looking into your smokey eyes
Beneath your Fluffy coat;
There is a beautiful heart beating,
To the rhythm of my own
Stabilizing my lost and erratic one.
Sometimes I do wonder,
Did I give you a reason to love me;
Your gaze always fill with trust
As you looked to me for every answer,
It is not my choice to back down now.
Because when I chose you,
Picked you up amidst the litter
Looked you in the eye and saw love;
You were my hope
The savior to my sanity.
Even though you do not do much,
You might not even know my name,
But you do know my heart,
So I made you my world
Just cause neither of us believed
In happy endings
Does not mean we don't deserve one
Just cause you grew up knowing pain
So much better than love
Does not mean you shouldn't learn
Just cause life has not been fair
Or easy on you
Does not mean you should give up
Or am I wrong
Should we just give up
Just cause we're hurt
Just cause we were once broken
Should we allow them
Those things that broke us
To shape us
Or does that crucify you
Onto the cross of pain and torment
Living within the rumors
Crafted only to destroy you
Can one leave their skeletons buried
Smile and truly believe it
Even while dying a little everyday
People change just as time does
Lines and lines between
Secrets overlapping like waves
Crashing into the shore
Crashing into others life's
Conflicting decisions questions
Left unanswered abandoned
Over time we are forgotten
Our bodies left to float
Lonely across the ocean
In the middle of a hurricane
Stirring up chaos with our minds
In the middle of nowhere
Going north yet still never home
I don't know what to write anymore
I don't where to begin or if the end is near
I'm not okay, but I can't say
Everyone is so proud of me for "growing up"
I can't do anything to make it better
That would be immature and childish
I'm 21 turning 22 next year
They say it's great that I've grown out of it
That phase I was going through
That "drowning in my misery"
"acting out to seek attention" phase
Oh, how I wish, how I pray
Let that be just a phase
But if only that was true
I would not have to feel this way now