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Not sure what to do
What to say
How to act
With you around
Without you
The imagined need
The real want
The impossible battle
Between two lies
Two lives
Two choices
  Mar 9 Cazandra Leia Oh
Amanda
I have become an atrocity

Sure
It's possible I'm being ******* myself
But that's only because no one else ever is

There are people who criticize me
But only my actions
Not who I AM inside
They refuse to see the truth
Am I really home
What is home
What isn't
Familiarity estranged
Causes and excuses
Broken lies
Forgotten promises
We all never made
Who are they
Everyone just gawking
At everything and nothing
At where I stood still
Where is myself
Left her locked up
Right she isnt
Who is the writer
Behind this
Sordid
Distorted
Broken
Poem or prose
Who am I
What am I
Is it me or is it really
You
I am here but not
The existing that's extinct
Appearing while I disappear
Depressed but not
Living like the dead
What's your poison?
Love or hate
*** or drugs
Facts or dreams
Starvation or hunger
Madness or control
Innocence or sin

I dare you to ask yourself.

it could be anything
Or

E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G.
Cazandra Leia Oh Feb 2019
I loved memories,
They all seem
So close yet so far.
An other worldly
Excruciating pain,
That’s still oddly sweet.
I hate those memories,
Because now
They rip open wounds.
They make the tears
Surface and flow
Hitting too close to home.
Cazandra Leia Oh Jan 2019
Life *****?
Why the question,
Facts never change.
Or do they.
You understand;
Yet you hide
Enduring the pain.
Know the truth,
No need to live in vain.
It’s your choice,
To make it better
All yours to rearrange.
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