Simple words cut through my heart with their syllables.
They pound in my chest with their dreadful meaning.
Causing fear and shock to trickle throughout my body
The chemicals bind together to make the world stand still around me.
Bodies of others seem to float in the enclosure surrounding me, but I do not register that they are there.
Thoughts race through my head, but like me, they do not reach a destination.
Static fills the air around me, and tortures my ears with it's ringing.
It swirls around my head with the voice of my news.
Both noises chant together to become louder and louder until I want to scream.
Reaching my breaking point, my body becomes numb.
Oxygen doesn't seem to reach my lungs.
Waves of suffocation wash over me.
Forcing me to fall to my knees.
Feeling helpless, I sit on the floor in a crumbled mess.
Waiting for the days to pass, and the better times to come.
As I lay here, I allow the water to wash over me.
It caresses my skin with its delicate touch, as it laps against my body.
I let it flow through my finger tips, as my thoughts pour out of me.
I plunge myself down inside of it's depths.
Hoping that it will wash away my misery.
Praying that it will bring some clarity to my eyes.
My hair floats around me.
I watch the thick locks swirl around the pool.
I can feel it's slick form wrap around my frame in it's serenity, as my strength bids me goodbye.
One by one my muscles loosen with slack.
They allow the substance engulf my form in a hug.
It's arms are cold and smooth, as they envelope around me.
Without hesitation, the substance drags me deeper into it's inky briny.
As we travel further into the depths, my throat burns with thirst.
I allow the chilled liquid in with hopes that it will relieve my discomfort.
Bubbles explode from my mouth like silent screams.
I trail them with my eyes, and watch them run to the surface.
As I sink to the bottom, I take one last look at the crystal surface above me.
For once, I feel at peace with the world.
This rocky surface is my home until I have to face reality.
Autumn fills the air with its intoxicating scent.
The leaves dripping in bold colors fall around my figure.
I watch them as they carelessly drop from the sky.
I find myself becoming hypnotized with every drift and turn that they take until I am lost in my own memory.
Tall thick trees surround us and create a fairy tale like world.
The brown leaves crunch beneath our feet, as we scanvange the hidden forest together.
Brightly colored frons sway in the wind, and kiss our skin as we wade through them hand in hand.
Your voice rings through the air as you coax me to move faster.
You tug me along by my hand in an attempt to keep your pace.
My tiny legs struggle to keep up with your giant strides as we embark on our adventure.
In this forest, we turn into noble heros.
Our swords destroy anything that halts our paths.
The dry moldy trees quiver and crumble with our swift kicks.
Even with our all fun, we never seem to stray too far from our mission.
My young eyes study you carefully during our battles.
I attempt to memorize your every move.
Determination soars through my body, as I try to be as strong and as bold as you.
Quickly, I find myself distracted by the happiness that takes over my senses.
I can feel the laughter that bubbles in my chest.
It begs to be released, as I study the subject in front of me.
Your shaggy blond hair flops back and forth with every movement you make.
Your firece green eyes are filled with amusement.
A rare smile replaces your famous smirk, and is adorn by your deep set dimples
In this moment, your hard shell has crumbled from it's fittings.
Your raw self is exposed for the whole world to see.
My younger self greedily captured this memory.
She holds it tightly, and carried it where ever she goes.
It helps her when she feels as if she cannot carry on, and gives her hope.
The little girl passed this memory onto me when I got to older.
She knew it would be hard to watch my best friend slowly slip away.
The boy that I once embarked on adventures with is now gone.
He chose to walk down the darken trail, and has seem to gotten lost along the way
While stuck inside a time warp, he traded his soul for fake spirits and false happiness
Now all that remains of the best friend I used to know is a cold and empty shell.
Each day, I find myself missing the lost boy from our adventures more and more.
My choice of poison permits the world to fade.
Every sense inside of my body becomes dull and faint.
My lungs struggle to draw in air.
Each breathe falls short causing my chest to heave.
I can feel the bitter substance hurl my empty frame off of life’s edge.
My limbs are worthless as the stale air whips through my core.
They flail back and forth in the breeze throwing my perception of time farther away with each movement.
I am left wondering if there will be any warning before I reach my destination.
My surface hits the stone with an unsettling crack.
The asphalt kisses my flesh tauntingly.
The chill of the surface sends electrical currents through my body.
Its rough surface welcomes the warmth from my flesh.
Reality has finally sunk as low as I have in my cold abstract rock bottom.
I pray for someone to help me, and listen to my thoughts.
All my helpers repeat the same empty sentences.
“You will get better.”, or “ This is just a phase.”
Overwhelmed, I watch them as they walk the level above me.
Their eyes are focused on their own horizon.
Leaving me as empty as I was before.
Reminding me that I have been alone for many years.
The obstacle course in front of me seems daunting.
Its perfect blocks seem never ending.
Each flight curves in whatever direction it chooses.
As I begin my journey, I attempt to hide my emotions and fears from the other souls that are passing through, but
I fail miserably for they see me right through my veil.
The railing slips through my fingers as they shove me aside
My frame becomes bruised from being pushed and pulled in different directions.
Exhaustion latches it's arms around my legs in attempt to slow my journey.
Thoughts trickle through my head as I attempt to conquer the barrier in front of me.
They do not filter their words as they voice their opinions
Flowing with ease, they invade my personal space.
Will my happiness ever come back?
Is there going to be any memories that I am going to be able to share with my family?
Should I leave this cold world that lacks luster and light?
I shove them back, and attempt to shake the uneasy feeling they left in their wake.
I know that no pleading is going to turn back time.
Nothing will make my past easier.
As I trek through the rocky terrain, I promise to become brave, to let my voice be heard, to face my fears, and to love life the way that it is supposed to be.
"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."~J.K. Rowling.
Frozen cubes clink around my glass.
I swirl the container around the table top endlessly.
The dewy surface soothes my clammy hands.
Anxiety seizes my heart.
He squeezes it between his hands causing it to beat fiercely in my cavity.
Each beat rings in my ears
I glance around the room to see if anyone else hears the base of my drum.
Thoughts slide into my wooden booth.
Insecurities join him, and bind their hands together.
They bicker back and forth as the seconds pass.
The hostess voice guides me out of my personal world as she directs you to me.
Your presence fills the the room.
I slowly slide out of my seat to sneak a peak.
Time seems to stand still around us.
Butterflies flutter around my stomach.
I embrace the warmth from your smile, and greet you with my own.
Numbly, I shake your hand as I get lost in your coffee colored eyes.
My brain freezes, but captures the key points that occur in our enclosure.
From double green beans and wide eyes
To dry humor, sly winks, and bold fedoras
Our laughter and emotions dance with each other as our souls mingle.
We fit together like two lost puzzle pieces.
Little did we know this encounter would start our journey together.
Individual letters that collect together to form a distinct meaning of speech.
They flood from your mouth with no hesitation.
It seems as if you have no thoughts behind how they would impact me.
They collect around me like a pool of water.
I can feel the letters push and pull me in all directions.
Individual vowels threaten me with their tones and volumes.
As a whole, they stab me with their unfortunate denotation.
This puddle is muddled with my thoughts
I am left to wonder when we became so careless, and when we became so cruel to one another.
I sit here pondering, which part of our time together decided to crack and crumble at the seam.
I can feel my emotions threatening to spill over.
They are teetering on the edge of my makeshift ****
They scream at me making me feel powerless and weak.
I am sure that the disturbance is written on my face.
The moment seems to blur as I attempt to speak.
Terms flow out of me like a river with no ending and with no peace.
It aims to catch you in it's white water tides.
But the entirety of my speech, I fret about the holes that it will bore in you.
Yet in spite of all we have been through, it frustrates me that we do not hesitate to damage each other's walls with our harshness.
We do not feel in the wrong as we watch the each other's wounds seep.
We have lost the ability to pick each other off their feet.
The world feels empty due to the lack of empathy
An eeiry frightful peace.
How long will we walk around with our uncertainty?
Velvety colors dance in the sky covering the world with their rich shades.
The artic air kisses my skin as a gaze up at them.
Street lights illuminate my frame, but dull my picture.
Chatter surrounds me.
Individual strands of voices intertwine together filling the void inside of me.
I watch the souls that shuffle and pass on by.
Their shadows cast over me, and push me further into my wall
I embrace their energy and silently laugh at their jokes.
My soul joins their group, but plays from afar.
She smiles at them brightly, and boldly holds out her heart.
Together we bounce from group to group
Drawing in the courage to say what we please
Our spirits paint the night sky.
As time passes, the groups begin to thin.
The chatter becomes a dull lull
Signalling that the city has began to sleep.
My soul holds my hand as we continue to walk the empty street.
She drags her feet along the pavement.
I attempted to console her, but the loneliness is too deep.
Maybe tomorrow, someone will pluck our flower from the wall for all to see.