This is about a beanie that is not a beanie
It’s about a blue and black beanie that is not blue and black
This beanie belongs to a handsome Prince
The Prince of beanies  if you will

This particular Prince is perfect yet not perfect at all
He is tall but not as tall as the rest of them
Even though he is not as tall
He is even more handsome
And kind
And gentle

This Prince doesn’t have a name
In fact his name is Prince of Beanies
He would also be known as the Queen’s mistress
I know none of this makes sense
I suppose it’s not supposed to

You are a stranger
You do not understand my heart
You won’t
I don’t
I don’t understand how my heart only beats for him
I don’t quite understand why his hugs feel like a vacation
Like my salvation

Thank you for taking your time to read this
It’s a bunch of nonsense that I don’t understand
You are very kind to care
I thank you and bid you a goodnight
my sweet fellow
writer

Class ends soon.
I’ll see your face.
You’ll talk to me.
I’ll smile and hide how I feel.

You think we are okay.
You think I am okay.
You don’t know.
You don’t know the truth.

You don’t know how broke I feel right now.
You don’t know how I want to be alone all of the time.
You don’t know how I don’t want friends.
You don’t know how hard I try to be happy all of the time.

It seems the only time I can truly be myself is in Chinese.
No one can see my face.
No one looks at me.
No one talks to me.

Another second goes by.
Another minute.
Another hour.
Another anxious feeling to see you.

Lines drawn
Colors painted
Words printed
Ideas plastered out of thin air

Ideas are created
Ideas are bulletproof
Ideas deserve more appreciation
They deserve more love

They bring color into a word gone monochromatic
They taught us how to believe
They showed us that we can be more than we are
We are who we are meant to be

Thank you ideas

How did you do it
How did you get me to fall for you
Please don’t take offense
I just have to confess

It doesn’t help that you are handsome
It doesn’t help that you are sweet
How can someone be so flirtatious
And loyal at the same time

I see my forever in your eyes
Whether that is a second
A minute
Or years

You have opened up my heart to a feeling
I didn’t know I was capable of expressing
A feeling that I wasn’t allowing
Myself to feel

I am not sure what this feeling is
All I know is that I don’t want to lose it
No
I won’t lose it

I refuse to let this go
No matter what we go through
No matter how hard it gets
I will not leave you behind and I hope for the same

Now
I should not hope
Hope hurts us all in the end
Leaving us a pile of mess and heartache

Hope can also be the best thing to ever happen to us
If we hope, then we stay true
love
And we conquer

I love you my brown eyed Angel

Battle Scars
Everyone has them
Some people hide them,
Hide behind them,
Or show them to the world.
Some are visible.
Others are not.
They can be on
Wrists
Minds
Hearts
And
Skin.
Some are:
Black, purple, red, green, blue, pink.
Any color of the rainbow.
Some scars are DEEP,
Others shallow.
Sometimes
Your
Scars
Are
Other
People.
You must fight.
Show the world that your scars aren’t scary, ugly or worthless.
Show them that you have earned your
Tiger Stripes.
It doesn’t matter what the
WORLD
Thinks of you.
As long as you love yourself,
Then nothing,
And no one else
Matters.
Free yourself of these chains before it’s too late,
Because one day,
These scars could get to you.
Your thoughts could become overbearing.
You might feel like giving up.
Don’t.
Always Keep Fighting.
And
Always.
Always.
Show your Tiger Stripes.

I loved you
I loved you so much it hurt
Your words had such an impact you made me believe I was perfect.

Your soft touch
The way your hand engulfed mine
The way your hugs made me feel like I was floating.

The problem was your anger
Your short temper
Lack of patience.

The way you would grab my wrists
The glare from your piercing eyes
The words that left bruises on my heart.

I am conflicted
I want to hold you
I want to be by your side.

Even after the way you treated me
I know I’m wrong to feel this way
I know I shouldn’t feel like this.

The thought of you brings me anxiety
Yet seeing you in the hall brings me ease,
Until I remember those broken eyes of yours are my fault.

I can’t feel like this anymore
I’m sure you don’t feel remorse
Why should I feel like this when you are perfectly fine.

I shouldn’t have let you in
I should have kept my walls up
I should have been more protective of my oh so fragile heart.

I suppose the only thing left for me to say
Is how I hope you don’t treat anyone else this way
They might not be as passive.