A captive is what I think I shall be,
for Halloween this year—in 2023.
Burdened by the weight of other’s fear.
Trapped.
Sitting silenced in a cage full of expectations.
And rage.

Confined, bound.
No one around.

Who if not I, can release this relentless pressure?
Hopelessly, I await for the right partner—
To take my hand, help me stand.
And get my **** together.

To walk with me, out of captivity.
The place that haunts me.
How long must my sentence be?

Oh, how I yearn to be set free.
Take this wretched costume off.
Just. Be. Me.

Underneath it all,
I am a strong and capable woman.
I can walk out of this on my own!
Saunter about, like royalty
Onward to the throne.

Amen, I am captive no more.
For I chose the latter path,
After all, it suits me most admirably.

It is at my core, a crown can be found.
Seek and you shall see,
an exquisite Queen, standing her ground.
Not just on Halloween, but in actual reality.

Peace and love.
Love and peace.
True gems that can be found in our society.
Though they don’t always come naturally.
Personally, this may stem from a tumultuous childhood history.
Witnessing those near to me find love and then end up with love lost.
A dreaded cycle, that did come with a cost.

Yet these shadows won’t define my quest,
For self-discovery leads me to my best.  
I believe true love will find its way,
Even if it comes to me in a blind sway.  

For now, I will build my life with grace,
And wait for love to find its place.  
Until peace and love cease to be a fight,
And become my daily, guiding light.  

With patience and faith, I will embrace each day,
Knowing love and peace will someday find their way.


Cristin M. Wright

Hold... 2, 3, 4…
and breathe... 2, 3, 4…

I’ve been having nightmares lately.  
I wake and realize I’ve been holding my breath,
A weight settling heavy in my chest,
As if I'm suspended in a moment,
waiting for someone to come and save me.
To stimulate my breath, like a newly born baby placed on mom's chest.

Recently, that person to save me, is me.
A different kind of a responsibility.  
A kind of “safe place", very new to me.  
Almost seems a little like, insanity.  
Or should I really say, codependency?

I wonder if there is someone out there who wants to share the responsibility,
To take on the task of reducing my stress and enhancing my breath,
Until death, an eternal start.

Is it me that tears my intimate relationships apart?  
Until all I have for show are broken pieces?  
Should I wait to pursue love until the pain of my past eases?  

To wait would be to waste.
The boundless love I have, filled with grace.  
I would love to share this with another, post haste.

For love is the greatest gift on earth.  
I will not stand by while it becomes suppressed.
A generational curse.  
Everyone deserves to love and be loved in return.  
God is love, and with Godly love, one cannot be burned.  

And as I maintain my breathe in the hope of the good to come next,
I release the past—the shadows that suppress,
so much of the confidence I have left.

I choose to believe in and embrace the warmth of love that with patience, will take shape.
For in every breath, a promise awaits.
Purified and reborn in Christ.
He is worth every sacrifice.

For God's word is like a lamp at my feet, my path is made clear.  
Not only will I survive but I will have no fear.
My divine destiny is near.


Cristin M. Wright