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Jonas Sep 2023
dew
It's junce again,
and I can't remember the last time my smile was forced
or my eyes were empty staring blankly into nothingness.

AsI point my face to the sun and my nose into the wind.

Depression is a faint memory.
Winter is ages ago, ages away.


But it will be back,
and it will make me remember.
First slowly and then all at once.
Jonas Sep 2023
What is it about freckles
about cute cuts and tops,
about sunflowers and pastel colours?

Green, blue, brown, yellow and grey
and everything in between
staring into your eyes, mesmerized

What about shapes and curves?
Up, down, in and out
you caught my attention
in a net of your facets

What is it about your scent, your expressions
your smile, your laugh
that makes me chase you?
Act fool

I keep replaying our moments together
when we aren't
together
chasing you in my mind
Until next time

What is this magic
that makes me ignore all my principles
risk my safety, my freedom
for nothng but a possibility
mere chance?

Let's find out, let it play out

I'm doomed but that's okay
if only I can be near you again
Lay down in your arms,
at least for a little while.
Jonas Aug 2023
Who is
he?
Who is
she?

A story of
him
A story of
her

stuck
in limbo.
Jonas Aug 2023
Flashing lights and neon sings
You're wearing horns líke a halo above your head
and spread out in ink,
are wings across your back.

Your hips are moving, lips are blooming in crimson red.
Leaving your scent behind like a tail
a silver thread, a lost shoe
an open invitation for someone who might want to follow,
might want to fall for you.

Smoke in the air blending in with the collected noise,
muffled laughter,
shouting of countless people in a single voice.

The night air is filling your lungs,
rain drops down your hair, down your cheeks
hiding your tears til the morning comes.

Your shirt is getting wet ,you can feel it on your skin
Life's soaking through,
tonight you'll be dancing amongst your kin.

Music is playing aloud, the bass is resonating in your bones
You're vibing,
it's waking up your body, your soul, drowning out your thoughts,
Don't think, just move and feel
let your instincts take over,
finally you can bring your worries to heel.

Roaming through a maze of dim rooms,
clutching your drink you stumble, you wander.
Till you find someone to hold on to for the night
skin on skin,
There will be plenty of time left later,
to reflect and ponder.

Here looks and lips get locked
in an active, meaningless exchange
Their fingernails caressing the back of your neck
you close your eyes, surrender, let go of control,
Can you feel it?
The spectrum layed out in front of you?
Your full emotional range

Hello,
nice to meet you, nice to have met
good night, good morning,
It's time to lay down now, let's head to bed.

Now that the night is gone by,
it was over before I knew,
time is up,
tomorrow I might still smell of you.
Jonas Aug 2023
What is success
and why would I want to chase it?
Worship it like a god,
make it the ultimate goal to structue your life around
They make it seem like you're supposed to

I'm not successfull
Or at least I don't feel like I am
or it's that big of a deal

I don't reall celebrating my achievements,
I don't feel them as strongly as I should
I think
I play them down, dont broadcast them as openly
Maybe I should

I made it happen
with help, luck and being stubborn
I got the flat, the job, the girl,
I got sick but I got better again
I tried, rested and tried again

Hopefully it's gonna makes me better
at this living thing
I keep working on pushing my bouandries,
gaining experience and wisdom
opening up more, meeting people

Growing and growing up used to mean
being more self sufficent, self assured, more responsible,
Now it means finding back,
being more childlike again,
protecting your innocence, your personal time and space
It's a dynamic process

It seems the goal doesn't matter as much as getting there does
All the things I thought I needed to progress,
that seemed so important
lost meaning as soon as I got to them.
Just another door, another step
And I struggled so hard to get to them.
I failed and tried again,
slowly but steadily
growing
up

What is success really?
Jonas Aug 2023
I have a natural talent for causing chaos,
causing mayhem
A masters degree in clumsiness,
Been practicing it my hole life really

All those white shirts stained
right after the first bite
Eating my meals next to the plate,
glass shards shattered on the floor
Freshly opend cans filled to the rim flooding over
The sock that fell into the tea
The locked doors and forgotten details,
tokens, mementos left behind

Corners and doors hugging me tight on my way out,
a quick stabbing pain,
it's pull not push
Appointments lost cause I got it wrong,
wrong time, wrong place
the ungathering

Even more so when I'm tired or put on the spot
the chaos of first meetings, first dates spilling out into the world

Arrogance is not an option
for me
luckily,
this disposition of mine
keeps me sane, keeps me humble

It grounds me
this constant pull of gravity.
Jonas Aug 2023
What a funy description
of walking the edge

waiting for the fall
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