I wish I was away from you,
Wish I was stronger than you
I wish I never depended on you.
But most of all,
I wish I never needed you.

It takes only a small while to lose a moment
Or create one.
A minute or few,
A second
A breath
Is all it takes to lose that moment.
To lose everything you worked for
That kiss, that stare, that talk
It should have meant something because you had a moment there.
For a moment,
You connected.

You were the first person I ever felt something for.
I felt happy,
Felt loved,
Well almost.
But by the end I figured out that you could never love me,
And no one else can.
You ruined me for anyone else,
You ruined my trust,
Burned up my chest,
And now my heart hurts.

My memories take over my mind.
They torture me like depression,
Eating me alive.
Why can't I get away from these memories?
Why can't I just let it slide?
Why can't I stop the flashbacks?
Flashbacks that keep eating me alive.
I want it all to disappear inside a box
A box that I will never open again,
And maybe then I'll finally win.

It's never gone anywhere,
In fact it's everywhere.
Deep down,
If you look hard enough,
It lingers inside her head,
The feeling of rejection.
She's consumed with so much dread
That it follows her like the color red
She tries to hide it,
Not wanting anyone to come near.
She may not want you here,
You're her greatest fear.

She said I love you
But that was only once
She never said it to me again
And so I never experienced love again
I didn't know what it was anymore
Her love became invisible at all angles
She needed to hurt me to show how much she cared
Her love became something to keep me in line
She began to control me
The light dulled continually in my eyes
Tension crawled all over my body
The bags under my eyes got deeper
They turned darker as my eyes swelled up
Eyes that couldn't open since she kept me black and blue
Saying I would never change
Telling me that I'm no good
Saying I'll never be like you
But truth be told,
I never wanted to be you
In fact, I want nothing to do with you.
Love is not abuse

It's okay really it is,
Or maybe it isn't.
As you point out all my flaws especially in my **** face.
You pull at my cheeks and my chubby chin,
I really just hate it.
I don't care if you say that my chubby cheeks are cute,
Because it's not,
They're ugly.
And what gives you the right to point out my **** acne to me every single day.
Should I point out your bad skin?
And how it looks freakish in certain areas.
Don't even think about judging me on the way I eat.
Take a good look at your own self,
Cause I sure as hell know all my insecurities.
Do you even know yours?
Or do you want me to point them out for you every single day like you do mines?
Be careful about what you say on regards to my own body,
Because remember I've seen yours too.