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Raj Agrawal Feb 2
watch the water crash,
the wave slowly crawling up to the tips of your toes,
begging for it just stop,
slow down,

wanting to turn around,
run away from the drips of crystal
but you're froze.

Muscles fight your thoughts,
a civil war within your shaking body,
grasped by the deep tremors.

The pain is just temporary,
but there's nothing more scary.

Water rises higher and higher,
your desperate thoughts turn to
screams.

why even try,
nothing can stop the persistent tide.

you just have to watch,
as it consumes you whole,
poisoning you from the bottom
slowing rising all the way to the shadows in your head.

You did all you could,
besides run.

which you've refused to do.
Raj Agrawal Jan 24
drip

the face in the reflection is unrecognizable
despite the seemingly crystal liquid,
all your mind can think is:
*****.

drip

the apathy burns like a wildfire in his eyes
the anger casts a shadow,
encompassing the whole image like a cloak of darkness.

drip

you want nothing more than to understand,
how could this have happened

why.

drip

can the image be cleaned?
shimmering happiness replace the apathy,
empathy shine through the eyes like moonlight.

you reach out to lift back the cloak,

splash.
Raj Agrawal Jan 23
Throw ourselves into darkness,
Trust that we'll end up in the light,

In a land,
where blood from the bullet holes in our head turn to confetti,
and faded smiles are replaced with a temporary burst of joy.

Into the Rabbit Hole we go,
another escape, a way out,
even if we know it won't last.

Our wildest fantasies turn to reality and
reality fades to nothing but a dream.

Our scars dissipate,
replaced with sparkling images of strength,

Our fears morph into our best friends.

You reach a new level of euphoria,
a new form of happiness,
never before experienced.

It can't end,
you won't let it,

just let go,
Wonderland can last Forever.
  Jan 16 Raj Agrawal
Ariana Bagley
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.
Raj Agrawal Jan 16
There’s nothing left worth fighting for,
Lower your ****** fists,
Scraped and scratched over nothing but a thought,

Admit it’s all for nothing
Just let it go,
JUST BREATHE.

But you still choke,
Nothing but air fills your throat and lungs,
The air slowly piles out and your lung collapses,
Your heart is the next to follow,

Crushed,
Beaten,
Empty,

You think you’re close to the end,
To winning,
To letting it all go,

But as your eyes pan up,
You see the brick wall in front of you,
Not a single chip in it.
done.
Raj Agrawal Jan 16
no one knows
Of the demons that plague your mind
Taking a strong grasp over you every day
Stripping you of your happiness and using it to simply grow stronger.

No one knows
that you hide behind a smile,
a normalized sense of humor that just screams
“Everything is OK, I’m OK”.

No One knows
that you’ve lost who you are and
the search to find him is like searching for a fish in an ever-expanding ocean.
You don’t want to be yourself,
You want to be changed, someone else.
You want to beat yourself,
You want to be beaten, bruised,
to prove for once you’re not weak,  
because that’s all the demons scream in your head.
“You’re Not Good Enough”

No One Knows
All you want is a way out,
A way to escape this labyrinth,
But the pain from searching for a way out only gets worse
With each passing day.
And as you search, the demons chase you down,
You yell at them, “Just Let Me Be Happy”, and they say back: “but,
you created us.”

NO ONE KNOWS,
NO ONE ******* KNOWS.
because they can’t.
Raj Agrawal Jan 16
Who decides what’s right and what’s wrong?
How do we distinguish what to do in a tough situation?
Morality?
Logic?
Heart?
Brain?

Overwhelmed as our brain floods with water,
Mixing the black and white
Into a gray,
We can’t find the answer
Because there simply is no answer.

Everything is just gray.

We blindly choose,
Hoping for the best,
But little to our knowledge,
Based of this choice
A ripple begins,
And slowly spreads through the pond of our life,

Simply growing larger
And larger
Spreading further
And further,
An unstoppable force,
Continually altering,
more and more

Until the whole pond becomes
Gray.
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