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BrooklynMae Nov 2018
It's been real
It's been fun

But it hasn't been real fun

Please get up
Please get out
Please don't slam the door
Or shout

You were great
The *** was great

But it's time for work
And you're gonna be late

I need to relax
In my bed alone

Thanks for staying
But you should've gone home

I don't know what you thought this was
But I think I may have misspoke because

Last night was cool
And I'm glad you came
But now that it's over
I've forgotten your name
BrooklynMae Oct 2018
Quiet
I'm laying in bed
Trying to sleep

No

Trying to find the silence that my mind won't grant me
Trying to find the peace of mind that will let me close me eyes
Trying to stop thinking
     All the terrible things I just love to think about

I can't
For my mind hates me
It tries to destroy me on a daily basis

I have no control over the thoughts that run by
The theories that develop
Or the horrors that I can't seem to forget

My mind tells me I am doomed for eternity
****** to hell for the things I've done

Although my mind isn't convinced that there is a god
Not yet
We're still working on it

When I try to tell myself that
Everything is going to be OK
My mind laughs
And begins to brainstorm

The storm is an uncontrollable
Thrashing of terror
Of nightmares and scared

My mind never stops the torment
Never ceases to amaze
Never stops to think about me

Me

I'm back in the dark again
My mind flashes back to where I am
I can't seem to figure out what I am supposed to be doing

Nothing new

My mind can be distraction sometimes
BrooklynMae Oct 2018
I part of me died
One year ago today
When you left this earth

365 days later
And I’m left wondering
What role you played in my story

I used to question
Where I went wrong
But not today

Today I question
Where our stars aligned
And how it has helped me grow
BrooklynMae Jun 2018
He’s jealous of the way I fall sleep so fast but I can’t help it.
It’s something about the way I feel when I’m in his arms.

When he holds me I’m able to release my grasp on reality and finally sink into serenity.

When I look into his eyes I feel cared for in a way no one else would understand.

When I taste his smile I know that true happiness comes from within but is radiated through those around us.

When he traces my skin with his fingers I wonder what new discovery he is going to make. He’s always looking for a way to learn more about me. About my body. How I feel. Inside and out.

When he breathes I hope that he is going to say my name again. He rarely does. But I like it that way.
BrooklynMae Jan 2018
Everyone focuses on the goodbyes
The end of the journey

But I feel the hellos
Have so much more to offer
BrooklynMae Sep 2017
I'm sorry that you had to go
I'm sorry you couldn't stay
I'm sorry that you felt the need
To really get away

I'm sorry you felt so lonely
Like no one else was there
I'm sorry you thought this world was empty
And no one really cared

I'm sorry you couldn't see the light
And understand how much you were loved
I'm sorry you had to go
And view it from above

I'm sorry that your family lost
Their precious and beloved boy
You brought them so much happiness
The classic pride and joy

I'm sorry that you didn't reach out
On that oh so fateful night
I'm sorry you couldn't muster the strength
When you weren't feeling right

But I'm not sorry about what happened
Because that was all your choice
No I'm not sorry, not a little bit
You listened to the voice

And I'm not sorry that we met
I'm not sorry that I cared
I'm not sorry that I went to you
When I was feeling scared

I'm not sorry that we were friends
I'm not sorry I called you my bro
But I'm sorry you couldn't stay
And I'm sorry you had to go
BrooklynMae Sep 2017
When someone takes their life they leave behind more than just shaken worlds and teary eyes.
There's the questions, the theories, the regrets and the blame.
But with that missing piece, the picture can't be the same.

They tell us to move on,
Give it up, Let it go.
But there's no way to forget because I will always want to know.

I am always going to question you and wonder, just what it was exactly,
That made you think the world better without you.
What made you think you had the answers - all matter of ******* factly.

I want to know if you thought of me
Before you pulled the trigger.
Could your brain get past blur
Past the effects of your liquor?

I've considered the possibilities
I've thought about the doubt
But I know this world was better with you in it
And it's worse off without.

I see the devastation that you left behind.
The hearts and minds you've crushed
And you were in a hurry to escape it all
But what really was the rush?

I don't believe this was your goal
Causing this hurt and this pain
But I don't think you had stopped to think it out
And now we are all left to finish the game.

You didn't leave behind a note
Or an answer to be heard
You left without saying goodbye
Leaving me the final word

You went and killed yourself last spring
The days recall so clear
I wonder if I'll ever forget
Or if I am doomed to live in fear

I can't put the pieces together
I can't clarify the tale
I don't think I'll ever be the same
You set me up to fail

Yes I know it's not my fault
You went and chose to die
But no matter how hard I try to blame you
I will never truly understand why.
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