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I could say when it started; I could feign confidence in this place, in the hour. The truth is, I could sail on the rolling tides of time and I'd still yet never move in a straight line. That's how it's always been - like a clock that lags a split second longer on even numbers, and pauses to scrutinize the odd. Like standing in a crowd, waving to a friend you don't remember meeting. Reading words that make no sense to anyone but their writer, or knowing those words are your own; my own. Words where meaning has been lost, a dying light I never got the chance to experience. One day, I will experience it.
And to speak of glacial pace; a moment to rest, but unsparing to change.
I have yet to leave, so I'll stay.
Deathless, she roars
"Undo this fire"
And so shall it be undone
Quenched, like thirst
For the rich
And for the bold
A wave's crest falling
Unfolding natural contrasts

Deathless, she was
Until deathless she was not
I framed my soul in wire
Gnarled as I am
With sharpened points and
Barbs all around

So don't approach me
Or I'll love you
And you'll feel every needle
Puncture through you too

And I don't think it's worth it
Or maybe it is
Because I've felt that pain
So many times myself

So what's my purpose?
What's my journey here?
My soul is framed in wire
Am I'm punishing myself?

Will you tell me the truth?
What will I tell my soul?
For I know it's all wrong
And acceptance is valuable
I am woodrot on the tree of life, and flames where new growth attempts its bloom.

I am the thunder warning of lightning upon the deaf.

I am ink.

I am starvation of the mind, of the heart.

I am a bone to the wolves and coyotes, I am a blanket of dew.

I am coldness and I am ember, dark but only until the touch. A kiss, a blessing, an ending.

I am death, and I am nothing.
As if looking direct upon gilded summer rays, she blinded my every sense. For after one glance upon her blue-grey eyes, the world became ephemeral, and every breath felt ethereal.  It was as if history melted away, and every book, every photo ever taken, told a story of whatever led to this moment. Chaos. Fate. Anxiety and courage. I don't know. But just as soon, time showed its transcurrent ways, and she had left. Minutes passed, hours passed, eons aged every pore, but I had just arrived. I gazed upon heaven and got lost in the garden of eden, and now, falling back to my seat, I watched every memory I never had walk, just feet away. She is gone now, and as dreams pass in sleep, sometimes too, do dreams pass in wake. I sit frozen.
Every moment I hold where
My core, my heart is in agony
I realize how young I am
How much there is to learn
To cope, to weather storms
To spark fires and chase
New growth with new soil
Every paper cut is a stitch
And we're never old until
Tomorrow comes
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