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Bodowzski Sep 2017
I want to Salsa with your angel,
and tango with your devil.
I want to read your every thought
Like it is my favourite book.

But I am a dyslexic with two left feet.
Bodowzski Sep 2017
You were the ghost of my past.
Apparition of you have always haunted me.
Only this time, I want you to haunt me for life.
Your bangles clanking in my ears, your laughter echoing in my heart.
You etched your name on my rib with your fingernails.
Your smile keeps me awake at night.
I can't see the bright side, so you sat with me in the dark.
Whiffs of your fragrance, at every corner of my cell.
Your chilly breaths down my neck, warmed my frozen soul up.
I never knew I had that much passion left in me till I look you dead in the eye.
If this is a nightmare, never ever wake me up.
Bodowzski Aug 2017
Why me?

"Because I Iove you."

Why do you test me?

"Because you are strong."

It hurts.

"Have faith."

Do you really love me?

"Trust me."

Will the pain go away?

"Yes, because I am all- knowing."

When?

"Soon."

Promise?

"I deliver all my promises."

Why do I have to go through all this?

"She's why."

Who's she?

"The one I picked for you."

Is she good for me?

"Perfect."
Bodowzski Aug 2017
His hair unkempt, legs filled with cuts and bruises.
Arms sore, palms covered in calluses and blisters.
Dragging his feet carelessly, skateboard in hand.
Mouth so dry, his tongue feels like a pit of sand.
His boyish face tells tales of definite disappointment.
Eyes fixated on the broken concrete pavement.
Waves of dejection lapping on the shores of his heart.
For a start, he wants to punch the mailbox hard,
Scream at the world till his rigid lungs give out.
The sky is overcast, sun hidden by gloomy clouds.
Droplets of rain pitter- pattered on the ground.
He sat in a dark alley, he didn't want to be found.
And he cried. Bawled his eyes out, cause it hurts.
His face wet from tears and rain, wiped it with his shirt.
He tries to stand, but falls again.
So he quits.
His ears caught whispers of splashes and he saw a pair of feet.
A hand reaches out, and he looks up real quick.
He is gazing upon a face so beautiful, so angelic.
She smiled and it was like sunshine in the storm.
It was dazzling, comforting, above all, it was warm.
He grabs her hand, my God, it is smooth and soft.
She pulls him up onto his feet, and whips out a piece of cloth.
Cleans the dirt and blood, and throws it into a drain.
He stares at her, and for what seems like an eternity,
they stand there together in the rain.
Bodowzski Aug 2017
After the putrid stench of heartbreak,
You are a breath of fresh air.
The aroma of freshly baked pastries at a country fair.

The smell of daisies in summer.
The melody of the nightingale on my windowsill.
The beauty of a field filled with tulips and daffodils.

The perfection of a Renaissance painting.
The cooling mid autumn breeze against my cheeks.
The change I needed, you are the change that I seek.

Darling,
Your smile is His work of art.
You reason with the demons in my heart.
You fixed my broken soul.
You sooth the madness in my head.
Jealousy incarnate, I wanted you for myself.
Bared my rawest emotions, I showed you my hell.
You took my hand, and
sat next to me in the burning cesspool.
I said nothing, but I couldn't be more grateful.

Darling, thank you.
Bodowzski Jul 2017
I am settling rather nicely in the darkness.
Graveyard of shattered hopes and dreams.
I get off on the shouts and screams,
Of anguish and despair.
I thrive on the sufferings of others and mine.
Dine on the fears that lurk in the crevices of minds.
Light blinds my eyes so I creep in the shadows
Of my own ******* tombstone,
Where salvation is unknown,
But somehow, it feels familiar, like home.
Demons of past passed me by every second.
But a second is a lifetime long.
Do I seek redemption? Do I want redemption?
Shall I claw aimlessly at the false persona of hope?
I know that my lifeline's gone.
Walking amongst broken spirits,
As I am them.
Condemned.
Barely alive. Am I? Alive?
I suffocate myself so I know I still breathe.
Press on the wounds that hurt so I know I still live.
But I am settling perfectly in the darkness.
Where fear cowers and the devil shudders.
Bodowzski Jul 2017
I've been doing lotsa reflections, now that's all I see.
Reflection of you in every window, in every still water.
So I took my knife out, stabbed your neck times 43.
But I'm not guilt- free, I still cry each time it's over.
I suppressed my conscience, as the devil laughed heartily.
With a cane in hand, twirling, tap dancing on my shoulder.
The angel is all quiet cause she is bound and gagged.
My system is down, cause this angel deserved to die.
Covered in dirt, blood, her body is found and bagged.
I cannot lie, but I'm glad that she can no longer fly.
**** colours, cause the world is just brown and black.
I begged the devil to plunge his pitchfork into my eyes.
I hear better than Murdoch now, even when that pin drops.
I hear the demons singing in my heart, acapella hiphop.
Symphony echoing off the emptiness of my chest.
Succubus ****** my happiness, I'm feeling lifeless
In a sea of despair, I'm just floating on my life-vest.
So with the same knife that I stabbed you, I stabbed me.
4 times in the lungs, so air rushed out, blood rushed in.
3 in the abdomen, slashed an artery, so I'm bleeding badly.
Asphyxiating in my own **** blood, I began gaspin'.



I can't believe, in my final moments,
with my eyes blind, it's still you that I see.

****.
I'm not actually suicidal.
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