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Blckstr 2d
Stop saying you love me
or telling me
I'm the only man
you've ever loved.
Stop holding my hand
while standing
on the edge of a cliff
and whispering
that you're falling for me
every time
you look at my eyes.
Don't even tell me
you can jump off the clouds
and swim the vast, dark sky
just to find me
whenever I'm losing
my own self.

Instead,
write me poems,
much like how
I've written hundreds for you.
Make me poetry.
Let me be the subject
and imagery of your words.
Write my name
within the stanzas
and lines of your pieces.
Mark your kisses
between a simile
and a hyperbole.
Love me like you can build
a library
inside your heart.
Scribble my existence
like an everlasting art.

Darling, love me poetically.
Let me turn into a poetry.
Let me turn into your poetry,
like how you've become one.
Blckstr 5d
Sometimes, I want
to be broken with someone –
someone I can be with
as I watch every single star
pass out in the night sky.
I want someone
I can share my sadness with
as she shares hers.
I want to be alone with someone –
someone I can be lonely with
as I wait for the sun
to set by the sea,
romanticizing every
broken memory
that still stays
in my heart.
I know that my heart
has already been broken,
but I would love
to be much more broken,
knowing that there's someone
who's been broken as I am.
I would love
to hear someone say,
"Let's break ourselves
until we can't be broken anymore."
"Let's break ourselves
until no one
would no longer dare
to break us
into smallest
and weakest
version of ourselves."
It's quite crazy
to want something like this;
but I would definitely love
to have someone
I can show how broken I am –
someone I can be lonely with –
someone I can be  broken with,
as we both feel
the beat of brokenness
and emptiness,
but would not dare
to complete each other;
because sometimes,
brokenness
and emptiness
can make us feel whole.
Blckstr 7d
Please stop
burying your heart
in the graveyard
of a melancholic art –
depicting an image
of a burning sky.
Stop the turmoil
of your shaking ground.
You’re not bound
to suffer in the depths
of your own haunted sound.
It’s not a notable music to keep.
You don’t have to weep
as you watch
your flowers wither
one after another.
Darling, plant new ones
or let the stars
bloom in your garden.
You don’t have to meander
through the valley
of melancholy
just to let every single night
pass by –
as if you’re living
just to survive.
Darling, that is not how life
should be lived.
You don’t have to lie
on your bed all day,
making yourself believe
that you’re a sobbing corpse
inside your coffin.
Darling, you’re alive,
and if you’re telling me
that you’re long dead,
let your eyes
wander the night sky.
Maybe along the constellations
of a thousand stars,
you’ll find life –
you’ll find your life;
because darling, I did,
and now,  I’m trying to revive mine.
Blckstr Jan 15
I am a mellow song
that’s used to silently hiding
somewhere between
the lines of a tragic poetry;
but sometimes,
I become a messed up sound,
and all of the serene rhythms
of my metaphors
get thunderous
and clangorous;
because sometimes,
my fear and my own horrible phantasm
get fused and turn into a deafening music
or a destructive earthquake
that even I can’t handle by myself.
All of the horrible heat
from the deepest part
of my heart
gets rising until
it comes out of my mouth.
I shout loud
at the solemn sky,
but sometimes at people.
This is where I hurt people.
Sometimes, everyone
reminds me of the ghosts
that haunt me every night,
so the sharpest words
slip out of my tongue
like a magma
that turns into lava
and wounds others’ hearts.
My own heart
shakes until it creates
a tragedy
or a catastrophe
for everybody.
Sometimes, everyone
reminds me of the death-like voices
that keep reverberating in my head,
and keep making me feel dead,
so I can’t stop myself hurting them
just to make me feel relieved.
I forget that my own emotional eruption
is a dangerous destruction.

To everyone
I have ever encountered in my life,
I’m sorry if I ever did hurt you
when I was breaking inside.
Blckstr Jan 13
I once found
the most devastating storm
inside my head.
My thoughts were flooded
by murky memories
I could never forget.
I was drowned;
and it felt like
not even a single person
was there for me –
to save me
from drowning,
so I just let and kept
myself sinking
in the deepest depth,
giving up
and not trying my best
to survive.
“I’ve never been alive, anyway,”
words I inscribed in my heart.
I let the cold shadows
of loneliness outrage within me.
I drowned my own self;
And then, I found someone
who sought for help,
drowned by her thoughts,
fighting with her ghosts,
dissociating herself
from the storm
that kept her suffering.
We were both underwater,
barely breathing,
both drowning;
but she kept on fighting
While I already gave up.
That was the moment
I realized that the storm
I used to call so
turned into the person
I had been.
“I myself was the storm
that drowned me intensely.”
Thanks to that someone
I met in the same water
I had had drowned in.
She made me realize one thing.
“Some are dying to live.
Why am I even living to die?”
And thanks to her
because I had realized
that we could not survive
if we would not do
something for own survival.
Everybody can help us,
but we are the only ones
who can save ourselves
from our own storm,
especially if the storm is us.
Blckstr Dec 2018
Maybe I should start
Ending everything,
So I can evade the snare
Of pain and suffering.
Maybe it's time to stop
The late night cries,
The ifs and whys,
And all the disappointments
I hear from everyone's voice.
Maybe I myself am the noise
I create on my own,
That's why I've been hearing
My whole existence
Like a sound of complete mess.
I've been so stuck
In the weak personality
I don't have to have,
Like a poor photography
I have pathetically loved.
At this moment,
I am not the person
I have ever wanted to be
So maybe...
I should start
Killing myself to be born again.
And maybe...
Now is the time to lose myself
And start destroying the shelf
I used to hide inside.
I am trapped in a world
Where I can't find a word
To release the best of Me.
Maybe I have to be lost
In the universe
To find the brightest star
I can be.
Maybe I have to end my story
To start a new one.
It's time to **** the character
I used to play,
Because maybe
I have to lose myself
To find the better Me.
Blckstr Dec 2018
I want you to love me
The same way I love you.
I want you to feel the heat
While staring at me so fervently,
The explosion of your heart
Each moment our eyes meet,
The avalanche of your tears
Every time you see me
Kissing somebody else.

I want you to love me
Like you can drink a poison
Just to show your fidelity,
Like you can behead yourself
Just to prove that I'm the only one
You are thinking about,
Like you can pull your heart
Out of your chest
Just to show that it's the best
And most precious treasure I own.

I want you to love me
Like you can burn yourself in fire
To show how ardent your love is,
Like your ablaze desire
Makes you want to kiss
And hug me hardly and tightly
That you lose your breath literally.

I want you to love me
Like you want to drown in ocean,
Like you want to stab yourself
A hundred times until you run
Out of blood and life.
I want you to **** yourself
Just to prove your love to me.

I want you to love me.
I want you to feel
How hard it is to feel this love.
I want you to know
How it feels to feel the love
And hate at the same time.
I want you to feel
The pain I've been feeling right now.
I want you to feel
That loving you kills me every day,
And yet I'm still loving this way.
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