Blckstr Oct 4
Stop the beating of my heart.
End my life and let everything
Be forgotten like a fossil in an ocean.
Cease me from living.
Bar me from breathing.

**** me!
****** a thousand nails into my chest,
Slit my rasping throat, cut my trembling wrist
And let my blood drip on the floor
Until it forms a sea, enough
For my horrible childhood reminiscences
To drown and walk off the shore,
Where I am the fragments of sand,
Trying to create a stone
Just to be whole, firm, and strong.

**** me!
Pour a hundred-gallon of water into my mouth
And let my pain evade and flow out
Of my suffocated body.
Maybe then I can finally say
"I'm fine"
Without trying to extend
My hand above water
Or trying to breathe bit by bit
While my lungs load a river.

**** me!
Pull my eyes out, so I won't feel my tears anymore.
Slice my ears, so I won't hear myself again yowling in mourn.
Break my legs, so I can finally stop myself
From jumping on a deep water like a ****** whelp.
Hook my heart out of my chest.
Bludgeon my head to death.
Maybe then, I won't feel for once
Like I'm a canary underneath
The undertow of an ocean,
Wings ripped off and flight unfound.

**** me
Because I can hardly breathe.
I'm drowning in the thought of being sad
While losing the reason to feel so.
Every day, anxiety drags me to my bed,
But insomnia has this silly prank of hammering my head.
I try to ask anyone for help,
But whenever I see people in my surroundings
All I feel is like eternally drowning.
They make me feel like a terrestrial flower,
Trying to breathe underwater.

Every night, I write poems,
Not to **** boredom
But to **** something that kills me -
Ceaselessly.
Every letter I write on a paper
Feels like the water
Inside an aquarium where
I keep on suffering
And drowning forever.

I'm in the abyssal zone,
Too deep that even light can't *******.
Darkness engulfs me,
And light easily burns me
Take me from this depth.
Take me from this kind of death.
This depth makes me lose my breath.

**** me
Because living already feels like dying.
**** me
Not becase I'm tired of living,
But because I'm tired of dying!
**** me
Because it's suffocating.
It's asphyxiating me.
This darkness makes me
Hardly see
Myself.
It feels like I'm dying forever,
And I don't want to die anymore,
I'm drowning.
I can never reach the shore.
Save me!
Blckstr Sep 5
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m ****** –”
I know it sounds ******,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
Blckstr Sep 5
Not yet, little canary!
The world is too dark for you;
Spread not your golden wings;
You’ll break them if you do.

Not yet, little canary!
Lay still on your hidden nest,
The hunters are still watching;
You must stay still and just rest.

Not yet, little canary!
Chirp not a single sound,
Sing not your frail heart out,
Your sole life will be shot down.

Danger is in the woods;
Stray not out of the woods;
Fly not, little canary!
Not yet, little canary!
  Aug 31 Blckstr
Leviathan Andrew
If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
Blckstr Jul 21
Love is not a piece of writing
that comes from a heart;
It is not a flowerful verse;
It is a flowerless vase
that holds no decoration,
no rhythmical motion,
no verbose potion;
Love is not a poem.
It does not bear a stanza
full of melodic metaphors
that attract the cores
of one’s eyes and ears,
because love has no rhymes
that make two heartbeats
sound as one.
It is an offbeat
kind of sound
like two metals
clanking with a hard,
earsplitting clang.
Love is not a poem.
It bears no hyperbolic
kind of feelings.
It is a catastrophic
kind of rain.
It bears no onomatopoeia
like a thump-thump–
beat of a heart.
It is just a thunder
with a destructive art.
Love is a storm.
Love is not a poem.
It has no alliteration
in a tiny tinkling tone.
It is not a poetic notion
in a simile or an oxymoron.
It is not a set of written words
which provide a colorful world.
Love is not a poem.
.
.
These were the things
I used to say before…
But then, you happened…
.
.
Love became a poem.
It turned into a free verse –
no patterned rhyme
no regular rhythm.
It just flowed
through a beautiful heartbeat
with an ineffable heartbeat.
Love turned to be the skeleton
of my poetry.
Love became the pedestal
of my words,
creating a series
of lines and stanzas
with touch
of fragrant language.
Love became a poem
because my poetry
turned to be you…
You are
my poem –
my love…
Love
is
a
Poem.
Blckstr Jul 14
One night, as I gazed
The stars above,
I met a girl
And she looks like you, my love.
She talks like you.
She laughs like you.
She smiles like you.
Her eyes glitter like yours.
She has this kind of force
That makes my time stop -
That makes me fall
The way I fell for you.

I met a girl, my love
And because of her,
I remembered everything -
Everything about us
In the past.
I remembered
How you held my hand -
How I kissed you -
How we watched the sun
Fall...
Like we did -
'Like I did'

I met someone like you,
My love.
Her words are also filled
With flowers' fields -
With butterflies -
With stars in the night.
Her words are as colorful
As yours.
They're beautiful
To hear.
She's beautiful
Like you, my dear.

I met someone like you,
My love.
She dances like you.
She goes with the music
Of the mellifluous wind.
She sings and speaks
The way your lips
And voice create
A honey-flavored trip
In my tickled ears -
Iniside my head -
Inside my heart -
A romantic art.

I met someone like you,
My dear.
I found someone like you.
I met her.
I found her
While my heart
Was crying,
Breaking,
Shattering,
And losing
A billion beats
Because of the memories
You left with me.

I met someone like you.
She looks like you.
She smiles like you.
She talks like you.
And even though
She never hurts me
The way you did,
My heart still beats
And beats
And beats for you.
And it still hurts me.
You still break me.
Though you've already left me.

I met someone like you.
I have a choice to fall for her
But my heart still chooses
To fall for you.
Blckstr Jul 14
If I were to die tonight,
Burn the poems I gave you,
Throw my letters away,
And think of my love as a game
You don't ever want to play.
If I were to die tonight,
Let the flowers
In my poetry wither
And never bloom again
Like my dead forgotten name.
If I were to die tonight,
Leave the metaphors
I carved on my papers -
The shallow containers
Of my submerging words.
Never read again
The personification
Of my syllabication
That dances
As nuisances.
If I were to die tonight,
Forget the words I said
Delete the messages I sent
And let your smile erase
All the memories we've made
If I were to die tonight,
Forget that you've met a writer
Who loved you who you were
In his dying poetry.
If I were to die tonight,
Please... just please don't cry;
Don't let a tear fall from your eyes;
Instead, sleep so tight.
So if I would die tonight,
Please try and try to smile
And forget about me
'Cause I know it would make you lonely.
Before I die tonight,
Forget about me,
'Cause I don't want
You to cry and cry
Because of our memories.
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