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i took a hiatus writing sad things
because i thought that'd make me happy
but now im writing sad things again
in hopes that ill be sad
of course
i do not want to be sad
id much rather be happy
but sad people get it
and happy people do not

when i started feeling happy people liked me less
i guess my smile seemed condescending
they were all going to counseling
when i felt like i didnt need it
its like we were trading places for a month
i hated being around them
because i always thought my happiness made them angry at me
like it was more of them who hated being around me
rather than me around them

so im choosing to be sad
so that people will like me
its ironic
but its honest
i mean it
people smile more when im not smiling
and if that doesnt say something
well i dont know what does
 Mar 2017 Blank Pages
Ryan Hoysan
When I said I would take a bullet for you

I didn't think you would be pulling the trigger.
 Mar 2017 Blank Pages
Ryan Hoysan
You're perfect,
        She said.

And I felt myself crumble
        Because I knew I was not so

You are perfect,
        She repeated.

Perfect for me,
        You are everything I could ever want.

And I felt myself
        Become whole again.
This was written at 1 am, while I was missing your 2 o'clock snores and your 3 am sleepy smile floating across your face.
Maybe some day we will dance
Holding hands in disbelief
As tears of joy
flow from our eyes
While the field of flowers
will cheer in salute
Maybe our eternity
will come to an end
And our day will come
to begin . . . just maybe

Just maybe I hope
beyond my dreams
Waiting for the one you love
 Mar 2017 Blank Pages
Haydn Swan
Left by the road side of loves great dream,
laying in the ashes and the dirt,
looking for a glint of light,
but the darkness surrounds me,
like a snake waiting to strangle my soul,
bleeding it out in the dead of night
left for dead in the wake of your words
allready building my funeral pyer
its flames calling out my name,
purged from this pain in this hour of need.
 Mar 2017 Blank Pages
Haydn Swan
These tears must fall,
rain onto my pillow,
a lost sunset of a risen sun,
holding onto memories,
like they were a lifeless body,
distant horizons,
grey skies above,
staring into its abyss,
sleep will fall,
the emptiness of dreams therein.
 Mar 2017 Blank Pages
Haydn Swan
I saw a star who's name was liberty
I saw a sun who's name was truth
I found a soul who's name was love
I found a life who's name was unknown
In the darkest patchwork of night
I found light.
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