I know you wish I was skinny
I can feel it in my bones
The girls you’ve touched were pretty
Trophies you could bring home

I’ll never be ****
Just cute for what I am
My hair is always messy
At least it matches what’s within

I crave to feel desired
I just want to drive you crazy
I know that you’re tired
But I need to be your baby

Love me, kiss me, sink your teeth into my skin
**** me, need me , show me where you’ve been


    Please don’t leave me alone in this bed

Forgettable.
That’s what I am.
Unlovable.
Repeat those words again.

Fear, it lives deep inside me.
Shame, increasing my fragility.

I am but a shadow of the person I used to be.

I know you love me,
But do you love him?
I know I love you,
But how will this end?

Are you as scared as I am of letting go?
If you want out of this, will you please just tell me so?

I tried to talk to you , and you didn’t even look up.
I made you dinner that you didn’t even touch.

My hands start to shake,
and my eyes swell with tears.
My head starts to spin,
And I relive all my fears.


The trauma living in me, rears it’s head again.
I cower and I crumble, when I hear the yell of a man.

My throat tightens up
I’m afraid of being alone.
I feel as if I’m floating around with no place to call my home.

I wish for a family.
A happily ever after.
I dream of white dresses,
A special day filled with love and laughter.

But it is only wishful thinking.
And I know this to be true.
All that I’ve wanted in life was to find someone like you.

But am I the girl you’ve been searching for?
I really highly doubt it.
The lack of touch and intimacy, you’re practically shouting it.

You’re better on your own.
All I bring here is baggage,
Sticks and stones can break my bones
But my heart will break the fastest.

So tell me the truth will you?
Just lay it down upon me.
I promise I will take the cue
That you indeed don’t really want me.

Another day, another night.
Life is the battle and I’m losing the fight.
The world keeps spinning but the color is gone.
29 years feels far too long.

I’m not who I wanted to be,
I don’t even know who I am.
I wake up feeling empty
And see a reflection I can’t stand.

I only have one purpose.
To care for my son.
I’m a mother at the surface,
But inside I’m undone.

The devils at my door
He’s been knocking for years.
The loneliness I abhor
Well, it never disappears.

“I’m doing good, how’s yourself?”
What really can I say?
I’m too scared to ask for help.
I don’t want to be this way.

“Someone please love me!!”
I scream in my mind.
I’m in pain and need saving.
I’m a failure by design.

“Life is what you make it”
They tell you when you’re young.
But love will leave you naked,
With a bitterness on your tongue.

Well the show must go on,
Check your baggage to the side.
It’s Easier said than donee ,
When you no longer feel alive.

I am rotting from the inside out.

I’m living as a shadow in your world of self doubt.

Every missed opportunity is like a shot through my gut.

Every moment of silence is another deep cut.

Will you save me or will you take me out?

It’s so ******* lonely in this dark empty house.

Too broken to love, too damaged to care.

Just a sad stupid girl with dumb purple hair.

My body is covered in scars and imperfections.

Crocodile skin, and a warped self reflection.

No, don’t you touch me for it’s far too late.

The pains already there, I have crossed the black gate.

Into the graveyard, it feels more like my home.

With the skeletons and ghosts, we’re together alone.

Just another memory lost and forgotten.

I’m just a small wisp of wind in a large field of cotton.

So leave me behind, and spare me your words.

I’ll shed this body at last, and be one with the birds.