Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Artemis Morris Feb 2019
I've tried to change back to my good old ways
When I was a kid and I wasn't a slave
A time my mind wasn't a desert and I wasn't alone
A time my existence didn't depend on a phone
I wish I could go back, Maybe a century
Maybe then I'd be seen as a masterpiece
But I'm stuck in the present, I'm just a puppet
The 21st century is holding me hostage
These days make you feel alone
These days are all run by phones
No one has any individuality
We're all the same
The world is brutality
Technology has ruined all our lives
All that matters is perfecting your smile
Make sure you don't get brainwashed
Your life will be ruined
We're all just puppets
Our meanings all controlled
I'm all alone
My existence has been crushed by a phone
Artemis Morris Nov 2020
He stuck by me
Even when he met the real me
When he learned my story
Held my hair when I puked
Kissed my wrists as they bled
Grabbed me in his arms to protect me
Encouraged me to eat
Told me he loved me despite everything
Watched me grow as a person
Helped me drop bad habits
He loved me even when I couldnt love myself
Despite my angry rants
No matter how bad I looked
Even if I had tears streaming
I can't wait for our forever
For all the memories to come
He is the source of all happiness
And I can't thank him enough
Dedicated to the man who saved my life, my boyfriend, I love you Mr Dove, I can't wait to be your Mrs, you're my world.
Artemis Morris Sep 2019
Don't give up
Someone needs you
Look in the mirror
With a smile
To show the demons
They can't hurt you anymore

Drown the voices
In you head
With music that fills your heart
With hope
And with a joyous tune
That helps tell you
That you are worth something

You feel low
You feel broken
But don't hold onto false doubt
Don't hold burdens
Upon your shoulder
Just please hang on
With me
For me
Sorry I haven't posted any poetry in a while I have been going through a lot, breakdowns, sorting out counselling again, etc xox
Artemis Morris May 2019
Bring it back
My mind snapped
I can't see my reflection
The poetry I write is made of all my conceptions

I think I need a therapy session
My anger is my only weapon
I need to take a minute to breath
I need my thoughts to all leave

I need my anti depressants
I think I need anger regression
My mind is full of tricks and lies
And the demons lurk in the back of my mind

I might need to train my anger
My whole life is a movie full of cliffhangers
Casting stones in my direction
Making my life their possession

Hollywood movie star
Wanting to smash up fancy cars
My problems not dire
My issues making me a liar

Counsellor trying to give me feedback
I don't really need that
Trying to keep the watchers interested
But I cant be arsed with the drama you invest in
~ Dunno ~
the stars would never look as perfect
without you out there with them
knowing you're floating around
out there in an ocean of light
like a force to be reckoned with
you'd ignite those stars
to become something new
like you did with me
you know its getting bad again
when everything desaturates
and your music isn't loud enough
to drown away those negative things
swimming around your head
making you want to be impulsive
despite it only ever bringing harm
to you and those around
and when sharp objects around
are calling your name
begging to get a taste of whats
right inside the flesh under your skin
and the bad habits come back
making you into who you were
before you thought you changed
growing into someone new
who no longer needed to hurt
in order to feel something
you try to find the beauty
in anything other
than the blood from your wrist
when i grow up
i want to be brave
strong like you
and be just like me
no matter what
and no matter who
says i shouldn't
because i will always
be exactly who you
don't want me to be
because i live
just to make you
uncomfortable about
the clothes i wear
and the things
i stand for
and believe in
because if one day
i grow up
i want to brave enough
to put people
just like you
right where they belong
back in their place
right behind me
but maybe all along
i have been brave
Artemis Morris Feb 2019
I used to face the light
The world was so bright
I looked to my future
Now my demons pick fights

Although it's sunny and my soil is dry
My tears are her to help me fertilise
Now I have reason to let myself cry

People call me beautiful
I can't seem to see it
But the monsters in my head
They won't stop until I'm dead

They deprive me of sunlight
The wont allow me to smile
In this garden of hell I won't last long
I guess it's time I say goodbye
I'm a broken sunflower and have been for a while..
Artemis Morris Feb 2019
Only four walls
They all drown me inside
The fear of no escape
My head begins to break

The walls trap my thoughts inside
I'm completely unable to hide
My anxiety strangles me
What if my claustrophobia finds me?

My legs begin to tremble as I'm stuck in this space
My heart begins to pound as my eyes see the crowd
I wish I could run but I can't find an escape
Now my fears holding me hostage with tape

I can't seem to move
I've become paralysed
My body starts to shake
My eyes see weird shapes

I'm trembling with fear
I feel my cheek wet with tears
Now I'm laying on the floor
My claustrophobia found me with it's claws
- I'm not the biggest fan of this but it's 1am and I'm unable to sleep -
You've been through so much trauma
You'll find it hard to cope
You'll ask yourself why it happened
And you'll never understand
Everything you learned about family will seem unreal
And you'll cry yourself to sleep wishing not to wake up

You'll go through problems with alcohol
You'll use it just to cope
You'll turn to harming yourself to feel something
And you'll probably never feel free

But just know it does get better
As hard as it's to belive
Were recovering slowly bat surely
As much as we're still scared to sleep

It'll still haunt us day by day and we will never not think about it
But she's not a part of our life now
She was never family to start with

Youll grow older and you'll make a fee mistakes
But you'll meet some amazing people and you'll find reasons to live

No one should want to die so young and here we are
But I promise, one day we will go far
♡ Trigger warnings ♡
~ self harm
~alcohol abuse
Artemis Morris May 2019
He grabbed her by the wrist
Pushed her to the floor
She missed the little kiss
Before she'd leave the door

Every day was a fight
She couldn't escape
He would hurt her
She was no longer under his embrace

She lost her kids to the system
He had a lot of problems
She just wished she could fix them
She just didn't know how

His hand bruised her face
She had a shiner
She'd cry and run but he'd chase
But every tear that fell made her a 'whiner'

He grabbed her by the throat
And shoved her into the door
He held a knife and impaled her
Her blood dripping to the floor

He fled outside the door
Her body lying on the floor
Tears running down her face
As she was seeing the light even clearer

He could see her body as he ran
Her cries becoming clearer
Realising what he'd done
Leaving her for dead, battered and bruised
I have to write a poem for a drama piece in school because my teacher really likes my poem and this is it :) It is about a man abusing his wife because we have to use stereotypes but of course it's not always this way. Sorry it's not the best aha.
How am I supposed to react
When inside my own body
I feel so trapped

I'm expected to be what I present
But that doesn't reflect me
And this person you see, I've began to resent

Her pronouns don't feel like mine
And they haven't for a while
But changing them has helped over time

Sometimes it feels okay
Others I can't take it
Because how I feel changes day to day

The girl you see who wears the skirts
Who wears makeup to be confident
Isn't a girl at all, and feels like dirt

When you call me beautiful
I don't know how to feel
It feels so unusual

My body doesn't feel like mine
It belongs to a woman
If it didn't maybe I'd feel fine

My clothes don't reflect me
Neither does my makeup
This isn't who I want to be

I'm scared I'll never look neutral
Maybe you'll always see a girl
It just feels so brutal

The person you raised
Isn't who I grew into
I'm a new person today

I've never came out
But it's because I'm still so unsure
And if I told you you'd feel doubt

You raised a girl
Not someone doesn't feel right
A child who'd grow to wear dresses and pearls

I was always your princess
Never your prince or neither
But I've never felt secure in a dress

I'll never feel feminine
Not how you perceive it
But how I feel it is relevant

The tiara never fit my head quite right
And the long hair felt wrong
I wish I could change overnight

One day you'll know
I'll explain it all to you
But until then, I'll continue to grow
Artemis Morris Dec 2020
I avoid my reflection because the person who looks back at me is pale and looks dead
The body I once saw looking back at me no longer feels like my own
At 3am I am standing there staring with my hand tracing my skin
I wonder why Ive never felt like my body was home
Because my reflection is no longer mine it belongs to you
The demons in my head
Food is scary and the thought of it makes me sick
When I don't eat the person staring back at me morphs again
To be someone who's dropped weight and needs to eat more
But I can't bring myself to
Because if I do the person looking back changes soon after
And I haven't figured out how to look back at them
I can't identify with the person in that mirror and I can't remember a time I have
They've always looked back at me different
And Ive never seen life in those eyes
Maybe one day it'll change and maybe it wont
But for now I avoid my reflection
Because I'm scared of who looks back
Tw// Mentions of food and eating disorders
-> To clarify: I'm professionally diagnosed, not self diagnosed, and have been for almost 2 years, and this is my own experiences and will not be the same for everyone. I've had therapy and blood tests and I'm recovering slowly but surely. I'm diagnosed with (severe) Body Dysmorphia and my relationship with food is greatly damaged, but I'm looking into getting professional help in a ward when I finish school next year.

Thank you for reading :)
Artemis Morris May 2019
I need to make something clear
I need to elucidate
I need to let you know
I need to let you hear

The words I have to say
I hope they stay dear
The lies I have to tell
I hope you don't hear

I love you
Is all I ever say
And I don't know if it's a habit
Because I say it every day
~ This one is ******* ~
Artemis Morris Mar 2019
The tears
The fears
    The lies
The cries
    The pain
The fame
    The jokes
The smoke
    The drugs
The blood
    The sweat
The regret
    The sadness
The blindness
    The cloudy skies...
The one's who die...
Artemis Morris Jul 2019
I wish you made me happier
I felt trapped
I felt lost in my own head
And you made me feel so dead

I was made to feel like it was all my fault
I was always wrong
It made me feel so drained
Now you've left me with all the pain

We once ran through fields of daisy's
Together all alone
On a cold summer afternoon
Staring up at the sky waiting for the moon

But the moon never came
You were the one who drained me
You scared it away
And made the afternoon forever stay day

The clouds are my only companion
For you left me all alone
You and the robins and dove's
Left me with this fake, dead, love
~ Heartbreak poetry ~
It's always the people you meet by chance
That make life bearable and leave you
Standing in a trance
Unaware of the effect they have on you
Like our fate had somehow
Become intertwined with one another
Somewhere along the way
Like a gust of wind traveling
With such beauty and grace
You're unaware it is there
And helping fuel your lungs with fire
In which you need to stay alive
In order to be with the people who somehow
Got stuck with you
Platonic or romantically in love
With someone's grace and personality
Unexpectedly crossing paths with someone
Who has a lot to offer for your life
To heal or break you inside or offer help
And guidance along the way
Like a soul to hold you in safe hands
As you pass through all places in life
~ This isn't my usual poetry style but I like it a lot
Artemis Morris Apr 2019
Inner demons never give up the fight
They wait until you loose sight of the light
They try and take away a piece of your heart
But you have to be in the dark

You can't let go of the thread
They won't stop fighting until you're dead
You have to keep a hold of me
So I can hold the light

It's like walking around with your hands in your pockets
You know you're going to fall
You don't know it's dangerous
But you have to sit back and watch it

You can heal a broken wrist
But you can't heal your mind
You wish you could run
But the way out is so hard to find

My biggest mistake is allowing myself to **** up life
And the demons that wont let go
They won't let me forget every mistake
They keep helping me hold the knife
Trigger Warning? x
Artemis Morris Nov 2020
I miss when I was younger

Before the trauma and the pain

Before I knew love

And before I felt drained

Before I'd cry myself to sleep

When I didn't know what sad was

A easier time

When I wasn't always dead on my feet

Before I wondered if I'd make it past 13

When my eyes lit up and glistened

In a time where I had no problems

When i didn't need someone to listen

I wish I was a child again

I wish I didn't grow up

Because now I'm unhappy

And I've realised what it's like to be older

I wish I was a child again

Before the drugs and the alcohol

Before the scars and the hard times

Before everything

I miss when I was younger
Artemis Morris Jul 2019
Your heart beat was music to my ears as I lay my head on your chest
Your voice was my warmth and shelter in the rain
Your lungs filled the air with hope
But now there's nothing left but pain

I feel paralysed and numb
And stupid and so dumb
For trusting you with my heart
And letting you turn my life so dark

Your heart beat will no longer be music to my ears
Your voice will no longer shelter me from the rain
Your lungs won't fill the air with hope
But all that is left will remain as nothing but pain
~ Tee **
They're simply words
Used to help someone
Live comfortably
In a society
Where they don't
Feel that they belong
Because you decided
For yourself that they don't
Because you were raised
To be afraid of those
Who do not conform
To what you believe
Is a society where
You wish to spread
Your negativity
And futile behaviour
I always wondered
Why I didn't fit in
With all the other girls
Who would gossip about boys
Why it didn't feel right
But I still liked guys

My best friend
Who I'd dream of kissing
Not understanding
That maybe it meant something
And I was into girls

I realised something later
Had an epiphany
And decided to come out
It still feels so right
That I liked girls
And not only guys
The people in between too
And why I loved you

When I fell in love with a man
I felt as though my queerness
Wasn't as valid as I'd hoped
Because I wasn't with a woman
And I wanted forever
With the opposite ***

I've learned that it doesn't matter
Either way I'm queer
No matter who I fall for
Whoever I love and marry
And spend my life with
Artemis Morris Mar 2019
Your smile lit up the room
Your laugh made us laugh too
You didn't deserve your horrible doom
You and your boyfriend were the perfect two

Now your smile will light up the sky
And our tears will run dry
You didn't deserve to die
And now we'll all have a real tough time

The time I almost got food poisoning
Whilst you were on the phone
The time I first met you
When you were stood outside my home

Well have fun in Heaven
You'll be greatly missed
And every night that you're up there
Every night I'll send you up a kiss
(sorry its short) In memory of one of the sweetest ******* girls I ever knew. The girl who made everyone smile. Rest in peace angel. You didn't deserve to go and I promise we will find the ******* who stabbed you.
Artemis Morris Feb 2019
If I got lost in my labyrinth of a mind,
Would you find me and greet me with a smile?
Would you miss me if I ran away?
Would you realise I left you in the yesterday?
If I lost this battle I'm fighting with myself,
Would you keep my family strong, and focus on your mental health?
You make me happy,
I rarely frown,
You keep my head high,
You gave me a crown,
I can barely feel the sadness,
Thank you for helping me out of the Labyrinth
- Written for my boyfriend -
Artemis Morris Feb 2019
⚠️trigger warning

I wanna put a bullet to my head
My fingertips loosing grip to my life like thread
I feel so down yet I can't help but bottle it up
When I'm sad nothing changes I just wanna cut
I can't seem to escape the feeling of being a disgrace
But it's not my fault, my demons ar hard to face
It's safe to say I have seretonin deficiency
My happiness is clearly in the history
I just wanna die
I miss the way I used to feel
When I didn't hate myself after every meal
Everyone wants me alive
Why won't you just let me die?
⚠️trigger warning
Artemis Morris Nov 2020
Maybe nothing is forever
Maybe it's all temporary
But maybe I want it to be
Eternal love and happiness
Maybe I strive for things I can't have
Maybe things will change
But maybe I wanted forever
Eternal 'I love yous'
Maybe I loved you too much
Maybe not enough
But maybe Im conflicted
Feelings are complicated
Maybe I wanted more
Maybe it was more than enough
But all I wanted was you
It'll always be you
Artemis Morris May 2019
The smile on my face is empty
The name I uphold is worthless
The stories I tell are depressing
I think I need a preachers blessing

I may not be religious
But I need some guidance
Maybe if I stare to the sky
Someone will hold my hand until I die
~ Short and sweet ~
Artemis Morris Mar 2019
You stole my heart
My adolescence too
Me, you, and lost boys march
We aren't scared of a crew

You sprinkled me with Pixi-Dust
And you saved me from growing older
You took me to Neverland
You flew me as I held onto your shoulders

Tinkerbelle and her Pixi-Dust
The captain and his hook
He kidnapped us and Tinkerbelle
But you saved us and we shall forever sail

The lost boy's imagination
Smiling is our declaration
For we are warriors
And you're my Peter Pan
~ Peter Pan is my saviour ~
Marching the streets
Holding my flag
With my boyfriend
Holding my hand
Feeling so at home
Feeling I belong
Crying happy tears
Surrounded by people
Just like me
Not feeling judged
Feeling in place
I finally understood who I was
It felt so right
Happy faces all around
Celebrating who we are
How we were born
Different but perfect
Just the way we are
No matter who we love
This is about my experience at London Pride in 2019. Ive never felt so at home.
remember when the world
looked like it was colourful
and suddenly your memories
began to loose their shades
of fluorescent brightness
and they didn't seem
quite as they used to when
things were different
and the world spun
the right way around
and it didn't quite feel
as thought it was all wrong
and you wanted to leave
and live among the brightness
of the stars up in space
to replace the colourful
hues that earth once gave
to your eyes as a gift
in return for the smile
it'd leave upon your face
when the now grey flowers
were once beautiful spectrums
of colours you couldn't
imagine even with the best
of minds or eyes
before those memories
that you have now forgotten
had happened and stripped
the colour you once remembered
Artemis Morris Mar 2019
That feeling you get when you're let down,
The face you pull,
That depressing frown.

That feeling you get that holds you hostage in bed,
The tears that fall,
That thoughts in your head.

That feeling when you're body aches,
The person who died,
That part of you that suddenly breaks.

That sadness that hurts your wrists,
The anxiety that they lied,
That feeling your head is full of mist.

You're stuck...
theres some words as a society we decided were too harsh to say

they were words that in the past related to alot of pain

words that were hurled at someone to cause them grief

as they were attacked for what they cant control in the streets

different is scary so they dont try to understand

they take it personally and lend you a beating and not a hand

theyre not adjectives we use to describe someone casually

theyre words we lock in a box to lower the casualties

it doesnt matter the context, derogatory or not

and you cant make excuses of your geniration as you grow to rot

this isnt your generation anymore

were no longer oblivious to how our society is flawed

we speak for those we have lost and will continue to loose

as you learn the words that just shouldnt be used
and to my cousin, ******* for acting like using the word f**got isnt a big deal as a straight white man.
Laying there under the light of a thousand stars
Next to one another, so close
Realising how insignificant we all are
As stars twinkle so far
Watching planes fly overhead
While our fingers interlock on the cold grass
Opening up like a flower in bloom at spring
Despite the cold winds making us shiver
Forcing us closer and closer together
Holding one another to fight the icy air
As tears roll down the side of my face
As I tell you things I haven't said in years
Staring at the dark night sky
As I lay here with you this night
Fighting everything I would usually fear
Like crying with someone
Or letting someone in so far in my mind
Where it's darker and scarier
Than this unlit field on a cold autumn night
Artemis Morris Mar 2019
When I see you my face goes all shades of pink

When I dream of you my heart feels sweet

Your hugs make me unable to think

Your kisses are by far my favourite treat

I get a sugar high when I'm with you

When I taste you I go loopy

Your lips put me in all sorts of moods

When you kiss me my knees go weak and my body goes droopy
Artemis Morris Mar 2019
trigger warning?

I've always had a missing piece of my heart
Me and you were meant to meet
We've never been far apart
Temptation has been kicking in and I lied
Despite that, Today I tried to give up the blade
But I took it and now I hide

You've tried to keep me strong
But I'm too weak
I'm too blinded by temptation's song
another for my boyfriend...enjoy x
Finding an item
and instantly
its brought back
all of it
every moment
that you felt
so disgusting
and used
all the showers
i tried to scrub
the feeling of you away
only for you
to find your way back
into my mind
when i thought
i might have
been okay
i hate you
yet i miss you
because although
i didnt want it
you know
i wanted you
to just love me
the way i loved you
even though
it'd never happen.
that ticket.
that ******* ticket.
why did i keep it?
i wish i never kept it, let alone find it again.
counting down the days
until i will know
if the dreams that play
in my mind at night
will come true
or if they'll belong
to the night
while my voice
praying for you
is lost into the world
for no one to hear
like the ones before
in our history
Artemis Morris May 2019
I just want to know the truth
I can't stand not knowing what sits between me and you
I don't want the lies
I just want to know what hold u back bound and tied

You see the difference between you and I
Is I don't know the truth
And you hold all the lies
And you need to let them loose

I hold everything inside
And I'm full of rage
And my heart is a cage
And it's broken and so is my mind
~ Needed to get something off my chest, im crying and in a bad place right now, its just a vent ~
Artemis Morris May 2019
It's starting to get old
Hearing my friends all say
My head isn't sick
It's almost every day

They don't understand my trauma
They don't understand my past
They don't understand my future
And that they could be the person to see me last

I say depressing stuff
And make jokes about my life
They know that I'm not joking
But they wouldn't tell me to put down the knife

The last breath I could take wouldn't be funny
Yet my life would be made into a joke
I think I need to tell them
But it's hard to explain that I'm unable to cope

They think it's to be cool
But I need professional help
I've been put on medication
But I just want to melt
I wasn't able to come up for a name for this poem so I'm sorry

~ Thanks to everyone who actually reads my poems it means the world to me ~
It's you
The boy with the brown hair
And brown eyes that glisten
The cheeks that go red so easily
That smile that could light up a room

It's you
The one who distracts me from my sadness
Who is a face to imagine when I need you
The boy I live so far from
Yet couldn't feel any closer

It's you
The one I met at the perfect time
The boy who showed me I was lovable
Right when I felt I wouldn't find love again
When everything hurt and you took it away

It's you
The one the other side of the world
Who I can't wait to meet
Because the calls with friends are nice
But being with you would make me whole

It's you
The one who's pain I wish I could take away
The person I wish I could make feel right
The boy who's stuck in the wrong body
But the one I get to call mine

It's you
The one who listens to me rant at 3am
Who makes me feel safe
The boy who's hand I want to hold
And my shoulder to cry on

It's you
The one who helps me come alive
Who helps me feel the most like me
When I feel like I'm a ghost
It's you who makes me feel alive
I love you

— The End —