the hospital walls
begin closing in on me
i dont want to be here
please let me leave
im all alone here
hes waiting outside
but you wont let him in
until you asked
about my history
with mental health
and i told you all about
my suicidal thoughts
and you watched
as i ran to him outside
and i dropped to the floor
crying and shaking
unable to breathe
begging him to
take me home
because i didnt want
to be there anymore
until he walked me
right back inside
as i cried while everyone
surrounding me
decided to stare and watch
as i have my panic attack
unable to show empathy

Laying there under the light of a thousand stars
Next to one another, so close
Realising how insignificant we all are
As stars twinkle so far
Watching planes fly overhead
While our fingers interlock on the cold grass
Opening up like a flower in bloom at spring
Despite the cold winds making us shiver
Forcing us closer and closer together
Holding one another to fight the icy air
As tears roll down the side of my face
As I tell you things I haven't said in years
Staring at the dark night sky
As I lay here with you this night
Fighting everything I would usually fear
Like crying with someone
Or letting someone in so far in my mind
Where it's darker and scarier
Than this unlit field on a cold autumn night

counting down the days
until i will know
if the dreams that play
in my mind at night
will come true
or if they'll belong
to the night
while my voice
praying for you
is lost into the world
for no one to hear
like the ones before
in our history

Finding an item
and instantly
its brought back
all of it
every moment
that you felt
so disgusting
and used
all the showers
i tried to scrub
the feeling of you away
only for you
to find your way back
into my mind
when i thought
i might have
been okay
i hate you
yet i miss you
because although
i didnt want it
you know
i wanted you
to just love me
the way i loved you
even though
it'd never happen.
that ticket.
that ******* ticket.
why did i keep it?

theres some words as a society we decided were too harsh to say

they were words that in the past related to alot of pain

words that were hurled at someone to cause them grief

as they were attacked for what they cant control in the streets

different is scary so they dont try to understand

they take it personally and lend you a beating and not a hand

theyre not adjectives we use to describe someone casually

theyre words we lock in a box to lower the casualties

it doesnt matter the context, derogatory or not

and you cant make excuses of your geniration as you grow to rot

this isnt your generation anymore

were no longer oblivious to how our society is flawed

we speak for those we have lost and will continue to loose

as you learn the words that just shouldnt be used

you know its getting bad again
when everything desaturates
and your music isn't loud enough
to drown away those negative things
swimming around your head
making you want to be impulsive
despite it only ever bringing harm
to you and those around
and when sharp objects around
are calling your name
begging to get a taste of whats
right inside the flesh under your skin
and the bad habits come back
making you into who you were
before you thought you changed
growing into someone new
who no longer needed to hurt
in order to feel something
you try to find the beauty
in anything other
than the blood from your wrist