I am such a wretched man living in a foriegn land. No good work comes from my hand's.

The words that flow from my mouth are proceed from a wicked heart.

I know you by your name.
Your love covers me casting a shadow of shame. Your innocence was subsituted by my guilt. It was my sin and yet you took the blame. You know me by my name.

You seen my heart. My flesh was woven with weeds and thorns. You called out to me, I heard you and my sin departs. You justified a man because you love me and it breaks my heart.

Your presence is upon me, I am convicted. I ask for forgivness and then depart. I went from your light back into the dark. I clung to you. You held me, you know my heart.

I am so sinful. My every action is against you. My every plan is a plot. I wage war against you and your mercy sustains me as I continue in the dark.

I could have died so many times but you save me. I could of fallen but you hold onto me. You always have my best interest when to me you are just a passing thought.  

I fear your lashings but I reverence you because of who you are. You are the creator of all things! I am the child you sought. Your perfect son was given so that my sin would be baught.

I am forgiven and you are an after thought. I am unworthy, undeserving and ungrateful, this is what breaks my heart. You are merciful, giving and you never depart. You walk with me every day while I plot against you and spit in your face.

You saved my life and I curse your name. You changed everything and yet in me I walk the same. Your grace is upon me. Father I want to change. Will you forgive me and show me the way.

-RSC

The whole world is on fire and I can only think about you. My mind re-wired to forget what my worst desires have brought me into.

The attraction of strangers eye"s should make me feel un-comfortable but instead it soothed. Somehow they all disappear and I am only looking at you.

I never dreamed I would dream of you. Black and white ambience encloses like a fogg around the room.

One moment I am miles away and the very next moment I am right next to you. I have so much to say but I then remember I will never see you again, so what good would that do?

If I knew what love was darling, I wouldn't have hurt you. If I knew what forever was, I would still be with you. Only foolish people hate the truth. But this isn't about me, this is about you.

Dreamers dream what reality couldn't do. Weavers weave a stranded connection between the two. Believers believe that somehow they can carry on living like they do.

I know that I cannot and I am lost without you. My hearts desire is to reach you across the chaos and somehow convince you.

-RSC

Dastardly and reluctant I have came to speak for the wretched things that have made me weak. Sit silent as I speak, it softly settles as I move to quick retreat.

Bare in all that is me to be the might of examination. If that is so what you please? But also remember you are just as evil and ****** up as me.

I am so quick to want to be worth more when I treat myself less. Intolerably suffocating the idea we should all forget. More or less of a forfeit.

Stranded in solitude of the ever deepening abyss. Complete consciousness in adrift.
So much remorse, so much regret. Who am I?

Where off am if I eventually forget? It seems intangible be it that you are not here. The sound of her voice Start's to disappear. Albeit there seems to be more to this. Than a lost soul and lost mind driting into the abyss. No. There is defiant tendencies that do exist. A reason to run from the part of me I do not want to adress.

I cannot seem to just carry on and forget. It eats at me like locusts latching on to my neck.
So I write to capture the moment to quickly relinquish it. Only you can picture this.

Imagine we are somewhere beautiful. Imagine we were better off than this..?? Imagine I was someone who could offer you advice, someone who has also dealt with this.

Oh wow that sound's great. Yea here is a prescription. This should handle it. By the way this pill gives you the ****'s. So you might wanna also take this. Whats this?

Oh this? This is a pill that will offset this. Thats two signatures.
Two pharmaceutical trial drug checks. Well it seems to work I mean other than the nausea or the frequent headaches. It is also free to me because the insurance pay's for it...pays three hundred a month for insurance. Just thought I would add that.

Face yourself alone, find your weaknesses and eradicate them.
Small changes eventually add up to a big change. Start where you are.

-RSC

You are the needle of my eye, you always make me cry. And I have meaning to say that you have given me a reason to try. When I wake up then I have a drive. I have always wanted what any other boy has wanted or needed his entire life and I know you didnt try! But thats just what changed my mind and it really taught me something. So I have you to to thank because that taught me something. Or was it some other something, that changed my mind. We have had a long go at this and you have caught the most of its horrific side. I pray this saves your life. Now that I am a grown man, we finally got it right and then your fighting for your life. Why is it that I cannot have a father now because I am too afraid to loose a relationship that comes with a price. I have always yearned for this and I know it comes with a price. This will forever change my life. I had imagined this to play out differently, so differently in my mind. That's what you call life. Time to pay the piper and roll the dice. Time to cut off a slice and know the consequences and still try. Humble is thyself hoping to learn a value to its ugly sight. Enriched with fear and foresight but at its fear of a flipped sight. My perspective of never knowing you would hurt worse than if I finally did and you died. There is no end to hurt, no time, I ever get used to loosing someone you love's life. I choose to know you and so I will give this a try.

I dont think she remembers why she came.

Why she is a different person, when it rains.

When everything began, before she knew her name.
Before this creature, she became.

With the thickening Fogg and Desolate Rain; she grip's her cloak and follow's her pain.

Her lifeless eyes lead her astray, as her feet trip over one another before two others came.

She made her way into a clearing and silence she regains.

The dark purple skies reveal a shape of blame and into her form she became.

Her sense's heightened like a catalyst, her intentions were vague. Inside her heart was filled with rage.

She made her way into town, devouring all that stood in her way.

Her blood shot eyes could see for miles. Her smell was refrain.

But unto others she would look the same until her mistakes began to leave a trail from which she became.

They gathered in many, they carried they're pitch forks and Stakes but nothing would **** her and she would eventually get away.

Leaving the town in fear, she made away. She layed low for year's until one mysterious day.

A weary traveler stumbled across her home fatigued. Riddled with torment, the man lay waste.

Her heart poured for the man and so she decided to let him stay.

She catered to his wounds and she fed him each day.
He then returned to health and asked for her Name.

She barried her head, she did not say.

The man so thankful for her help; he decided to stay and pay back the woman who had no name.

He did not remember from which he came, this weary Traveler also had no name.

He promised that he would do anything for her to let him stay.

She gathered his stuff and pushed him away.
She shut him out when it started to rain.

The man confused inside but determined for change.
He decided he would go into town and return with necessary things.

As he returned there was a beast at her door. In a panic he grabbed a rock but The beast instincts much quicker than his own. The strength of ten men charged him down to the ground.

This beast would not take his life all at once.

The man remembered in that very moment from in which he Came.

But he still loved her, So he pursued her any way.

The beast then Struck him down. This time oblivious in rage.

She tore him limb from limb but Realizing was half of her Pain.

The other part of her enjoyed it and so she continued to slay.

I dont think she remembers from which she became. Her lifeless eyes that lead her astray.

Her feet fall over one another before two others came.

-RSC