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The cascades of rain fall silently outside my window.
The lights are off, music is playing, and it is peaceful.
I think back to the time I felt true peace.
When my mind was silent and my heart was full.

I believe I was a small child, around 5.
My grandmother was sewing in the little room at the back of the house.
I was coloring and writing stories of the future I wished to behold.
I had no further inclinations that she might fall into a deep sleep and never wake up.

I believed she was immortal because she never changed.
Though she wasn't societies idea of pretty, I found her captivatingly beautiful.
Her light blonde hair which I too possessed, was a gift only we shared.
Her luminescent blue eyes were the same for me as well.

We watched tales of princesses and their matching princes.
We performed plays that I wrote.
We sang along to Elvis and Sinatra.
We shared tales of school and her early life.

I wanted to live like that forever.
Always together and smiling.
Laughing and playing.
Loving each day as it was given to us.

I will never forget those days blanketed in warm sunshine, especially in the cascades of rain.
the moon was raining last night and i wanted to call you.
tell you about this felt better than the rain,
how no other feeling could compare to the moon falling on me.

it felt heavy and weird,
there were times where it would take my breath away,
leaving me gasping for breath
but i thanked it.

thank you moon for raining last night.
i captured every drop and put it in a jar.
nonsense to u but everything to me
I believe books will bleed and through their pain truth we'll read-
between the lines inside my mind until I find the way to breathe-
I strain and choke on words I spoke and with the blood wrote a poet's
apology
back in business baby
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