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Bison Jan 3
12/26
How sorrow held you
Without right
Night after night, stare out the window
At all the lights in the dark
Never once could you imagine
The light reflected in you
So bright, stark white
Heavily blue

01/13
Left the house today
One shoe at a time
I start to hope
Maybe it'll be okay
From that anguished slumber
You woke
To find a light right here
Not fleeting
But deep down I know
You're still sleeping

02/29
A leap made in faith's absence
The needle wasn't enough
To still the beating blood
And the sink won't ever be clean again
Oh, how darkness did consume
All that I had left to lose
In a note, washed by tears and blood
Reads, in your ever careful hand,
"Reasonless"
Bison Dec 2018
IX
All shall not last forevermore
Patient is the knock of Death at Life's ancient door
Let me gaze through the window a while more
Until Living becomes, as compared to Death, a bitter chore
Bison Oct 2018
Don't you listen well
I could only kiss but never tell
Just what we're waiting for, I'll never know
So heavy hangs the balance
Still I am crushed more by absence

Oh, honey hardly, how my heart did harden
Oh, sunny starling, show me something sparklin'

Caught tight in this Dreaming disease
Toss and turn but never learn how the tides of time wash over me
I am the open ocean, an oriole aloft on a cool cutting breeze
Exhausted wings fold softly, fall into the sea
I pray this love might rest whole and safe with thee

Oh, sleeping saker, southward lies the seam
Oh, heaving haver, hiding holy hands of heme

Sit me kind and languid amongst the stars
My head on your shoulder, a simple understanding of heart
That sadness is not weakness, nor happiness a strength
Time is not a construct but a killer all the same
And as light begins so light must fade
But in it's absence we might find that light lives on inside
And with all of that in mind
I would watch the world turn through darkness with your hand in mine
Bison Oct 2018
So your beds unmade, like always
But you'll lie still, still in it
Someone new will fill my shoes
It's what you wanted, wasn't it
Fast love and so untrue
Not me, no, not for you

Sing a sad song, I know I'd know the tune
Minor blue, just not your favorite royal hue
I'm bad blood and a little too loose
But that'll never be good for you or your unkempt youth
So do away with this selfish pity, so thick
You might not carry blame but girl, you don't stick
To any one reason, that name ain't ****
You don't want love, all you want is...

Options on options, I gave to you
But you couldn't catch a clue
Waiting forever, for every moment unglued
A second of courage, oh what it would do
But it takes love to be brave enough for two

Bemoan your freedom, as if the choice wasn't yours
They don't love you, that's too clear to see
Merely an investment, your future forsworn
I don't believe your tears, I won't carry you with me
Bison Oct 2018
It's another pointless night in a semi pointless life
Devoid of light and aching for strife
I'll wait for the courage to give up on hope and turn out my eyes

There's movement and there's heat somewhere outside the door
I've been there, so long, so far before you graced the sweaty floor
The dancing fools and turbulent intellectuals made dim by another and another one too many
How they abandon themselves forever, an escape they embrace unconditionally, so ready

In the deep night from which I abstain, you're out there waiting
For someone better, for someone to fit a malformed mold
While I sit debating the merits of another new love or an old affair that's always failing
In my favorite chair, guitar in the corner, the words I sing seem cold

This isn't real, I tell myself, it's a finger in the dam
There's water leaking through, it's always coming for you
How long can you stay here, denying the inevitable, let it be broken
Let the flood wash you away, wake up as someone new

Because change is worth the pain
Because theres more to life than waiting to die
Because she isn't waiting for you
Because she never will
So pick yourself up and carry yourself home
Wake up as someone new
Bison Sep 2018
Hello, I'm sorry
Always apologizing
I know, I broke it

Stay still, just one more moment
I want to capture
In my mind, your eyes tonight

Hello, it's pointless
Killing time until the wound
Scabs and heals over
Bison Sep 2018
I have nothing to say
I have nothing to say
No words to complain with
No complaints to give words to
I have no joy to be spoken
I have no wisdom to impart
I am a vessel half empty
I am a fish tank half full
There is nothing wrong now
And yet it doesn't feel right
Am I actually feeling anything
Am I happy
Am I sad
Am I lost in what I am
I have no passion
I have no goal
I can accomplish anything
I can accomplish nothing
These strings are ropes
Tie me down right
I am bound by conventions
That I was never told
Or at least never in a way
That could be understood
This is the future
Where everything is wrong
And everyone is right
And no one is listening
To the voice inside
Because their ears are filled
With screaming and fire
And hatred and selfishness
Even mine are burning
I am not immune
Welcome to ****
You had no choice in coming here
And by God we will guilt you
For even thinking of choosing
To take yourself out
And call you selfish
And bemoan your loss
And ask ourselves what we could have done
But we won't ask you
Before you make the choice
Because we don't care
We're rats
And this is our ghost ship
It might be sinking
It might be sunk
But ****** sure if you
Matter more than me
Or them or us or ideas or civility
We'll eat you alive
And then blame you
For not being strong enough
To hold back both the terror
And the flame
This place is empty
There's nothing good now
That is new
All we are is dancing
Shadows around the fire
No substance, no weight
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