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 Oct 2018 Benjamin Adekunle
Evey
You will soon understand,
that falling in love does not include:

wanting and hoping
that they fall in love with us.

it is falling for the person that they are.

You will soon see that
late night thinking hoping we did not:
“say the wrong thing”
“are they seeing someone else"
“do I look good enough”

it is simply falling in love with your self

accepting and sharing
yourself with
kindness and care
to them

we can only
hope
they accept us for us

we can only
hope
they care for us as much as
we care for ourselves

as of now
stay true to yourself
for they will see in their eyes
how much you fall in love with yourself everyday,
they will see.

As of now
enjoy they joy they bring you
each morning
each afternoon
every second of your breath
every heartbeat they give you

but never forget
if we fall out of love it is ok.

We are only here to
accept ourselves
and
share our lives with them.

it will never be for eternity
for that is our own peace as well.
I want to say thank you now
for every poet here
who dares to use their voice
in prose
to face their deepest inner fear

that we alone are not enough when that is just a bald faced lie
cuz we were born just perfectly the truth
and we will be more so when
eventually we die
we just forget this incoveinent truth
because
they
clipped our wings to stop our fly
embedded in deep messages
and told to us as wicked lie
and when I think about this now
it really makes me shrug & sigh
and every now and then ya know
it overwhelms
and then my spirit has enough to  cry

****.
deeper sigh....

I believe,

we hear a voice of broken generations
we hear deep within our mind
and that voice it could be one or many
and man that thing can be so ******* mean unkind
but we can unlearn deprogram change
and what you think inside we'll find?

EVERYTHING.

Ma Cherie © June 2018
I just want to say this is for Jesse a,dear young man who died this year in a very tragic way I'm very sad that he's gone missing so much and my family will miss him so much but the thing I've learned is that we must advocate for change for the future. So sorry I've been so long away hopefully I'll be able to stop by and stay a while and I just like to also say thank you for every kind word you have ever shared with me. I am finally feeling some real change and inner peace.  love you xo Ma.
Its not the first time I did it,
Nor the last that I plan,
For there is something good about it,
something refreshing.

It was still dawn when I found her
slightly sleepy yet alert.
I think she knew what was bound to happen,
yet I pray that she don´t.

I slowly focus my 9mm,
a little low from her bowed head.
Her eyes flickered a little when I sighed and pulled the trigger.

I hit her!
I hit her hard!
She fell from the branch she was sitting,
her body now lying on the ground.

When I was about to pick her up,
I was caught frozen at my place.
A chain was pulling me back,
holding me hard that I can´t breathe.

'Stop the stupid storytelling,´ a man said.
'Stop believing that you can make a change.´

The woods turned to walls,
The ground turned to cold granite floors,

And her I am again
lying on the floor,
staring at the broken mirror,
remembering each my unfortunate luck,
while the dead mockingbird stares back.
I keep digging
But whatever I'm seeking
Seems to elude the sharp edge of my groping shovel
All I need is that "tonk" that I have hit something,
I eye the mountain of dug-up dirt
My sweat-kissed brow
The hot unpleasant air on my cheeks
Out alone in the sterile field
Only the sun sinking in the horizon
I bend again with both tired arms
I dig, dig, dig, dig
What do I seek?
The trust you shattered
When you began to please another at my detriment
The fragments are sharp and dangerous
They hurt now while in pieces
I had to bury them
Dig, dig, dig
"Tonk" finally!
All I can exhume
Is its carcass
It's dead
Unable to be revived.
I give up
I toss the shovel away
I turn and I take the goodbye walk.
(Slaam) when you try to rekindle love and trust for someone but still have a feeling the war is not over yet.
 Mar 2018 Benjamin Adekunle
RH 78
I still ache, bullets fly.
Whizzing by.... that was close!
Face down buried in mud crippled with fear.
Mustn't cry there's still blood in my eye
Think of tea.. a nice cuppa... will god save me?
From no mans land back to the trench I slither back down to safety.
Rotten flesh... oh the stench!
Fight for country, peace and crown they said.
The smell of death fills the air.
I take a breath, look up and pray there is a god.
A noise.. I Look around... no one there.?
I drift off dreaming of home a beautiful barley field on a summers day my sweetheart running towards me.
I wake up to moans, mud, guts, blood and a grey skies again. Will I see my sweetheart again.?
Is this hell on earth?
A nightmare now reality?.
Must be. Forced to serve crown and country! This was not meant to be.
Open gritty eyes. Heavy shoulders.
Up and over again let's give them Germans a surprise.!!
Muddy heavy boots fight a terrain of wire, body parts, bones, wood, wire, the drip drip drip slip against blood sweat and tears.
Rat-a-tat-tat. Boom.!
No ammo left.!
While soldiers face a famine the rats feast on a dead soldiers face.
Getting fatter and fatter becoming the only winners in this god forsaken place.
I hear a moan in the land of no man.
I hear breath, see life, slippery and heavy, i pull and drag, falling, stumbling, mumbling my soul is crumbling.
Everything is a fight for survival.
Heaven a step closer for one of us.
I look across.
I hold my cross.
Exhausted.
No time to cry.
Boom.!

Bye.

Another fallen soldier including me.

RIP



Another fallen soldier.

RIP
I'm the class clown,
The bright yellow icing in a dull cupcake,
The rare music fair in town.

I'm the internet´s viner,
The one who tells joke in a party,
The one who secretly have tinder.

I'm the joy in every occasion,
The sunshine in every rain,
The one who never had permanent position.

Though sometimes I love who am I,
But this is not the path I like,
For making everbody happy is hard,
When you are breaking inside.
Live. Laugh. Love
IF
If only

If only this photograph's could tell tales
Tales of how happy we were
If only I wasn't blindsided
To the illusion that I was broken
If only my eyes could show you
The love I had always felt
Whenever I saw you..
If only I truly knew
The beautiful soul I had around me
I wouldn't be writing this
But instead a love poem
Craving all of you
If only I had a time machine
To go back in time
To say the words I truly wanted to say
If only...
If only I pulled you closer
And held you tight in my arms all day
If only I could say
I didn't ***** up big time
But I did.... Big time.
"We need to talk? "
In this scary moment
My heartbeat's off completely
All I've done was leading to this
To this exact moment
Where I could feel every breathe of you
I could feel the anxiety kicking in
How could?
Now I understood my tears
How it feels like a river deep in my eyes
The headaches from crying too much
The pain of rejection
I understand now
What it means to love someone than they did you,
Please stay my dear
I would love you
Till I cease from time
All this time I've missed you
But am just back-dated
A race against time
I wish you had said "I Love you, But".
At this point
I feel so much more
My emotions running wild
The echoes of my loneliness
Becomes a widespread karaoke

At this point
My feelings becomes vague
No clear tone to my emotions
The bass of the broken
Becomes a favourite to those who understands...

At this point
There's no point hiding in the shadows
Insomnia, depression, you name it
I know it all

At this point
I'm damaged
And this is my mayday signal.
It flies amongst the stars.
Flashes for a moment.
Despite the left scars.
Holds a place close, yet far.

It carries the fallen.
From mistaken paths.
To reaches impossible.
And develops new plans.

It creates new countries.
Raises dead soldiers.
Stamps unsung heroes.
With a feeling of free.

Hear its silent sound.
Open up your eyes.
Place it in your heart.
Elevate from the ground.

It helps us climb.
Better than rope.
Do you see its shape?
It is hope.
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