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John Mendoza Jun 28
Searching for forgiveness, or unfinished business, seeking for answers to an uncure-able illness

Of trying to fix the whole in my heart, as I try to fix the world , while I tear myself fall apart

But as time continues to flow, the more I get a chance to grow, cause there's still time till the end of the show  .....

So before I get a chance to go ..... I just want you to know that I'm sorry

Afraid of staying awake, staying awake, cause it's only a matter of time, that I see that I’m already insane
John Mendoza Jun 28
I once met a girl, named fire & desire, though far from ordinary, I couldn't help, but admire the way she inspires,

But it’s more than just, giving to the lust, it’s about building the trust, cause something like this, can never be rushed.
Yet we’re both eager to win, even if one of us has to lose, cause no one ever knows, how love really goes

But something tends holds them back, whether it's their past, or it's their last,

Yet they say, you can't truly love someone, if you don't hate em, but what if you don't hate em, you hate who they become,

Or can it be that, they were really something else, even if you know couldn’t help, but not see, cause your eyes were  blind, until you took back the key, and set yourself free
John Mendoza Mar 28
Eternal darkness
Flying on autopilot
Sober thoughts but internal riots
A dark mistress who’s only goal is to please me
Until the sun comes back out, then she has to leave me
Yet even in the darkest place, I still manage, to keep a smile on my face
Where do I go, where do I go, it’s probably better, if I never know
As the rabbit hole, will always be, a lonely place to go
John Mendoza Feb 21
On a somber winter night, I just like close my eyes and let my fingers write

While watching the snowflakes dance through the night sky, yet it makes you wonder how something so peaceful could either excite or make you want to cry

Maybe it’s how they cover the ground with a beautiful bliss, kinda like our smiles are when think of our first kiss

Or maybe it’s the memories attached to them, while not knowing much as a child except to just be free and act wild
John Mendoza Feb 12
Wow it’s hard to believe that you’re already 23, yet it’s no surprise that we made it through this crazy life

Still we grew up fast but you grew up strong cause no one was there to help, when I was gone, as only God knows, that times were bad and the roads got long

Yet it’s the visions of your broken smile that, hurt me the most when I left, cause we both knew it was for the best

Though with all the time that has gone by, you still held yourself together, even as the past kept clinching on, we still made it through the bad weather and you’ve honestly never looked better

I know I missed it last time but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere, happy early birthday sis, you made this far now spread your wings so you can go even farther
Happy birthday sis
John Mendoza Feb 12
You can search your whole life for something  just to see that maybe you wasted your whole life for nothing

Maybe it’s the desire in satisfaction, that leads us towards the attraction, as you get caught in the allure, that keeps you wanting more and more

So when I see the mountains at my gates, I just keep climbing so the hate, doesn’t overtake my fate
So I’ll keep climbing cause it’s never too late, to change my ways
Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that we have a lot more left in the tank then what we think we. It’s only over when you say it’s over
John Mendoza Jan 27
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone

There’s no love around my way cause my heart just don’t feel the same

As my eyes open wide, I see there’s no sunshine yet I still pretend like everything is alright

But ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
But ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone

Can’t water the flowers of his soul if the darkness already took its toll, there’s no sunshine so all he ever feels is cold

But ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
But ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
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