I'm trying to find the words to write about you
I don't have an idea of what to say
Because you don't feel real anymore
You feel like a dream I had a few nights ago that was inevitably cut short.
It's so hard to get out how I feel when everything I want to say is stupid and pointless because it never happened.
I have conversations we had, and I have the memories, but I don't have proof these things exist outside my own head.
The you in my memories isn't the same you as today who can't look me in my eye.
I'm not worried about being a fool in front of you
I've planned your leaving a million times over
I even have the date of the last time I'll see you
But I'm not all that sad; I seek comfort in knowing that like me you are a poet and poets don't forget the things that made them feel so much
You've done so much good for me I'm not sure how I wont be able to think of you and be filled with joy
Although there is a part of me, no matter how big or small, that loves you,
I know you may not be the last one
Because you helped me see that there was much more than the last man I gave my heart to.
And if there's someone more than him who says there can't be more more than you.
Unless you are the last one; I guess I wouldn't really mind that either.
Sorry to keep bringing this up but I can't ignore the fact that you are so much of everything.
I don't even want you, I mean ******* hell I want all of you, but I don't need you.
I just want to thank you for helping me realize that being honest and open will only benefit me.
And that yes my smile is still beautiful even when my cheeks get so big that I can't open my eyes.
And making me realize that I deserve so much more than what the past fooled me into believing.
You're not my universe; just a star in the sky.
You'll learn to trust and when you do I hope it's the right person because I'd hate for you to be broken. If it's the wrong person I hope you brush off the dirt and stand knowing you will recover.
Because you've got so much glowing inside you it'd be a waste not to share it with someone.
And I'm sure one day I'll forget you, but I won't forget what you've done for me.
I want to know why
Why do you make me feel everything?
Every emotion I've had seems as if it started because of you.
Now the only thing you're making me feel is hollowness inside my chest that I try to forget by reminding myself that emotions are just chemicals blending in my head.
I should be over it by now it's been a month of either awkward confrontation or nothing at all.
But I can't help but wonder whose lucky enough to see your dads house,
Or your messy morning hair.
I can't help but wonder who you're going to leave behind next;
I wonder if you'll give them a proper goodbye.
Maybe you'll just leave them hanging, And give them small chances to believe that you'll come back.
You won't and I should stop hoping for it.
I guess it's my fault that when you showed me your nothingness I saw everything.
our snapchat streak wasn't the only thing that ended that day
I guess it's over
Not that it was much to begin with
I just hoped, wished, dreamed
that you'd open yourself up to me
But it was just dreams and hopes and wishes
I should've known everything was going too well
I just, I don't know,
I thought I thought
I thought I thought
At least I know there has to be more out there than you.
you tell me you're secretive
you write poetry no one gets the privilege to read
you play songs no one gets to hear
you think things that are never spoken
and you feel things you won't let be felt
to you I am an open book
I tell you random little things
I share jokes with you
But you don't even know I write poetry
You have no idea 9/10 poems are about you
But you have no idea the fear of being put down keeps me from showing you
the words that are yours
there are a few things I have realized in my life thus far:
1. waking up before the sun every morning is exhausting, but you never miss a spectacular sunrise
2. people will not change you, you have to change yourself
3. procrastination is a hard habit to kick
4. you should never change for boys who will leave you crying regardless of how much you change yourself for him
5. if he hits you once he will do it again
6. if your friends betray you; question what they really meant to you in the first place
7. be open, be open, be open: scream, cry, love openly and outwardly
8. appreciate nature; go for walks and breathe in the air as if the breeze was going to blow you away
9. there is an unspoken sense of freedom you get when you let go of what was holding you back
10. never forget you were created by the same thing the created the stars
It'd be foolish to say I don't miss you anymore
I look up at the stars that had once brought us together
And I am thankful they tore us apart
you say i'm funny
because i prefer rain over sunshine 80% of the time
it's no joke to me though
because rain could mean thunder
and the thunder brings a chance of lightning
and the electricity reminds me of that night with you
my hand tingling because of your tight grasp on it
i laid on the wet pavement
quoting Walt Whitman
you sat with closed eyes listening to the rain
He's proof that the movies are real
I remember calling him a diamond when he was upset about the girl who gave up on him too soon
And him smiling as he asked how
"You have to dig to find diamonds, and people get lazy. They give up. I think people do that with you, but they're always gone before they can really see you shine."
Little did he know
He was my diamond
And I wouldn't stop digging until he was mine
Get it because people mine for gold and stuff ha. Oh I rhymed too
He breathed her in as if she were his only source of oxygen
— The End —