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 Dec 2015 becca marie
Got Guanxi
Carpet burns,
Multicoloured neck in a beautiful bruise,
Red raw knees,
My beautiful muse.
Caught up in your eyes,
The war is over.
Not about the price oil anymore,
Just baby oil all over your body and floor,
As we slip inside the eyes of our minds,
Sweat drips in couplets.
Shower time,
Your body sublime,
entwined in the fuckeries,
You been ducking me lately,
And I seen you in day dreams,
****.
 Dec 2015 becca marie
Got Guanxi
I felt your allure, I'd go to war.

But i'm not sure now,
You love me anymore

You look at me, like you seen it all before,

I'm not sure,
You love me anymore.

I drag my feet, across the floor.

I'm not sure,
You love me anymore

I no longer, hold the door,

I'm not sure,
You love me anymore.

I feel alone, when your by my side,

I'm not sure,
you love me anymore.

You are the one that adore.

But I'm sure that
you don't love me anymore.
 Nov 2015 becca marie
Got Guanxi
tomorrows yesterday is todays tomorrow.
Our time is borrowed from the onslaught of hollow thoughts,
invoked in sorrow.
i’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,
Still alienated by those metaphors as if we’ve never even met before.

The heart aches from the heart break,
i’m not even sure if I can take anymore.
Time takes it’s own sweet time.
Those bittersweet melodies so hard to define,
in time,
we atone.
played through the scales based upon the memories alone,
 Nov 2015 becca marie
Got Guanxi
in between my insecurities

I can’t be found sometimes,
dumbfounded by my surroundings.
hiding,
in between my
insecurities.

i’ve been captured in the moment,
scared to say another word,
caught ,
in between my
insecurities

I got lost within the essence,
talking nonsensical thoughts,
lying inside,
in between my
insecurities.

I learnt my lesson swiftly,
teenage years, lunchbox idioms ,
sandwiched,
in between my
insecurities.
I think i'll revisit this at some point...
 Nov 2015 becca marie
Got Guanxi
one for the delirious,
the inquisitors equipped,

loose lips,
loose grip.
loose lips,
loose grip.


the truth is the troops
are lost in the loops,
of houdini moves,
from those fools,
those fools,
those fools.

oh what can we do,
to break through to the justice.
alas, alas,
the rustic handshake.
not much comrade,
not much.

combat,
contrast,
combat,
contrast,

those stage show motions,
we slept on the stage,
we slept on our opponents.

i’m broken,
i’m broke.
**broke.
 Nov 2015 becca marie
Z
but in reality, we're only steady buildings built upon shaky foundations.
sorry if I misuse words in my poems, I'm a ******* oops.
 Jan 2015 becca marie
AE
Benjamin
 Jan 2015 becca marie
AE
I met a young man on the streets
he had a backpack full of school books
I bought him lunch and sat with him
he told me about his family
how his mother was insane
his father a drunk
he was from New York
and to make money he performed spoken word in the subway
he said he needed to disappear
to get away from his hell he called home
and I had tears in my eyes
he had the biggest smile
his eyes shimmered
no matter what his life was like
he said he was happy to be alive
and I wish I had the courage he has  
I spent ten minutes with a man from the streets
who had a backpack full of school books
and a smile that could save the world
he tipped his hat toward me and shook my hand
and that was the last time I saw
*Benjamin.
The only thing that could satisfy me is your blood.
I want your blood! Because that is all I haven’t lost.
You think your time has come? Well it is far too late!
You were to die sooner, but I was forced to wait.
Your tears are not satisfying, nor is your scream.
Your blood is all that will satisfy my wicked dream
Payback will bite and this time you won’t break free
For this was the last time I let you hurt me.
Clashing fangs, broken skin. The red liquid that pours from your veins.
I can’t wait to stare as all of it drains.
I want blood! Your blood! Because that is all I haven’t lost.
I want to stain the walls with my revenge
Paint the world in your beautiful crimson
Falling for a demon boy
No shock from a silver tongue girl
But is it worth it to be his toy?
And feel my own world begin to whirl?
He is of lust, yet I am of love
And his eyes and my heart may get along
But the voices from above
Tell me this is all so wrong
I knew I'd fall if he called may name, asking for me back.
But what is it that makes me feel cold? What is it that my heart may lack?
I fear that he will leave me, break my heart again
And watch as I die of a broken heart, and see my own story end.
What is it about this demon boy, that I love so much?
I can't explain it at all, because I know it is more than lust.
It isn't all about his looks, even though he does have charm.
It's not that he's my hero, because he has caused me harm.
Maybe it is that darkness, in which I seem to know.
For I seem more afraid of the light than the dark.
Just as I fear summer and enjoy the winter snow.
I would never swim with fish, but I'd prefer the shark.
Always on the dark side, always in misery.
For misery loves me and my company.
Maybe this boy is Misery, that is just his secret name.
And all of my feelings, to him is just a game.
For how am I to know trust? When he will hardly speak my name
More concerned with calling me territory than treating me at least human.
Maybe this love is where the happiness will end and my life of dedication to him will begin.
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