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Cat Lynn Oct 2018
This Morning... Dripping in a bleeding shadow's clothing
I lost a sense of existence as my gloved covered hands tampered with my phone... time wasting

Leaning against my black, silver chained designed backpack, pressed against a wall
I waited for my professor to come and welcome us in... I was freezing from the cold shoulder of fall

With my classmates quietly surrounding around me... Two sweaty Janitors came walking through
Ignoring their presence, my fingers only continued to twiddle again the screen,  "someone is staring at you."

My conscious warned. Frozen, behind my bangs, I cautiously move my pupils up
To catch the left behind Janitor's eyes on me... no one daring to interrupt  

His eyes started at my high heel boots, and slowly went up... studying every part of my temple
Trembling, my eyes looked away... pretending I didn't notice such a failing gentlemen example

"Hello?" He said... However, I  pretended that I did not his voice
"Hey... Good Morning!" he declared... as if to rejoice.

Very slightly, my eyes purposely hiding, I raised my head to show I have taken notice
"Good Morning," I spoke plainly, to brush him off, but he continued to admire me as if I was HIS Lotus.

" Hey, I can't see your eyes." Anger began to boil... So what?
I wanted my curtain of golden-brown hair to hide these jewels that haven't been cut.  

I moved them aside for a split second, to tease this fool..wanted to break his stem
and to reveal a hint of a cursed anger that lied within these gems

"I know" to show that they are hidden with purpose, he reminded me of a ****
But stubborn this man was, he bent down, trying to steal a glimpse

"Come on let me see your face!" He cried like a child
Trying to make thingy spicy, but it was truly nothing more than mild

He took one step closer, his face trying to satisfy those eyes that desired dark beauty
If looks could ****, he would already be dead and skinned down to the ****** bone... I'm not your cutie

One step back was the action I took as he saw what pleased him...A beautiful cat
"Now, Why should you hide such a face like that?"

He said with a smirk, trying to sound as if he was the prince for me
Not even my gloves could keep my hands warm after my heart began to freeze

Anger boiled over... knowing he wasn't saying it to be modest or kind
Snapping my backbone in half. feeling like an object... my possession was defined.

"Why shouldn't I?" I spoke with seriousness as dead as the bodies in the grave
The silence was so loud, it deafened everyone around me. My tears swell up with rage

"Tooshay" He said as he chuckled and walked away...
What a coward to give up his argument and fight... but thank God he didn't stay

...He didn't even have a defense to give... it goes to show what he was after
He didn't even try to convince me... His heart was in the wrong place... what a disaster

...I am so disappointed in men... You only see me as an object of abusive pleasure
You think you can have your fun and flirt away... Your foolishness can't be measured

WHY SHOULD I HIDE MY FACE?
LET ME ASK YOU WHY SHOULDN'T I?  His time was a waste...

I went to my first class... trembling in disgust...
I'll just continue to hide my face away from all of you... it obvious you men don't know what is true... pure.. or just...

I'm sorry for making such a fuss...

But Seriously...

Why Shouldn't I Hide Such a Face Like This?


                                                 10/15/2018
... Welcome to College Everyone... Watch Out for people like this... Avoid them at all cost... if they only foucs on the outside... they will only treat you like an object....

ARE YOU AN OBJECT OR A PERSON!?!  NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THIS!!!!

...yeah it's something small... but still
Cat Lynn Oct 2018
I'll make your words my playlist...
and I'll play them over and over again

I'll put them on repeat...
so I am reminded that I have a friend

It is medicine to my ears...
No remix or night core modification could compare

The music that motivates my heart to keep dancing...
The beat that makes my heart keep throbbing... to show that I care

I'll make your words my playlist...
and your sentences my harmony to my melody.

No billion dollar offer could make me sell your albums...
Because you sang each word... to me... and for me... so heavenly...

Let me make your words my Playlist... and I swear...

I'll embrace and believe every word... every whisper... every breath... never to be on-air...
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay so this poem came to my mind while listening to a some called "After the Heartbreak" (Nightcore is best)

Anyways... while listening to the song, it made certain memories come to mind, which led me to think about the encouraging words of many beloved friends, and many words of the Holy Bible that I so deeply believe in.

Ehhhhhh I mean... if you wanted to, you could take it as a "love poem" but...ehhh...XP idc

I wish I could make the words of my best friends and the words of God a playlist XD, and have it play what I need to hear when I need it. they really are words to a song in my head. All of the things they say to me, I wish I could compose into a song XD. In my mind they are songwriters, and what a blessing each of them is, I can't seem to praise and thank God enough for them... Anyways... hope you liked it <3
Cat Lynn Apr 17
I am not here, I am not there
You will not find me… Not anywhere

I have not run away, I have not disappeared
I am close. I am closer then I appear

Not sure how to type what I feel
When all of these feelings just make me feel so lost and ill

This is not a rebellion. This isn’t out of frustration
You are not the enemy; I have nothing against your radiation.

In the night I have gone like the wind
But I am alive and well, this is not out of sin.

I am not gone, just hidden away for a while
You know all my locations, all my places, you know my style.

I could be anywhere, but you know where I go
I am not gone; I’m just no longer home… I’m solo

My number code now a mystery, but you know my accounts
You know and have more then what you realize. You have the amount.
You know my people, you know my spots
Although I am physically cold, my heart is burning hot

Forgive me for the pretty little lies, and for my acts and stories
My wrong, my bad, I am sorry. I greatest my apologies.

I am not fooling around with strangers, or with the fools of this earth
I am safe, and I am close by. I am not shutting you out, I’m building my own turf

Watch the black now fade away, the spikes dim and become dull
For I am independently going on this journey on my own, it’s quite the hull

I’m sick of disappointing, I’m sick of the back and forth, I want to truly know
Jesus in the desert for days, Moses on the Mountain, and Elijah with the birds sought Him alone.

Days, and weeks of isolation, alone with Him.
I want to know!!! I Need to seek and find!!! I am so sick of guess’n!!!

As far as I can tell, this is God’s leading, and if it isn’t, He can work it all out
I won’t know until I take the first step into this unfamiliar world. I promise I am safe and sound

Trying to be discerning, and wise with every step I take, as far as I can tell
I can’t hear him when many are shouting. When too many feel the need to yell.

Not abandoning the problem. I’m not abandoning His Call
I am looking for peace and answers. I want to be his Princess. He won’t let me fall.

I don’t hate you, there is no anger or disappointment in this heart
I swear I leave in peace and love, for I am hurting with this part

Dad, I know everything you said and did was only out of love
I know you didn’t mean to hurt and scar me, so I hid my scars with gloves
I know I disappoint, but I contain no anger. I need a moment and time
To ask and then receive, and to seek what I am trying to find
Answers

Mom, you are wonderful and beloved, I’m sorry if I made you feel so worried
I promise you; I am fine and safe and treasured and in good care. Please have no fury
I loved working alongside you and doing what I could to help
You did so much for me, and prayed like a warrior, breaking every spell
Blessing, that is what you are ♥

Rachel, it’s time for me to be trained on how to be a woman of service
I am on my knees like I’ve seen you done so many times. I’m encouraged
I’m sorry… But He has shown me his leading… So, I am just walking forward
I may not know where it takes me… But I swear it is HIM I am walking towards
Boldly

Dennae, I am praying for you and the things you struggle and ache with. I know the look
I’m going to miss your *******-up phrases and your unintentional jokes
But I need to go on a journey with my Savior for a while to know Thy way
He will change your heart, and your desires, you keep seeking His face.
Everything will change when you pray

Amy, I am sorry, but I tried to do what I could to be there for you
I tried to be the big sister I needed to be. I did what I could so you could see Him through
I love you little one. He has an amazing job planned for you ahead.
He has not forgotten nor abandoned you. Because for you, he bled.
Remember His Love

You can come, and see, and visit! You know where you can stop by
I am not dead; I can assure you, that I am very much alive.

Take care of my baby fluff, and the fish down below
Trying to follow His leading, and not drench myself so low…

Time to grow up, time to discover and learn.
He is the greatest teacher; He will protect me from the fires that burn

Gone indeed… But to really seek and discover what is in store
Alone and Solo, I depend on Him to really speak and show. My body on the floor

Don’t be worried, scared, or frightened, for I am in good hands
I love you; I miss you. You are not locked away from my stands

From the darkness, I escape, but only to seek the light
Forgive me, my beloved family… but I need to take this step… I’ll be alright

I may have crossed the line
But I know as long as I seek Him… and Surrender to Him, He’ll make everything fine…

Till I can see you again, Beloved Family
April 13, 2019 - 1:00 am

My Move-Out Poem Letter to my family before I left...
Cat Lynn Sep 2018
I face the light... and I have to use my hand as a shield...
My pupils dilate in a painful reaction... It's too bright for me, but it can't be sealed

So I have turned my back on the light... on the sun... and it's flame...
I couldn't handle its truth... its purity... the Light and I were not the same...

So I faced my shadow instead... it laid on the ground in front of me...
I could handle the darkness better... or so I thought... It seemed to be free

But then I began to realize something strange about my shadow...
It would change its shape... it became unpredictable...it's me it would follow...

Even when I tried to follow it sometimes, it would play mind games
It would laugh... appearing to my left.. to my right... whispering my name...

There were days... I would be facing my shadow... my head hanging low...
And on my back of blackness, I would feel the bright heat of the suns light flow

Reminding me... that it was still there... reminding me it was still here for me...waiting
But my stubborn, rebellious, selfish heart ignored... its passionate side fading...

Finally... The shadow began to lead me to dark rooms...
black corners... where it would fit in with the other shadows... I was left alone... in a gloom

Too often this happened... and they abused and used all that they pleased...
Haunting me with my past... My worries... My concerns... My fears... They forced my heart to freeze...

In the night... I thought all was done out of sight and in secret
I was a slave to keeping my shadow quiet... What a prisoner I was to keep it

But soon the morning came... the Sun and its glory unleashed...
And my shadow cowardly used me as a shield...  all of the other shadows deceased.

I finally realized that I must look down on my shadow... for it is a low life of what I use to be
A beggar on the ground, dead as the graves in the dirt, a jealous mimic, and mockery

LOOK UP TO ME SHADOW!!! For it is I who controls you!!!
It is my choice how I make you stretch, and bend, and break, and move!!

My back is facing you now... and I face the sun, whose light will last!
It doesn't follow me, or make me feel low about myself because of my past

It tells me to follow it! It allows me to see!
It tells me to look up and believe!

And when the darkness comes to haunt me, it is still there.
It uses the moon, my friend, to reflect and remind me of its love and care!

It does not change its form, its light, or solar course.
It'll always stay the same and always try to be selective with its rays of force.

It provides things to grow, so I can be satisfied with its blessings.
But you? what do you have to offer? A darkening comfort of split-second feelings?

It has melted away the ice and snow, and scared away the shadows and ghost
Yes... its light is still blinding... but that pain will only provide warmth and beauty... and in this... I will boast!!!!
Thank You For Your Support
Cat Lynn Oct 2018
Well, guess what?
I'm really completely broken apart inside
thrown and shattered into tiny pieces that lie
This is just am outside cover...
Impressed?
925 · Oct 2018
Why I Hate Math
Cat Lynn Oct 2018
Negative + Negative  =  A Greater Negative Outcome
Positive + Positive = A Greater Positive Outcome

And then we know...
A lesser negative + a greater positive = an in-between-the-two positive
A lesser positive + a greater negative =  an in-between-the-two negative

and a Positive * a Positive = a MUCH greater positive

but... explain how the flipp'n heck this is possible...

Negative * Negative = Positive...
When will a negative, times a negative, equal a positive in this lifetime... when will a positive solution be revealed...
I hate math...
922 · Jul 2018
I'm being... Haunted...
Cat Lynn Jul 2018
One little reminder is all I need from you
And you get me on my knees and tear my veins right through

You leave a ****** rub-burn on my neck as you try to hang me on
But I choke and strangle my scream of help as I try to run and be gone...


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

You see me grasping for revival...
Reminding I am only facing one true rival...

You lay my fears and weaknesses out like a deck of cards
You know this game too well... Laughing and pointing with a win as I shout, "THIS GAME IS TOO HARD!!!".


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

Physically... Stabbing...
Mentally... Spinning
Emotionally... Draining
Spiritually... Weakening

Physically Aching...
Mentally Strangling
Emotionally Drowning
Spiritually Fading

Physically... I'm so sick and tired!!!
Mentally... So burned out and unwired!!!
Emotionally... Frozen and Numb to the Bone
Spiritually... DEAD AND ALONE!!!


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being Haunted... Lock it up in my Closet
Because I'm trying to escape the mind that as been born to do wrong

I'm being Haunted... I'm telling you I've Lost it!!!
Because I've been going back and forth between thoughts and emotions for far too long!!!

I'm being... Haunted...

I'm telling you... I'm being... Haunted....
... trying to make it into a song...

WHY CAN'T THE PAST STAY IN THE PAST AND LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?!

God help me...
Cat Lynn Jul 2017
Do you realize what you do? Whenever you delete one of us?

You use minutes of your life to write us up, Isn't that such a bust?

We wait around patiently in your drafts, possibly abandoned or alone

Hoping for that day where we will be finished and complete, your profile would be our home!

But there was something about us that you didn't like

Instead of revising and editing, you clicked "DELETE". You gave up the fight!

Change us! Revive us! Turn us into something that will please you!

Afraid of what people may think of us? Then allow us to seal their lips like glue!

We will be whatever you want us to be, but PLEASE give us a chance!

Are you a coward? Are you too lazy? You have everything you need in advance!

Don't let us go so quickly! Please don't put us to shame!

Or do you only see us as empty words with no meaning on a blank white page....
Here is a Challenge I want all of you to take on
Take a Poem that you Deleted, you thought that was gone
Post in the comments and see what will happen
Let's see how many complements you can gain, let this begin!
Edit it to your hearts desire
Let's see if this Poem can grow on FIRE!!!!
Cat Lynn Aug 2017
The Lust of the Flesh
The pleasure's of the body might bring satisfaction for a second or two

Whether it would be drugs, violence, gossip, adultery, there's even  more that we do!

The Lust of the Flesh will look desirable, but they will only bring destruction to you

Lust of the Eyes

This Earth is filled with pleasures for your eye to see

You see something you want, and you covet. You want it more then anything

The things you lust after will be in control. You will be anything but free

Pride of Life

We put ourselves on a throne of pride

Believing we deserve the credit of our Creators design

Wanting to be more important then the people by our side

Conclusion**

The traps and lies of this world will try to lead us astray

But you have a choice, and you may choose your way

Hopefully it is the path of the wise, this is what I pray

Choose carefully, or you might be enslaved
If you want to write a poem about what you believe in the comments below that would be great!! :D

Thanks for Reading!
824 · Mar 2018
Porn At Our Finger Tips
Cat Lynn Mar 2018
On the screens...
In the model scenes...

In the magazines,
In the places we believe are unseen

We have all the ******* we could want and "need"
It's in our hands, at our finger tips, your flesh is filled with greed

Hastily eating all you can **** out of what your distracted eyes see
Satisfied? Never, Then continue to watch that **** view, then wash that history clean

You know you the ***** feeling you desire!
That shakiness that makes your heart grow mad and burn like insanities fire.

If responsibility did not exist, that would be your main priority, fall lewidly into the dark
To feed that starving flesh the images it need's to get that spark


Enjoying it?....  Tired of it yet? Too Soft? Too Hard?
Too Slow? Too Fast? Watch whatever actions you want, you're the one playing the cards


But listen to a different side of *******...


A "beauty" in those pornographies has laid a target on my type of beauty
I didn't ask for it... I didn't desire it... I didn't want it... I felt filthy...

Several men who thought they had the complete authority,  physically abused...
Mentally harming with words, because of conviction, because of being accused

Refusing to give up their poison because it gives them the attention that makes them moan
Sometimes.. watching things aren't enough... time to give varginity a loan

....Almost have been ****** assaulted more then once... and forever my soul have been torn
Some girls and boys have experienced much worse... *****... killed... suffered.. WHY ALLOW ALL THIS ****?

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT!? YOUR ****** EMOTIONS?
OR A HURTING NATION THAT IS BEING DESTROYED BY THIS ****** DEVOTION!!!!

....The more you feed it... with your mastrabational retuals
Or whatever... the more it'll want to consume... it won't stay netrual

....It has burned up families... marriages... friendships... and relationships
And even has devoured the heart of those who enjoy it... Who think it's a fun strip

...I am warning you... we are tempted left and right.. it's every where we see
We are not strong enough to resist the temptations... we are of the flesh; weak


Please don't waste your treasure filled bodies or lips...  
We Have **** At Our Finger Tips...







Only God can save the death of humanity... And help us end these ****** struggles...
*And Only He...
(Yeah... it's a sloppy draft sorry X_X)
Let me be the first to say this... I AM SICK OF IT!!! **** IS DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE ALLOWING IT TO DESTROY NOT ONLY OTHERS BUT OURSELVES TOO!!!!

Okay i took a BIG step with this poem... and I know I was very straight forward and bold with this

I'll probably loose followers XD lol

but... it's true
it's something my family has been suffering with... We  don't know who we can trust... who won't hurt us... who won't trick us... **** destroys reasoning

It affects everyone... it may seem fun in the moment... but it will leave you empty just like everything else in this world... I am not perfect I have fallen into it...won't hide that... and believe me when I say this... Not only have I done it, I have experienced the affect of  it other people and how they treat others... including me...

Don't do it... end it... what pleasure is there when there is a free gift of eternity waiting for you through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

If  ANYONE has any questions please feel free to message me or leave a comment below...


Thank you

Cat Lynn ///
3/20/18
808 · Oct 2018
•E•M•O•S•
Cat Lynn Oct 2018

•Emotional•
•Messes•
•Of•
•☻Smiles☻•

Fake Smiles...
Cat Lynn Feb 2018
A little bit ago a friend of mine gave me a book

and little did I know that when I started to read, it would soon get me hooked

Reading life changing events of every characters and the struggles that they go through

when they fall and do something foolish I can't help but to break and kneel and barely move

because I know there people in this world who make the same stupid choices and mistakes

they have misguided thoughts, acting without thinking, and disrespect the opposite ***, my tears become a lake

I don't cry because of a conflict within the story line

I cry because I know there are fools out here in reality who live similar lives
(This poem will probably end up being deleted but... Thought I'd give it a shot at least)

It's sad how you see character a person real life do something are goes through something and you know what's going to happen next and you're so frustrated you can't do anything about it, and the times you are able to do something about it you're too afraid to... If you remain silent, you have no clue that you are just as much of a fool as they are

STRONGLY SUGGEST READING KAREN KINGSBURY "Fifteen Minutes"
Cat Lynn Aug 2018
I'm so sick and tired of trying...
                                          Anything I try to accomplish leaves me dying

I hate this frustration... I hate this urge...
                  God, I'm waiting... I'm trying... This feeling I want to  purge

What do you want? What is it I need to do???
        I feel so lost... so far gone on the path I need to be on... I've been removed...

Can you see my trembling hands?... That are too heavy to lift?
               They are chained to the edge... This wasn't what I wished...

My stomach is ******* in knots... My body is ripping apart
Lord...YOU PUT THE SOUND IN THIS BEATING LIVING HEART

I AM SO SHAKE'N I am grasping on to the edge.... and I can't see the bottom
You tell me to let go.... and I stare at you with wide eyes... "What's the problem?"

My hands are being scratched as I try to hold on....bleeding and fading...
"I can't see the bottom... what if I don't survive when I reach it?" My body was shaking...

"I'll be there to catch you..." "Will it hurt? Lord, I'm so scared... Don't let me go.."
"My child... look... and believe.. and trust me... let go.."

I cried out... trembling in fear... so terrified.. wishing to live.
but at the same time... wishing I could die away to escape this pain... let it give...

"Let go...." "God...No...please no..." I begged, in a soft helpless voice...
You kneel down to me, my body slowly slipping away into the challenge of darkness. "Fine... You leave me no choice..."

You cut the chains... and watch me fall...
I found myself screaming... as I curled pathetically into a ball...

I whimpered... as my hair stood on end and entangled its self into a snarled web.
The speed of winds suffocate my nostrils, the free fall of emptiness hugged me "There is no hope..." it said

Am I the name of conflict? Why does it feel like I'm stuck into this eternal free fall of the same emotion?
The color never changes... only the shadows around me seem to be growing darker and closer with every motion...

"Lord... YOU SAID YOU WOULD CATCH ME!!!! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?!"
I cry as this vertical hole began to enclose and grow thinner... and there's nothing I can do...

Banged... Scrapped... Bruised... Injured... from my body forcefully going down this narrow hole...
Blood blocking my vision... wanting to die just to escape this torment... wanting to take back control...

I'm blacking out... let me see the light again... although all of this hurts... and it feels like it's all getting worse...
it's worth going through... because, Lord... I know you'll catch me... and build me back up...but stronger... through this one Hell of a course...

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                                            PLEASE CATCH ME
         I may not understand... and I may lose a limb or two...
I may want to die... I may not understand... but I won't stop..I trust
                                                       YOU!!
8.24.18
715 · Dec 2017
If I am an Open Wound...
Cat Lynn Dec 2017
Then you would be the alcohol that is burning me from the inside out...

*but at least your seeping pain is allowing me to heal...
The Only thing I have to say - you are painful... but at least you are allowing me to heal from the damage others have caused....
651 · Jan 17
~F•I•N•E~
Cat Lynn Jan 17
Listen... I said I was

•F• alling Apart
•I• nsecure
•N• eglected
•E• mpty

So if I say that I'm •FINE•.... I'm •FINE•... I'm not lying to you...
Its just some are too stupid to realize what the word •FINE• actually means...
Cat Lynn Mar 23
Give me spikes instead of jewels
Cuff my ears and wrist with chains,
Make me look like one of the fools

Set my fingers free, make every glove fingerless
Choke and cover this pale white neck
Buckle it tight, collar this cat, I am fearless

I am no Rapunzel, I won't let my hair down to you
Give me a blade and I'll cut it short and wild
I'll color it with nature's ****** hues

***** this long skirt, it holds me back from running
Tear it up and watch it burn!
Give me that sword! I'm fighting too! Do you think this is funny?

Throw away the scepter, what good will it do?
Paint me in the colors of nights shadows
So the enemy doesn't see this princess bruises of black and blue

My skin isn't soft and clean, it's scarred from head to toe
I don't dare hide it
I want them to know that I am a fighter. Treat me low!

These black lips will smile at you
Only cause I know it is I who has won
This corset kitty has plotted her love for a few

I'll leave the crying to the crystal's I've left behind
Give me that Pop, Give that Bam!
I refuse to wait and stand in line

I run in death's boots, forget those petty girly heels
I stitch myself together with safety pins
I don't have time to stay and sew my self back together. I got things to feel

I am Royalty, I have royal bones, you don't see me trip'n
Laced with nightmare roses, to remind you that I am not only the Beauty
But I am also the thorned cursed Beast, you'll see me kick'n

I have holes in my clothes, I've had no time to rest
I am looking to the spells of the moon and the stars for a revival
I look to the misfit night time "monsters" that has been misunderstood and left for dead

Try to zip these lips
Try to figure out any of these punk princess's mysteries
Cause you know sometimes these feelings can't be zipped

Eye's shadows with Ashes, seeking for Beauty
These big cat eyes will stalk you in dark
Sharp and lovely, I am watching, I am not just a gothic cutie

I can hiss, I can claw
You can laugh, cause I know dang right I am pathetic
Not only you, I, too, can calculate your every stupid flaw

Call me whatever you wish to mock
Emo, Goth, Punk, Demon, Slave
These names have been thrown in my dungeon and locked

Listen to me, cause I am only saying this once
This dainty, pretty little doll  is not yours to clothe
Petting me might make me weak, But I am the one who cuts

You ask me who I am, and believe me when I say Oh heck yes
Pierced with metal rods of lies, and tattooed with labels
I am the Punk Princess
Haha.... this is out of character for me to write XD
609 · Dec 2017
No... I'm Not...
Cat Lynn Dec 2017
Some of the many things people say...

"You're a Winner!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Beautiful!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Strong!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Good!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Worthy!"

No I am Not!!!

Because Out Side Of Christ I am  NONE Of These Things

"You're Failure!"

No I'm Not...

"You're ****"

Not I'm Not...

You're Weak!

No I'm Not...

You're Bad!

No I'm Not...

You're Unworthy

No I'm Not!!!

Because Now That I Am In Christ, I am NONE Of Those Things
Outside of Christ I am nothing, Inside of Christ, He is Everything
Colossians 1:17 - 18
"He is before all things. and in Him, all things hold together and He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy."
Cat Lynn Nov 2017
Please Stop, put on brakes
I don't know how to answer...

Please Stop, pause the moment
Life won't go on forever...

PLEASE STOP! Let me take it in...
Spare me your time...

Please Stop, I need a minute to breathe
Be patient. This Era is harder to climb

Please Stop...


Please Go... Your wearing me out
My heart can't take this pace

Please Go... Your burning me up
These ashes are leaving a trace

PLEASE GO! Your making holes!
In my heart! You are so cruel!

Please Go... It's hurting me so
My body has become a blood pool

Please Go...


Please Come! My eyes long to see thee
I don't desire to live alone

Please Come! I don't know who you are
I'm not suppose to bare these burdens on my own

PLEASE COME! Join me in this world
To do the work of Christ, and reach out to those who are lost

Please Come! I don't care where we go!
I wanna serve the Lord with you no matter the cost

Please Come...


Please Stay! My last breath is in your hand!
My final second can come with your words

Please Stay! You have forgiven my Betrayal
An Eternal future? This indeed I've heard

PLEASE STAY!!! My time on Earth is for serving You!
I'll cut off every limb! And break every decree!

Please Stay! For if there was no you...
There is no tomorrow, nor any hope of being set free!

Please Stay...


Who are these Letters To? Read Below and You will soon know.

Distractions... Please Stop!
Sins... Please Go!
Beloved Husband... Please Come!
Lord... Please Stay!

*This is my prayer... and I will allow them to take their place...
Please Stop...
Please Go...
Please Come...
Please Stay...

I beg you...
Cat Lynn Jul 28
Little did I realize that only monster in the room was me.
Hee hee... at least I'm a cute little monster
Cat Lynn Nov 2018
•†•

•Going•
♥☻♥
•Out•
•♥†♥•
•Through•
♥☻♥
•Hell•

•†•
What Being or Feeling Goth is About
But one day, that Hell will end.
This is just a phase of my life.
553 · Jan 2018
....Chok(h)er....
Cat Lynn Jan 2018
A command the neck hugging necklace was given

.....Chok(h)er.....

Believing the suffocation will comfort her fears and insecurites

....Chok(h)er....

A dazzle is distress is it's appropriate title. Secretly, into her skin it is driven.

....Chok(h)er....

Believing it has the right to silence her nerves that desire to warn her of their up coming death

....Chok(h)er....

Innocent in charm, it convinces her neck and brain to go numb. Her voice now hidden

....Chok(h)er....

Soon to be mute, this man made design,  confined to her neck

....Chok(h)er....

Is the unseen burden she carries. This chain of confinement should be forbidden

....Chok(h)er....

This piece of dark fashion, shows its goal loud and crystal clear

So why are people blinded?


For it is called...
The Choker...
....The Chok(h)er....
MEANING BELOW!!!

I have nothing against this beautifully designed piece of shadow jewelry XD for I wear them all the time!

But it is interesting how it is called a choker
Sometimes I find my voice mute... My singing fading because I wear them so much, and so tightly they damage the nerves in the back of my neck, and slowly bring forth numbness to the rest of my upper body...

It's like this, the chokers can represent the sin or danger in our lives that is so noticeable and clear, that we either ignore it or are to blinded to see it.

And we don't usuall see it until it's to late... Our if we do see it...  it's either to late to do something about it....
Or...
We notice it just in time and we are able to remove that danger before we get hurt, or someone else gets hurt...

Some thing so innocent and charming can be the most dangerous, painful thing in your life, just like a choker...

We can't become a slave to something that is so wicked, like sin, looks so harmless and innocent

But if not taken cared it correctly or removed... It will devour you.. And you will be it's slave...

Sometimes that numbness and pain we suffer can seem like a comfort zone for us, a place to feel safe,  but that pain will only betray you...

How much longer you spend this suffocation.. Of your Chok(h)er women of young and old (This also goes for men too XD)

Jesus is the Way
1/27/2018 (Saturday)
Cat Lynn Oct 2017
There she was... In the arms of my sister-in-law
Peaceful and quiet, oblivious to my flaws.
A daughter, a new born, a stranger to this world
Bright, lovely, and beautiful, even when she wiggled and curled.
I froze, I didn't dare to take a step closer to my niece
For her father was my brother, he trusted me the least
I feared him, I thought of him as a king, and I as his slave
My eyes surrender themselves to the ground, my hands folding to behave.
My ears awakened by the small bursting cry of hunger
My eyelids raised to get a quick glimpse of the little light, but every moment got harder.
I tried to ignore the small frail infant, but it's match of fire kept on trying to set flame to my charcoal heart
My brother's hawk eyes dashed to me, tightly swaddling his piece of art.
My shadow colored claws dug into my waist as my pupils refused to obey
My soul was peeling as he got up and insisted that I sat down, he knows I've been lead astray.
I shook my head, the prideful side of me afraid to hold the young one who knew no knowledge
Like a wipe, his finger in a flicker pointed to the seat again. I had a choice, to listen or jump off the edge.
My conscious gave up and was force to yield.
I saw my hands shaking, my wounds now unhealed
I sat in the gray leather chair, my sense devoured in one swallow
I raise my head, my fedora blocking the ceiling lights, my mind forced to follow
The instructions of him "Put your arms out." was his command
I did.... but like the speed of a bullet, my arms shot back, crying was in demand.
I feared him, I feared her, I feared them all. For I was a disgrace, a mockery of the them all.
For I knew I was so unworthy to receive such an opportunity after such a fall.
I shook my head, I could feel every bone trapped under my skin crack and snap with every breath I harshly inhaled.
Did I dare waste a moment like this? Do I wish to refuse this chance to hold something so pure. My selfishness had to bale.
I release my numb and limb arms out into the strange open air
I still had no desire to hold her, but what other opportunity would I have to be fair.
When She was gently set into my arms, I felt a bullet of instant regret, but then things calmed down as her reached out and touched me...
My tears ran down her light, soft, pink finger as she made a faint joyful sound of rest. My soul still didn't believe...
My eyes blinked motionlessly, starring into her darling little face.
I trembled, scared that I would be a failure once again to the young innocent trace.
But her little smile... It had... removed the tar from my beating ticker...
I embraced her closely, crying into her petal like chest that was covered in a blanket, my tears got thicker...
Within seconds, I whispered into her sensitive fragile ear
My wishes.... my dreams.... my pleas.... and my fears...

"Please...please love me... I might have been a failure to them... but please... don't make me a failure of you... help them to trust me again... help them to love me again... I am sorry....so so sorry... please... I know I'm selfish... so prideful... but please... embrace me... forgive me... I swear.... I am trying...I..i a..am....tr...tryi...trying..."

I Love You Lily... Thanks for Everything...
*For through you... The Lord has unblinded me from my bright reality...
For my dear niece who sparked a flame in me...
525 · Jun 2018
The Insanity of Sleeping
Cat Lynn Jun 2018
4 in the morning and the thrist for rest had not stopped its fight

I try to isolate my ears from these threatening voices at night

I suffocate my face with my hands and arms to make the place seem darker

My eyes wouldn't fall for it. It only made the sleep all the more harder

My nails clenching into my skull as I try to cope with this pain

Dear God of the heavens show mercy, my eyes are red and burning... and I'm going insane
......I can't sleep... nature had won... alright lord.. what do you want  from me?
Cat Lynn Oct 2018
I scream when I get what I don't want...
                                              
        ­                                but then I cry because I know need it...


Just because I want something... doesn't mean I need it

and just because I there's something I don't want to happen or gain... doesn't mean I don't need it...


                                       *Such a Conflict
Scream, Cry, Want, Need... What more can I say?
Cat Lynn Sep 2018
I'm

M ourning
I n
S erious
S orrow

for you...


...That's what it means to me at least...

What does it mean to you?... Or does it even mean anything to you?
Idk, this was kinda random, I was just kinda thinking of it walking down the hallway of my church one night...
Cat Lynn Mar 1
Don't hide in the darkness,
and I won't fall to pieces

Don't consume the abysses breath
if you do... it's my shattering that increases

Don't blend into the night sky,
And I'll avoid being invisible to you.

Stop hiding behind me
Cause I'll only let the light through

Wake up from your nightmare
And I'll stop ignoring my reflection

Dont let the demon of shadows consume your bed
And I will not let the ghost break my reality into fractions

My heart of glass... and your heart of shadows
It is the light that defeats us both, so let us, together, follow
I'll let the light shine through, so I'm bright and white
So come out from hiding, and let the light consume you. No need to fright

This poem took a while to write. I wanted to be selective with the words I selected for each heart XD Hope you like it!!!
Cat Lynn Apr 2018
Where was it I left off? Oh yes, the rebellion of a slave to its master

I Believed my deceitful heart knew the way, but the way to disaster

As the days visited me and went, the colder I grew, and the more beauty fled

I scratched, I punched, I kicked, I hit the doors to try to break them open... and continuously I bled...

My eyes grew white and blind... so I could not see the destruction I was causing to myself and around me...

I was so certain that this hall was the hall where my life would unfold, where I'd find everything I could ever need...

Skin chipped away, muscles scrapped slowly down to the bitter bone...  I refused to have anything heal

I made a blood pool mess of pride at the entrance... along with a few puddles of a broken deal...

My God did not leave me though... He was there... but within spirit... but I denied it...I didn't care about my loss of purity

"Do you not have trust?" A young blonde servant whispered, kneeling to my level of insecurity...

"Why continue to make your self suffer when you can rise again?"

"And what reason would I have to rise? My desired fellowship will never amend..."

I intended to be rude to show her kindness and words were not welcome here

"You sound as if our Master is unfair... You doubt him.. you doubt his decisions, His choices, it's that clear..."

"You must be in His favor... To be so hopeful and life filled... Do you even have the slightest taste of suffering?"

Her knees laid in my pool of blood, her blue jeweled eyes stared into mine, my mind constantly puzzling

Closing those sapphires, and reopening them brought forth a vision of her past or tormenting love and tears

" Foolish girl... You're selfish to believe you are alone in this feeling... I was ONCE lock in your cell... Trapped by fear"

"And there are more down another hall who would know that pain all too well... Please... arise and come with me..."

"Why?.... What's the point when I have already fallen and failed and there is no possible better beauty..."

"They can answer your doubts and questions since they have had the same shoes..."

".... but I'm too blinded to even see my self... all I see is strangely you.." I tried to look down... but pain wouldn't allow me to move

"Then I guess you have no choice but to trust me... Do you think you can treat your wounds if you can't even see your own body?"

Anger irrupted inside of me... Only because I know this Blonde was right. So with her guiding hand, I rose to my feet

My soul screaming and shouting... Begging to rebell... but how could I? My body was dying and in defeat...

One warm white skinned arm wrapped around my brittle waist to guide me to the other side of the castle

A trail of blood footprints followed behind me... As I felt the connection between my flesh and the beaten door hassled

Trying to carefully slip away... I could feel the strength in her arm... there was no escape

So off me and this Blonde went... Leaving behind the hall that I want and also, or so I thought, the Hall God had planned and shaped...
.....sorry it took a while... Part 3 should be out soon if you guys still want it.... again sorry about that...
484 · Jul 2017
Knocking On Hold (Revised)
Cat Lynn Jul 2017
She drives up in her small silver Toyota, the third of four daughters sitting right beside her.
She doesn't remember the countless times times they've drove here, or the reason why this place lures her here. Her mind was in such a stir.
They both dreaded the house that sat high on its hill in overbearing superiority
Indeed it was huge in size, but also greatly known for its power, wealth and authority
She felt like a fish on a hook, hanging in midair. Her words caught in her throat. The silence was deeply disturbing. Her heart pounding its drum louder and louder into her ears
"It's hard to believe its been10 years…” She could hear her daughter's voice trembling in disbelief and fear.
The one she still embraces as "son" still lived in the mega-size prison.
Staring at the monolith made the memories of the distant one form an imagination
The day she hoped for, the day where [when] He would return to them....The day when the mysteries of him and the mysteries of his life would be solved
As time passed on, she hoped that his courage would evolve
So peace and comfort would finally marry, where anger and hate would be burned
Her deep daydream was disturbed by the sound of the car door slamming; her clear conscious was slowly earned.
She looked to the left of her to find an empty gray seat with her daughter[’]s black hoodie, but not her.
She looked around in a hurricane panic until she heard her daughter’s cat-like purr
She ******] her head up to look at the hill, as she rolled her window slowly down.
She saw her daughter walk up the winding driveway that lead up to the mansion, as her heart had complete meltdown.
"Cat!!! Come back!!! You can't go up there!! We can both get in trouble!"
She could tell her daughter was lost in her own confidence and determination, her heart beats now in doubles
Knowing she couldn't scream any louder, she flew open the car door but stopped herself in her tracks
She reminded herself that it was her face they would recognize, she would be in more danger then her daughter of black.
She saw her stand at the doorstep of the beast that waited to be awakened
She saw the clinching of her hand, turning into a rock hard fist, its foundation of the heart refused to be shaken
She felt the whites of her eyes wanting to pop out in disbelief, her voice injected with numbness; she could not find the words to say
Her daughter knew she would not be recognized, she wore a mask of black design. Her reputation would not be slayed
The cat-eyes looked at the majesty of the beast; her eyes could not contain the image of it in just a few blinks
She watched her daughter raise her fist in the air, knowing what the next few seconds may bring; she got into her car and with worry as she tried to think
Her ears wanted to go deaf her eyes longed to to go blind, as in slow motion she saw her fist about to collide...

Her Daughter stopped the momentum, her hand almost there, wanting to knock on it so badly, but knowing it would only bring a hell-burning ride
Her hand dropped down, back to her side, as she sat at the door step, she couldn't help but to cry.
Her naked white arms tightly hugging her knees like a friend, oh how hard they tried
She constantly licked her lips as her cat eye linear beginning to get soaked
Running down her face like raindrops on a windowpane, she felt her heart choke
Her black tears ran down her face until she felt the ache burn the sadness inside of her
"Go away pain, you must be contained!" her daughter said as she petted her own hair like fur.
She sighed in relief, leaning back in her driver’s seat, watching her daughter slowly walk back towards the car, seeing her head hanging low
She flung open the passenger side door and then closed it as she sat in her seat, the tears she tried to hide still continuing their flow
She petted her daughter’s shoulder to show her everything was going to be alright
Her mind went blank as her daughter responded with words that felt like a bite
"Please don't think I'll never do it, please don't think my mind has changed."
"The Knock is still there, it's just on hold, but it will make its sound someday...”
”Someday, I know”
Sadly this is all but an imagination, an imagination I am determined to make grow!

(Thank You Jim Musics for your time and help!)
Cat Lynn Jan 2018
I am running... into a tunnel that seems to be nothing but a galaxy of voices

Echo the stars into its shooting state,  for I chose to ignore their choices

Comets have left their trace,  But like an icy breath,  their existence goes extinct

Cover my ears! For their twinkling whispers of constellations will never predict

The future laid aside for this black hole Dreamer. For I have disposed the old axis

The dwarfs of my outter life I have chosen to betray,  I need a morphallaxis

Soften my core with an after glow ripple of silence, and open up wisdom through the coronal holes

Cover My Ears! I only listen to the language of the Solar winds. It understands my soul

My planet has enough craters... No more damage shall be done.  I am the mistress of dark matter

My  past and  memories have been dipped in the light of a lunar eclipse,  it's blood scatters

Only within a Large field of view can I  recognize it's purpose. Not through men's atmosphere

Cover My Ears! I must deal with these super clusters of instincts alone. Now and Here

The Super Novas have no sensitivity to the relationship of  Outer Space and  Precious moments

Gravity is quick to make me stumble...So now I beg the Novas to no longer see me as an opponent

My life has been spilt into two hemispheres. Meteors shower down, destroying every Neutron Star

Cover My Ears!  For only my eyes will notice the Satellite from afar

Where is my home? The milky way?  The singularity of my black hole had ****** me in

Please someone! Anyone!  Flare me away at the speed of light! No longer do I wish to be a captive of sin

Once blinded by the Oort cloud,  But praise the Nebula's, I am now a T-Tauri of a young force and desire

Cover My Ears! Oh Zeinth! So I may focus on your celestial point of view.  Your rays are my purifier.

*Cover My Ears...
Definition for the Space words (https://amazing-space.stsci.edu/glossary/#T-Z)

After Glow - a sudden BURST of fireball gamma rays from deep space

Atmosphere - The layer of gases SURROUNDING the surface of a planet, moon, or star.

Axis - An imaginary line through the center of an object. The object ROTATES around this line.

Black Hole - A region of space containing a huge amount of mass compacted into an extremely small volume. A black hole’s gravitational influence is so strong that nothing, not even light, can ESCAPE ITs grasp.

Comet - A ball of rock and ice. A comet’s “signature” long, glowing tail is formed when the Sun’s heat warms the coma or nucleus.

Constellations -A geometric PATTERN of bright stars that appears grouped in the sky.  

Core - The CENTRAL region of a planet, star, or galaxy.

Coronal Holes - Regions in the corona from which the high-speed solar wind is known to originate.  

Craters - A bowl-shaped DEPRESSION caused by a comet or meteorite colliding with the surface of a planet, moon, or asteroid.

Dark Matter - Matter that is too DIM to be detected by telescopes. Dark matter MAKES UP most of the total mass of the universe.

Dwarf - a dwarf planet has NOT cleared away any loose cosmic rubble from its orbit

Field pod View - The area of the sky VISIBLE through a telescope.

Flare - A SUDDEN and VIOLENT outburst of solar energy that is often observed in the vicinity of a sunspot or solar prominence

Galaxy - A COLLECTION of stars, gas, and dust bound together by gravity

Gravity - The attractive FORCE between all masses in the universe

Hemisphere - HALF of a spherical or roughly spherical body

Lunar Eclipse - A DARKENING of the Moon, as viewed from Earth, caused when our planet passes between the Sun and the Moon

Meteor - A BRIGHT STREAK of light in the sky caused when a meteoroid enters the Earth’s atmosphere.  

Milky Way - a spiral galaxy, is the HOME of Earth.

Morphallaxis - REGENERATION by the transformation of existing body tissues.

Nebula - A cloud of gas and dust located between stars and/or surrounding stars. Nebulae are often places where stars FORM

Neutron Star - An extremely COMPACT ball of neutrons created from the central core of a star that collapsed under gravity during a supernova explosion.

(Super) Novas - The EXPLOSIVE death of a massive star whose energy output causes its expanding gases to glow brightly for weeks or months.

Oort Cloud - A vast spherical region in the outer reaches of our solar system where a trillion long-period comets reside.

Planet - An OBJECT that orbits a star. Although smaller than stars, planets are relatively large and shine only by reflected light.

Satellite - A man-made object that orbits Earth, the Moon, or another celestial object.

Singularity -  black hole’s center, where the matter is thought to be infinitely dense, the volume is infinitely small, and the force of gravity is INFINITELY large.
Solar Winds - STREAMS of charged particles flowing from the Sun at millions of kilometers an hour.

Speed of Light - The speed at which light (photons) travels through empty space is roughly 3 * 108 meters per second or 300 million meters per second.

Super Clusters - a CLUSTER of galaxies which themselves occur as clusters.
T-Tauri - A class of very YOUNG, flaring stars on the verge of becoming normal stars fueled by nuclear fusion.

Zeinth -The point on the CELESTIAL sphere that is directly above the observer.

        Cat Lynn ///                                                            
January 31, 2018
Cat Lynn Aug 2017
I have tried to respect your way and obey your commands

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

I have disposed almost everything to make you proud of me

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

I could change my wardrobe from black to white

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

I could change my personality, and allow it be more bright!

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

Even if my eyelids has a lighter color of design

I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

Even if I burned my mistakes and my past to ground

I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

What if I cut off every limb?  As payment to set you free?

I still couldn't please you, no matter how hard I tried

What if I surrendered my life and body to you?

Would that even satisfy?...

I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried....

*Your Not Worth It
I'm done trying to please you
I'm tired of trying to meet your expectations
I'm tired of trying to reach your standards
I am, instead, looking up to the one who is Higher
477 · Dec 2017
A Beautiful Monster
Cat Lynn Dec 2017
"A Monster!!! A Monster!!!" That is what they all shouted and proclaimed...

But even the wickedness of such a beauty can be tamed...

"It's Coming!!! It's Coming!!!" They screamed as they ran for shelter and protection, fearing it's flame...

But even the most fearsome indestructible beast can be put to great shame...

"Run!!! Run!! It's furry heart can never be softened nor can it's reckless body ever be contained!!!"

But even a retched immoral monster filled with corrupted plots can have a new name...

                             *We Can Be Beautiful Monsters...
Never say never... (oh wait I just did... XD)
Anyways the Lord has given so many retched sinful sinners a new life. We are rebellious people who have failed a holy perfect God... We deserve to be beast and monsters... but the Lord, with her grace and mercy and love, has given us an opportunity to be saved. We have fallen so short of the glory of God... and he gives us the free gift of eternal life... how amazing is that?And we can be made perfect in his sight. Our sins are washed away. We are still sinners and still will make mistakes but our payment has been paid and we can live forever and live for Christ!!!!

This is what I mean by Beautiful Monsters, We are monsters because we are sinners, we are beautiful because of Christ Sacrifice on the cross
448 · Jun 20
The life you want
Cat Lynn Jun 20
The life you want
Is not yours to have

The life you want
You believe would make you more glad

The life you want
You covet and try to steal away

The life you want
Is not yours to claim

The life you want
Is all my life is

THIS IS MY LIFE
BUT YOU WANT ME TO GIVE!

The life you want
Would be two of mine

My life is what you want!
You've crossed the line

The life you want
Prohibits me from being special

The life you want
Will only fire missiles

The life you want
I can not understand

When the life you want
Is everything I am...
I have not comment for this poem


I'm so tired of myself
Cat Lynn Jul 2017
Whatever is in the dark should fear me......
Quick Question, How the heck do I bold things? XD
440 · Mar 2018
.... She Said To Me ....
Cat Lynn Mar 2018
"I wish I was you"
She said to me
What did I do?
I just laughed

"I can't do anything without you"
She said to me
What did I do?
I scoffed and mocked

"I wish I had your life"
She said to me
What a blade...What a knife
For she does not truly know me if she wishes that

"I'd trade my problems for yours any day"
She said to me
Dear child, don't think that way
You don't understand the scars and wounds I am hiding

"I'll follow you every where"
She said to me
I might lead you to destruction and darkness, beware
You shouldn't be following me anyways

"I wish I had your talents and beauty."
She said to me
Stop it child... Stop wishing that you had my duties
For even Beauty can be used for evil.

"I wish I had everything you have"
She said to me
Oh? You mean the abuse I suffer and the labels of wrath?
Don't wish for everything... Don't covet.

"I wish I knew every part of you, every lair"
She said to me
No you don't.... Because I have both dreams and nightmares
Just like all sinners, I have a corrupted side

She said to me...
You know what?
No...
Why go on?
When I can make it shut up?
and choose not to care
and have them learn
the hard way
why
they
shouldn't
wish
they
were
me
and
be
happy
to
be
in
th­eir
own
skin...
JUST BE THANKFUL YOU WERE GIVEN LIFE!!!!!
STOP COMPLAINING AND COMPARING
I AM A REBELL SINNER JUST LIKE YOU!!!

When I say mean, I'm not talking about just ONE girl, It's referring to a BUNCH of girls who have said this to me before.

Cat Lynn ///
3/28/18
434 · Apr 2018
Who Would?... (2)
Cat Lynn Apr 2018
I slash my eyes into your version and allowed my dress to sway

A sly grin on my "innocent" face, you thought my lips couldn't pay

"Who would? Be honest, Who ever could?"

"That is the question... Who could ever love me? Some just believe they should"

"But just because they believe they SHOULD doesn't mean they can or COULD... Understand?"

"Only someone with unconditional forgiving love could. Godly love is rare in this land"

"Who could want? Someone with a forgiving, merciful, kind soul. Yes very few."

"But those very few are one of the biggest blessing I needed. Our Savior knew."

"And I know because of Christ, we'd fight for one another. My Savior would fight for me"

"A worthless, rebellious, burning, wicked, soul torn. disturbing, confused flea"

"A sinner, a shadow, who only hides to prepare the perfect timing to fight back"

"Fight back with love, kindness, mercy, and wisdom, This world's system I will hack"

"He sacrificed himself for a shadow, He gave up his life to save me from Hell's flaming bed sheets

"I'M ANSWERING!!! I AM LOOKING AT ME!!! I HAVE BEEN FOR WEEKS!!!"

"I KNOW  HOW DISTURBING  MY SINS ARE AND HOW WRETCHED MY WORDS CAN BE!!!

"BUT THAT GOES FOR EVERYONE!!! I HAVE PLENTY TO SAY!! MY VOICE ISN'T WEAK!!!"

"Yes... I may be like a Cat, but this wild cat is still being tamed!!!

"Jesus lended his hand, He lended his hand to be nail to the cross, a cross of shame..."

"His body was the payment, his blood was the price, his perfection and holy life was the cost."

I felt my heart grow hot as I seen their mind was far from lost

Like dust they disappeared with the wind and I looked back into the mirror of myself

It's funny how we can lie and deceive ourselves... and put the truth on the shelf.

The dear Lord knows I struggle with a double thinking mind

I know the Lie and I know the Truth, as long as I seek him, solutions and peace I know I'll find
Who would?... Jesus Christ
Along with the Brothers and Sisters in Christ that He provides

Cat Lynn ///
4-1-18
421 · Feb 23
I'm sorry...
Cat Lynn Feb 23
I'm sorry that I try my dang hardest and best...
And still manage to fail... and make you fall..

I'm really... sorry...

Sorry..
...I cant seem to stop apologizing.. and I cant lie when i say I am afraid... and I'm fighting to be comfortable and brave again..

I'm so sorry
406 · Jul 29
Sometimes Princesses...
Cat Lynn Jul 29
Have to fight their dragon themselves
This is going to be a big one to face...
403 · Nov 2018
No Apology
Cat Lynn Nov 2018
Could ever make up for what I did to you
Ever...

What a mistake
Cat Lynn Nov 2017
October, 27, 2017 (Friday)*

Flying down the open empty road, unaware of the surprise attack waiting for us ahead as we continued to drive.

My eyes set on the left side of the road, low like the cold temperature of the wind who's warmth couldn't be revived

A light breath of snowflakes swept over the road like floating silk as my eyes were stolen for a moment by a small feathered creature

Closed up like a rabbit in it's hollow, frozen like fish trapped in a sheet of ice, trembling like death was its new teacher

It was only a blink of a moment I saw it, and a gap of years seemed to rotate around this trap of love

"Mom.. I think that was an owl..." I said with my voice almost in a whispering disbelief. My hand giving her arm a wheel turning shove

"What should we do?" She said as if I was the higher authority. I turned my head to look back, in the opposite direction of the car.

"Turn around..." My mind got into a conflict with those words... I'd be late for work... That didn't worry me, even though we weren't that far...

I didn't know how much longer the animal of sky and flight could handle the harshness of Octobers cold shoulder.

I felt her foot slowly increase it's pressure onto the brakes, her small stormy Toyota turning around, being forced to submit to her.

Approaching slowly, the road was surprisingly empty and alone.  My pupils motionless as they starred

For a minute I believed the lies that I was being an idiot. My mind was tricked into thinking it was a small thick branch with many lairs.

But the truth screamed louder than the wind's howl as shards of ice and snow caused it's feathers to **** outward

To shield his small fragile body. My mind went blank, amazed to be able to steal this opportunity, the car slowly moved downward

Into a gravel driveway, that rested next to a stand. I removed my pink hoodie and inserted myself into the dangers of being alone

Begging and praying in my head to my Lord for guidance, I crossed the wide road, my soul knowing who was in control

  I crept behind the railing and as quickly and quietly as possible I approached it.

Numbed to my existence. It's head in a stage of black and deathly hibernation, I could see it's dying spirit

Lightly, I tossed the bright magenta hoodie over it like a net. A little hop was it's only reaction

I swung my legs over the railing and carefully surrounded it with my hoodie and hands, longing to show it passion.

But it's little strong black claws  fearfully grasped onto the cracks in the road. Like a hook trapped within the jaws of a fish.

I could feel nothing... Only the loud threatening heart beats within me, giving my bangs a swish.

With the steady guidance of patience, my shaking fingers removed his terrifying grip, and quickly swaddled him.

I carried him like a newborn infant as I cautiously recrossed the road, feeling my soul has met natures grim.

We both inserted ourselves into the heat blasting automobile, my mother gasped when she saw the little feathered screech owl cradled in my arms

Still trapped by hibernation's drug. I held him close to the heated vents,  hoping that life will be surrendered to the side of the warm.

His feathers were in several shades of tree bark brown, he had two little feathered peaks that looked like horns to a crown

Softer then even the silkiest chinchilla,  his eyes were closed, but within minutes, only the eye lashes of his right eye flickered around

Suddenly, time revolved around the neck of him, for he turned his head right towards me, and his right eye of sun bursting glow revealed its self to me.

My blood stopped pumping, my lungs shut down, my heart trapped in ice, my eyes making contact with his, feeling like a ship lost at sea.

One of Nature's King of the sky finally awakened, but what was his next move? For these little beast were proud and protective over their bodies

Where their wings have soared over, they claim as theirs, They have used their beaks and claws as weapons against my kind. They have been given the label of being naughty.  

Was I it's next victim? Was this choice a blood dripping trap? Was adoring my Lord's creation a mistake?

The Lord brought this little one in my path for a reason, how can I doubt His plan? For this moment, He wanted me to take.

It's round smooth moving head looked to the left, and then to the right, and then back at me, it's little eye blinking, and very tired

It jumped! But jumped closer into me. It's white and light brown feathered chest against mine. It's head cuddled right into my fingers like a tangled wire.

Softly and lightly I petted it's super soft silky small head, seeing his one eye going into a happy squint.

It only cuddled more and more, demanding more of this sweet affection. His eye gave me that hint

Soon, he started to wander around on my legs, exploring all of this high technology unknown to nature

Flew about a few times to test and experience the ways of human beings, his wings stretched out and soared like sliding glaciers

Once we approached our destination of a recuse center, his curiosity grew as he bonked his head against the dashboard window. The poor thing!

He looked at me, feeling shameful, and filled with stupidity as he flew to my lower arm, and then my elbow that was up high. He nested into it like a king.

He remained there and studied me, his eye never looking away. My soul was at peace until it lashed open it's left eye. My sight got drilled

It was only for an image of a second that I saw that bright red, dark purple, and indigo eye. His left eye was blood filled.

He quickly closed it and snuggled closer to my chest. I felt a hollow part of me being revealed and filled with grace

It's funny how the Lord planned everything out, how he allowed me to experience this sweet heart capturing moment of this wild owl's gentle face.

My Hallow, the name suits you well. For it was an honor for our Holy creator to allow me to interact with the forest beast of flight

A hollow part of me was realized and filled. A desire, a new way to make my Creator made known... through your opposite personality of fight

Permanently blind in your right eye, but your spirit is still sweet and calm to only me. Yours wings still spread like the wide flames of a wild fire

Your unique different colored eyes beaming with adorable sweet love. But also determination that is deep and dire.

You're small, but even our God used David to defeat Goliath. You're an animal, but God used a Donkey to lead Balaam away from danger!

You may not be normal again, but the Lord can still use you, for He has used you and many other animals in my life, although I was a stranger

Hallow, the Blood Filled Eye Screech Owl, I won't allow this lesson to be stolen from me, the lesson of freedom, wisdom, and trust.

The Lord will call us to do the craziest, weirdest, most unbelievable things at times. We shouldn't let these test turn to dust

and if the Lord called me to do something like this again...

*I'd do it in a heart beat...
Thank you Sarah Walker for teaching me about birds
Thanks Colin for Teaching me about death hibernation
Thank You Schafers for allowing me to come a day early to work because if that didn't happen, I wouldn't have seen him
Thank you Mom for helping me with Hallow
Thank you L's, for I wouldn't have seen him If I didn't so happen to look at your house XD
Thank You to the Rescue Center that is helping me take care of him.

If it wasn't for any of these people, I don't know what would have happen.
So... Thank You :)
391 · Jan 28
"You're Pretty."
Cat Lynn Jan 28
A stranger came up to me and said to my face
"I just want to say that you're pretty." My emotions, he tried to persuade

Is that all you got? Is that all you see?
An image that is pleasing and beautiful to your eyes? Is that me?

An object to complement, admire, and then leave behind?
You didn't ask how I am, if I'm okay, or say anything to comfort my mind

I can't stand men...
Because to most of them

I am a shadow of a statue they wish to see
But will never get... I was not created to appease

1/28/19
...Don't get me wrong, it was a sweet compliment, but I would much rather receive it from someone who is of the Lord and means every bit of what he says because he doesn't see an image or an object. BUT A PERSON WHO THEY WILL LOVE AND CHERISH FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT I DO
390 · Dec 2017
Scattered Beads
Cat Lynn Dec 2017
Sitting on my thrown... A thrown of highly stacked orange chairs, all lined up in rows...

I looked down over the world, I was higher then even the tallest of my youth.  I was no show

Simply claiming my kingdom of independence.  Sitting up and watching like a lioness in demand

In demand of discernment and wisdom, for she can't afford failing... Visitors came unplanned

Tense...unprepared for this surprise attack, my heart leaped, shock forced my body to jump down...

Down to a lower level where I rightfully belonged... The third chain of a story broke promise, the ending of one of my neck's crowns

I ran, my feet punching the ground, not noticing the trail of scatter beads that followed my every foot step...

Too tiny for anyone to notice...black..and blue.. rolling away to hide.. not knowing these people's love had no depth

The jewel of the story flying away into a corner of a memory filled hall... the chandeliers crystal whispers were heard

Ignoring the callings of my fake name... I ran into the heart of the church... rows of pews starred at me... I didn't speak a word

More beads scattered behind me, as my emotions and feelings scattered along with them.

The silence never felt so dead as I ran towards the back, my soul singing a surrendering hymn.

The two left over neck crowns mourned for their lost friend, as I mourned over the lack of knowledge of the future

  Again I heard my fake name... depression devoured my hunger in one swallow,  the beginning of a tumor

"I... I just want to do your will... other may ask for love... or comfort... or wisdom...  or answers... and that isn't bad..."

"...but all I ask and beg... is to have Your will be done... use me in anyway you see fit... it doesn't matter what I must suffer... I'll forever praise you and be glad..."

"Show me your will and way..." I confirmed... not caring if people saw me as fool of weakness and hopelessness...

I heard two sets of foot steps behind me, my skin on edge, my small cold hearted hands revealing their recklessness

Running out of the back exit, I heard my nick name again, freezing I turned around to see them panting from exhaustion

Two of my fellow followers if you will, took me captive, and reintroduced me to the loud company of people in motion

Only meaning the best, I followed them and lined up with the other Christ fighting soldiers

Hand over our hearts, I didn't feel the comforts of the third crowns jewel... my eyes scattering around the hollow gym... I saw beads roll of my shoulder...

Embarrassed... I back away from the line to wonder off alone... I left without being questioned

The beads on the floor shared with me their fears of being crushed, and loneliness. Telling me to ignore the session

Seeking around my thrown for answers... I found nothing... so off again I ran... plunging my self into the silence

My black rose laced arms cross I looked around for that bottled jewel. To it, I am a giant

More then a charm... more then something that hung around my neck... It was a story... a story that redirected my path...

The tiniest things can have the most incomparable meaning... like one of the five cities of the Philistines where Goliath came from; Gath...

Such a small detail we don't often recognize... But such a butterfly effect can create a rip the space time continuum.

I found my jewel... hiding alone in a corner in that hall that contained many beautiful moments that are anything but a residuum.

Filled with relief, I gently picked it up and hide it tightly in the palm of my hand

A little bottle filled with bird seeds and rock dove feathers, indeed it's vanity, but meanings should be scanned

Walking back to my piers,  I couldn't help but to catch some of their eyes lay on me.

I don't blame them, I made a spectacle of my self over wanting to be alone and a charm, but I had to make a plea...

Entering my self into the group, I look towards the shining silver bleachers where my two chained necklace and bottled charm laid...

Silly of my to say... but someday the third chain will be restored... but it will have a new story to proclaim...

I still could see the scattered beads, they surround the people I claimed as my home, I know each face

Yes... My emotions are in a scatter, but at least they are scatter in the same place...
I know it seems like a silly, useless, non important poem/story event to write, but I don't know. It's was just kind of funny how my emotions came in synced with the objects that are connected to my talents. Yeah it was just a simple necklace and it didn't both me that it broke. Heck I can fix it XD but the charm couldn't have been replaced.  Maybe I'll write a poem about the charm maybe it not :P. It was just a strange simple event that wasn't that big at all in the physical world, but in the mind in heart, it had a way deeper meaning. the Event wasn't even that noticeable XD but.... ehh... just kinda felt like this was something the Lord wanted me to write.
Cat Lynn Dec 2017
One of the most fragile creatures known on this earth...
It's wings lighter then a single feather of a bird, it's wings are it's prize and worth...

More then a design of beauty, but an artwork purposely fashioned
So delicately it dares to sore with it's enemies in the sky, although it's small and passionate...

It's weak flutter is what gives itself the power to rise.
Small and beautiful, just like most models, but too soon, it dies..

Isn't it filled with complete innocence? Absolutely Not!  
For it stole from the plant that offered it's self as it's home! This was the little Caterpillar's plot!

For the beginning of it's life, it was surround by the world that was large and gigantic!
It took what it's selfish flesh desired, although it wore a disguise that was anything but frantic.

It's small head always looking up for more, but not even the tastiest leaf nor string of grass could satisfy
It was soaked up by the dirt's promise for fulfillment and the  grounds believable lies

If it was wise, it would climb up the rough bark of a tree...
Though it may stumble more then it would on the ground, at the end, it'll soon see that it'll be set free...

The realization of the submission to the wind became it's dream
The acknowledgement of the heavens surrounded it's theme

Slowly locking it'self in a cocoon to suffocate and silencely ****** it's sinful past
It's change of mind and soul transformed itself into a floating mast

The mystery of this transformation no creation can define nor grasp
When it finally rips away it's old flesh, a new beginning has finally clasped

It eye's pop out, now fully unblinded from the distractions of the ground
It's body now weightless, free from it's burdens, it's sky like desires were found

A new creature, a new creation, has used its finished painting as wings to reveal its duty
What it is weak in size and strength, it makes up for in character and beauty

What use to be selfish and rude is now compassionate to nature with every flutter
The stars of the ground of flaring colors share it's sweet drink with it's new friend,  this change of hearts causes it's enemies to shutter

The priceless beauty it contains is more then just an mask, but also
an act for it's enemies!
Willing to sacrifice it's self for it's kind, some will surrender their poison filled bodies, killed helplessly

Determined to distract, Skillfully willing to scare, these little ones will do anything.
Protecting countless eggs, so they too may learn about the freedom through the flap of a wing

Their portrait of many colors signify the mercy of a Flame we deserve
Beautifully created, and light in flight, our eyes able to examine such a jewel is grace that we need to preserve*

There is a flame... do you dare want to experience it?
Do not take the sight of a butterfly so lightly... There is so much more behind that beautiful creation then meets the eye... The creator that created something so heart changing and lovely and delicate but yet daring has also created a place for those who rebel against him... We don't deserve to lay our eyes on his creation... We have broken his commandments we have broken his law we deserve hell

but yet...he is still merciful... to even see the beauty of a butterfly wing...
384 · Jun 2018
Not Wise Enough
Cat Lynn Jun 2018
I believe these things of Wisdom to be true...
and more things of wisdom I wish I knew....

Some of us believe we are wise and safe enough to be foolish and to be a fool

Then some believe wisdom can be gained through the foolishness as a tool

Some of us believe we are wise enough with what we say and do when it comes to deep love

but in honesty... we are humans... who make many mistakes... and sometimes... are not wise enough...
I so wish I had more wisdom with things... sometimes I feel taken back I'm not sure if anything I say is wise or not... this poem isn't all that good, so it'll probably be deleted

We live in a fallen world, and it's so easy to believe we have great wisdom... but too easily.. we can fall
Cat Lynn Mar 2018
If I allowed my hand to get acquainted with a calm blade
and allow them to work together to have my grave made.

It would be so much easier

If I gathered all my possessions and left the challenges and callings
and ran away from all my troubles and problems that won't stop falling

It would be so much easier

If I took a bullet to these warm feather breezed feelings that stir up the winds
and forced unwanted emotions to take command, and avoid the punishment of being mentally skinned

It would be so much easier

If I gave up my fight... and simply lose the battle of my individuality
And accept their Labels of Lies and give them the right to make me wear a mask that is beautiful but beastly.

It would be so much easier

If I accepted my fate in depression and abuse and allow it infest inside of me
and be as dark and gruesome as I've always been tempted to be

It would be so much easier

If I chose to ****** all the things I've worked hard for
By throwing them over the wall of rejection... and watch it shatter onto the deep floor

It would be so much easier

If I ignored all the beloved people who surround me and would do anything
And focused devouring myself back into the past until I'm nothing more then bone and ****** strings

It would be so much easier

But Just Because It's Easier...
It Doesn't Mean It's Right...
I won't lie, there are so many temptations out there that can cause me to drift away from the will of God. There are so many things that would be so much easier to do.... but just because it's easier it doesn't mean it's right... Sometimes we need those struggles and challenges to make us stronger, to make us better. These temptations are so addicting I'm sure to many of us. An easy path can lea you to a path of destruction and misery

May God Continue to Guard my Heart and Direct my path on the path of Life, Light, and Wisdom...

Cat Lynn ///
3/24/18 - Progressive Dinner
Cat Lynn Dec 2017
All in a line... everyone's foots steps moving at the same speed... at the same pace... with the same sound...

All their heads... hanging down... hanging low...their percent of depression increasing with every heart pound...

All forced... to surrender their bodies to the whip... the whip of Depressions guard...Pain...

Pain... even thinking of the name caused the slaves to tremble... a single cry...a single crack...only brought forth screaming rain...

They have learned to betray their senses... They have been trained to trade their emotions for emptiness...

Chains...heavier then the burdens they bare... suffocate the nerves in their neck, ankles. and wrist...

Continuously walking into a tunnel that seems to go on for all eternity... Their eyes no longer dilating for light...

No comfort...no warmth... not even the ground showed mercy...reveling and reminding them of memories... memories they try to fight

Their eyes growing blind by Depressions overcast...closing...some creating water falls...

Some of their wells are dry...For their deceitful friend Anger stole their heart of flesh... they can't hear Hopes call...

Anger... promising  relief... if they only would give their hearts to him... sadly....some have listened and fell astray...

Some refuse...and with that....the wrath of Suffering is spilled over them...there is no such thing as day...

In the line... they continue on...their minds screaming for comfort... Their soul drowning in the shadows... Their veins frozen in time

They all will soon meet depression itself...what an earthly torment...to not know when...how...or why..

What will Depression do?   Only what you fear...  Do you dare look into the solid ...zero degrees below eyes of the beast?

Are you strong enough?... Or will you accept it's blade sharpened jaws?... Do you desire those black stained claws to  throw you to the east?

Do you want the thrill filled feeling of blood dripping into your mouth?  The scratches to prove you've been defeated?

Will you accept weakness to be your grave?  Would you like Regret to be your funeral!?   And allow Hell to be seated?

LOOK UP LOOK UP!!!

SCREAM AND CRY OUT FOR LOVE!!!

You have misplaced and lost your hope, do you truly believe it's lost and gone forever?

AGAIN I SAY LOOK UP!!! THE LIGHT NEVER LEFT YOU!!! NEVER!!!

Just because on your level it's gloomy and dark... and danger is your air

Doesn't mean the sky above you contains the same!!! Release your eyes!!! Don't be scared!

When Depression snaps it's jaws at you, and you can see your dead body in it's reflexion

Reach your hand to the sky!!! Dilate your eyes to the sun's rays again! This is your confession!!!

Grab the Sword of the Spirit!!! Yes, you are unworthy of it!!! But don't use that as an excuse to stop fighting!!!

In the spiritual battle you are not alone!!! For the one who took your place will some day arrive like silver lightning!!!

Use that sword to permanently silence the monsters lips!  Skillfully slash open it's cheeks!!!

Hide your blade in your Belt of Truth! And reveal your Faith that will protect you! For you have created a blood creek!

Was awakening this Dark Death Grappling Beast worth it? Are you willing to continue to suffer??

Depression will slash at your Shield of Faith, and will try to cause it to shatter, sin's reminders will hover

Stand strong and firmly on the Gospel of Peace, for it's has a firm foundation... not the ground of sinking sand

Betrayal... Guilt...Shame... Worthlessness... Fear... Lies... Hurt.... will pour over and suffocate you if you stand on unstable land

Your eyelids lay heavy,  doubt contains your soul... Depressions shuttering fears will dig it's claws into your neck

Close your eyes!! Don't you dare surrender your eyes to the two furry fire filled eyes. Use your helmet to WRECK!!!

Salvation covers your head, don't inhale the the sweet deceptive fumes of Depression's dark comfort!

Consume Righteousness into your breastplate. For with it you will protect and guard your heart. So it does not convert!

Convert to the foolish ways of this word. RUN!!! RUN I TELL YOU!!!

FLEE FROM DEPRESSIONS CONCENTRATION CAMP!YOU WILL GET THROUGH!

Use that spear to make that lock submit and obey!!! Your not an animal that should be caged!!!

Depression is not your master, nor are you it's slave!!! Allow this knowledge to make your mind rage!!

Rebel!!! For Hope has opened up her gates to you! And wisdom has offered her help!

Escape the guardians of Doubt!!! For they will try to make you stumble and fall, and make you yelp!

You will know when you are safe... when you stop hearing the names of the past in your weakened ears

You your ears will receive joyous sounds.. Your senses will finally find their place after all these years

Your eyes will feel that thirst for light and brightness, your lips will finally be given a reason to speak!!!

Your heart pieces will bond and be mended again!!! It shall be overfilled with love and it shall leak!!!

Your soul will try to hide from the suns soft glow, but redilate your eyes!  For you are no longer blind!!!

Didn't you want to be made new? Didn't you want depression to be permanently ripped away from you body, heart, soul, and mind?

Freedom does indeed give off a strange touch...But do you dare to reject a free gift?

  He can give you more then freedom, you can receive more then just the feeling of your life being in a new shift

Gain eternal life!!! Reach for a new goal in life!!! Run for the prize that will never fade...

So indeed I dare to ask...Do you dare to accept? For in any trouble... any problem... even Depression.. He will be your aid


           Allow Depressions Torment Awaken You... Awaken You the    the Hope that is right in front of you...
Most of us have been through depression. Wither it was a strong depression or weak, most of us have had a taste of it. Listen if any of you are going through depression and you want to find hope... and you want to find life again within this dead world we live in. I AM OPEN!!! I am open to help with anything!!! Indeed I am a stranger but I am here to fulfill the duty of my creator and maybe this is one of the ways.  I do hope my poetry has inspired and help many of you who are reading. I don't care about the trending or the loves or likes, All I want is to help as many as I can on Hello Poetry. Thank you, MANY OF YOU FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! THANK YOU!
Cat Lynn Nov 2017
There he is, my little baby boy, his fluffy ****** fur spiked out in all directions.

His eyes, like coco powder surrounding a drop of pure vanilla. They are so big and heart catching I have to mention.

His spiraled tail laid over his back and spread out like a fire work. Curly and a sandy color, it stands out against his Gingerbread coat.

His tiny, dainty, quick moving paws always in a scurry as he races to his little window, barking in a  high pitch squeal, his spirit always in a float.

His fur flows in a fluffy rustle when he stands outside to strut his pride, his little mocha mountain peaks alert and doesn't miss a single action.

He walks like the world revolves around him, he runs for nothing but his own fancy desires, He flaunts his cute looks, with the sway of his tail and barks at other dogs just to get a good reaction.

His white furred lips speak of whimpers and pleads to me whenever I'm down,  He lays over my arms when I type, sick of not being the center of attention.

He allows his two back legs to fly behind him when he kicks in demand. He bangs his two front paws to the ground when he's frustration for not getting his way. There's too much tension.

I can't help but to laugh at the pathetic adorable soul! Thinking he can live his spoiled "perfect" worry-free life forever.

But even the greatest break, people wear a mask, and so do dogs! He pretends he doesn't need any body. He think's he's so clever!

Behind that perfectly circular face of fluff and eye seeking attention, is a heart of fear... There is no drop of bravery within him...

As his mother, as his human, as his owner I feel his fear, for we both fear the same thing... The higher authority, our changes to them are dim...

When he is around them, his tail hangs low to hide it's spark, his shiny wondering eyes look down in shame of his small size and courage.

His mountain peeks collide in an avalanche. They lay back and hide their mighty heights. His hopefulness for joy could not flourish...

His eyes water up like a river from a down pour... have you ever seen tears pour from a dogs eyes at a constant rate? I have...

His pride as an Alpha was only an act, his true identity is all omega, his mind and heart have been split into halves...

He's high pitch but low noted howl does not ring when he is in the state of depression as omega. He instead taps his two little light paws against my chair as I sit...

I look down and sadly sometimes I ignore him. My mind already in a struggle. But the little one is wise as well. He'll kick his back legs and howl to catch my attention and throw a fit!

He knows I need his little fluffy sweet comfort, and he needs my warm embrace and my soft lap.

The only time he always look so content and happy is when I hold the little dear and he purposely falls backwards so I may hold him like a baby, an opportunity I have to grab

He has a big smile on his soft furry face, his eyes pleasantly closing, his body pliable and limb.

You would think he was fake by the peaceful contentment on his face, his little black paws up in the air, so many adore him

Only because of his physical appearance, not because of the longing to change sweet hearted Pomeranian from within

When I set him down, the peace instantly breaks, his happiness is shattered, his nose sniffing up at me in disbelief, he needs thicker skin.

Munchkin... you had two owners before us, the first one threw you out of the car in front of a pet store...

The other locked you up in your cage for too many helpless countless hours... you remember this for sure.

The Lord is merciful... for we have came to the rescue, your soul is now being built back up... we promise we won't abandon you. I won't abandon you...

If only you knew how the Lord has used you in my life... The blessing you have been. This owner ship refuses to move.

You are my sweet Pomeranian Munchkin... and I am your owner
Have No Fear Little Fluff.. Have No Fear  

*I love you <3
Thank you Lord for using Munchkin to teach me to control my anger, to train me for the future, for being such a loving comfort, for the bond me and my little boy share, and for using him to open my eyes more to your mercy's and abundant grace.  I know I don't deserve anything  at all. Praise You Lord.
376 · Mar 5
...a.l.o.n.e...
Cat Lynn Mar 5
...a.l.l..
...l.o.n.e.l.y...
...o.r.p.h.a.n.s...
...n.e.e.d...
..­.e.s.c.a.p.e...

...a.l.o.n.e....
...g.e.t...m.e...o.u.t...
...s.h.o.w...m.e...y.o.u.r...
...w.i.l.l...
...g.u.i.d.e...m.e...
...
...p.l.e.a.s.e...
Cat Lynn Jan 19
I am awake... Dont think I'm sleeping in peace

How can I when the silence is devouring my ears like a feast

I cant scream back at it... I can't slam it again my wall

I'm shaking... I'm trying to fight it as it yells out my flaws

I no longer welcome the night...  it is no longer a time to rest

But moment to cruel up to avoid falling to temptations pest

I was doing pretty good.... but I guess time has begun its torment

I cant talk to anyone... I've been left in phsysical isolation

I have been fighting, dont think I haven't

The battle has been going on for far too long... I hope it wouldn't

I've blocked as many lies as I could...

I've slayed many doubts like I said I would

But now I've been slaughtered in a weak spot in my armor

And now I'm down... bleeding... starring face to face with deaths color

So now I'm ready to take my last breath and welcome the silence's abuse

So tell them that I love them and good bye for me... because this princess has to loose

Because in order to end silence's rule... it has to think it has won

So welcome the image of a ****** beaten body, for it's just a weak shell... Guilt is no living fun...
I swear... I will come back stronger someday... and I will scream so loudly in Silence's stupid face...
365 · Feb 2018
Twenty-forth of February
Cat Lynn Feb 2018
T* wo
W eeks
E arly...
,
N ot
T he
Y oungest...
,
F orever
O btaining
R adiant
T wo
H ues

O nly
F or

F ew
E yes...
,
B right
R ivalries
U nite...
,
A new
R elative's
Y earling...


                          *Hello Again, My Reminder Of my Birth

                                                     *2-24-00
(I don't know why the strong thing is up there it's suppose to be **T**.. of well XP
...okay not the best poem...but it was something different I wanted to try?

Okay for those who didn't understand it, but something that has been passed down in my family are two different colored eyes, they aren't that noticeable like they USE to be when I was a baby but if you stared into my eyes, and looked around the edges... you can see how different they really are. My uncle on my mom's side had them, and before him my grandfathers brother had it. It's been passed down for generations. And that was the first thing they noticed with me when I was little. I was forced to be born 2 weeks early, so I was a pretty small baby XD. but.. yeah... although i wish they were more noticeable... idk it's always something I've been proud to have... I am the second youngest of my family,  although i was SUPPOSE to be the youngest. ....but yeah..

The Yearling Part is weird I know, but a yearly refers to an animal of new birth, Since I am called "Cat" and so was my uncle, some say I am his "yearling" if you will.... yeah it's weird... idk XD

Idk it's a strange Birthday Poem I wanted to try I didn't know else what to write or even how to write it XD forgive me if it's terrible

Thank You Lord <3

Cat Lynn ///
2-24-2000
364 · Aug 5
Plot Twist
Cat Lynn Aug 5
After two years of trying to figure it out
When the root of the problem ended up being upside down

Every piece of the puzzle now perfectly fits...
But God... I was not expecting this kind of plot twist
Still trying to fully grasp it
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