I never used to feel so empty inside
That I needed to cut my flesh
To make the pain more real
To give myself a reason
For feeling so bad
But now
I know the feeling of emptiness

Now
You are in my heart
And it is as if you are cutting me
From the inside

My heart bleeds
But it doesn't show
To those who don't know
What to look for

And you

Aren't looking

don't over think it,
she said to me
as we stood
under the fluorescent
light of the post office
sign

knee deep in our plight
she kneaded knots
into my thighs, tied
me up tight

I couldn't move

I was still as a mountain
on fire

I could feel the pain of the
entire world

and they felt like insect bites

We are in harmony she
said to me, but I was too
busy checking the time,
I had somewhere to go
somewhere to be, I was
a thousand times
more important than
the land and sea

This is flesh at
the mercy of thoughts,

sight bound by the
force of darkness

I can move through
every element labeled
by Man, praise any God
without consequence,
speak a hundred languages
and understand nothing
all at once

but she held my hand
firmly, collected every
bead of sweat from my brow
and wiped it against her
skirt;

kissed me on the lips
and held me close

she whispered
don't over think it

and I was asleep
once again

You don't want to wake up
anymore

okay, that's fine

stay in bed and watch
the clock knock space
upside it's head, like it's
a cosmic episode of
the Three Stooges

let the doors close
themselves, and lock
whatever is left
of eternity
outside

You hear someone
speak, and it makes
a little sense,

something like,
he's still in there,
should we wake him?

The eyes roll
back into their
respectable sockets,

the mouth locks
back into it's rightful
hinges

Functioning
never felt so
good, especially
under the weight
of mortality

Your hand revolts
against your mind's
fiendish desires
and coils around
the doorknob

like a thirsty desert
snake

It turns the ****,

it resembles
pouring frosting
all over a bland
bundt cake

It tastes good,

the bed no longer clings
to your body, but still
carries your sweat stains

just in case you ever
want to go back to that
sick, sad,

escape

I will always be too much for some people.
I will always be too emotional.
Too affectionate.
Too clingy.
Too needy.

I will always not be enough for some people.
I don't emote enough.
I don't display enough affection.
I don't touch enough.
I don't articulate enough.

I will always be too much.
Too damaged.
Too guarded.
Too cold.
Too paranoid.

I will always be too much.
Too strong.
Too opinionated.
Too passionate.
Too forgiving.

I will always be too much for some people,
But I'd like to think that maybe
For you,
I am just enough.