She's been heart broken too many time before. I came in the picture, just another clone to her. She sees me, she sees heartbreak. I see her and I want to show her. I want to show her that I'm not like the women from her past. Yes,they were all an exquisite taste. Breathtaking but irresponsible with her heart. I can't say that I'm the right one for her. I don't know. What I am certain is the disservice she will be doing to herself if she doesn't see me standing there, in front of her, reaching out . Tick tock, clock is running out.
With aspiration and admiration, she was in love with me. She held me down and promised to be with me. She was everything i said I wanted. She was everything I was not ready for. I made her happy. I was her world. She could never get enough of me. Enough of us. My throat started to tighten up, I couldn't breathe. The feels were coming back, feels i didn't need. I was ready to give her my all. My mind and heart were in constant battle with each other. My mind would tell me to settle down, be the one to hold her down. My heart felt otherwise. As much as I tried, it wasn't right. I tried and tried again but to no avail, she was not mine.
It started with a note followed by a couple more. Next thing I knew I was wishing she would skip the 4th and come at me with some force. I was fifteen years young and feeling sprung. This feeling was new to me. She was 18 making me fall in love so quickly. I was just a kid not thinking adult things. Her and I was something so sweet and innocent. 10 months later my heart was broken for the first time ever. **** that **** was painful. She cheated and admitted that it was my teammate who She was dealing with
I caught you, you bounced so quickly I had to catch you on the rebound. There you were, coming up to me like you knew we would be. I should have stopped you at hello, I should have let the ball roll. Instead here I go again, catching you on the rebound, nothing new just someone new. You seemed cool, why wouldn't I fool with you. I was lonely and so were you. Now don't be mad, you knew where i stood and still stand.
How did I let this go for so long, you were the poison that ****** life out of me. I tried and tried some many times before to push you out the door but you kicked your way in. With every kick I felt the hits. I begged you please, just stay away. You begged me please, don't go away. You were poison. You had a problem and I couldn't fix it. I tried to save you but you wouldn't listen. 2 years later I see you still miss me, of course you do, I was always submissive.
t's a vibe; it's a common high. Here I go again, I see her eyes and I can tell her heart is pure and innocent. I can tell from the vibe that she's down to ride. As I lay here I realize that it's time to analyze these detailed situations I so recognized many times before. I have to slow down this time around. I can't rush this feeling based on my selfish needs. If the vibe is right, their is no need for lines of lies. With this vibe, I think I might let it be just that, a vibe.
I didn't understand how I went from one relationship to the next. I still don't know. I still don't know how I've told so many women I loved them but never really meant it though. I've got this 2 year itch I can't seem to get past it. I've gone from this to that like a **** game of chest but now I'm gasping. I would like to think that I brought some good to them but as I write this down, I know I was never for them. I'm a serial dater filled with commitment issues that I can't fix. Now I'm searching for my next fix like a drug addict looking for their next hit. I'm addicted to the thought of being in love and committed to someone who I already know doesn't deserve to find out the hurt they are about to endure. I'm a *******. Clearly I have too many issues that is hard to change or better yet, maintain.