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May 2015 · 1.2k
Love and time
BertJane Perez May 2015
I have traveled this world for sixteen years
I have yet to experience love
I may be young, but I am afraid
Afraid that I'll be alone for the rest of my days...

People say I'm too young and should wait
But what if one day life decides it's too late?
Too late to love the person meant for me
Too late to love in this cruel reality...

Will I ever love someone in the years to come?
Do I even have that long before my life is done?
Life can be fickle and life can wither away
I wish love would hurry, I may only have today...

I wish life would give me the chance
The chance to find love and to feel romance
A romance so pure and without the pain of sorrow
So that I could find the strength to live for tomorrow...

I may seem desperate, but life can be unfair
I do not want to leave without knowing love in the air
I can only wish our paths will cross some way
Hopefully I can live long enough to see that day...
Apr 2015 · 3.2k
Colorless Canvas
BertJane Perez Apr 2015
My life was black and white
A colorless canvas that stood barren
Color was never essential
It was never a necessity of mine.

Yet somehow in my own dull perception
A dot had formed right in the center
A bright dot to say the least...

A peculiar thing I had never seen before
It grew slowly, little by little
A storm of color emerged with each inch
Brown, Yellow, Blue, Purple...
So many different colors

My canvas was no longer colorless
In fact it was the complete opposite.
It was not plain and it was not normal
It was now a work of art.

People gawked at its odd style
Praised it for its unusual strokes
A bizarre spectacle to most
And a quite unexpected transformation for me...

"Who painted this strange piece?"
Before I knew it people were staring at me.
Puzzling eyes that clapped in my direction

"Congratulations on your success"
Words that made me realize I was the painter
I was the one holding the brush
The "******" who painted my own path
The one who put color into my life

"Sign the painting" They all cheered
But now that I know I'm the painter
My work of art is not finished yet
I have unfinished business in my life

I cannot quit now.
Knowing that I still haven't found the right colors
The right mix of red, green or blue to solve my problems
I cannot call this a masterpiece...

My life is still a canvas
But it's not colorless anymore...
Apr 2015 · 1.5k
Garden
BertJane Perez Apr 2015
In my heart there is a garden
The garden I took so much care of
I dreamed of having simple, beautiful roses
Lovely orchids and colorful tulips

As I grew older my dreams started to change
The garden desired material things
It wanted a lovely fountain in the middle
Sprinklers and cute little gnomes on the side

But as people started visiting my garden
It started to wither as they came and went
I was so busy entertaining others
My garden started to suffer in the process

But once you stepped into my garden it came to life
You repaired every little flaw
You showed me beautiful flowers
But then you left my garden for another...

I'm trying my best to show you I'm happy how things are
But no matter how many flowers I plant
Or fountains I place inside
The only thing I long for is you inside it..
Apr 2015 · 1.8k
We are writers and poets
BertJane Perez Apr 2015
We are writers and poets who know how to express
We can define our feelings a lot more or a lot less
Why were we cursed with the ability to feel?
The feelings of life that are so painfully real...

We can make music by writing what we desire
Turning simple paper into a passionate fire
We can sway hearts by symbolizing love and creation
Or break another's by turning words into death and temptation

We are the cursed race of scholars who turn words into weapons
We can draw blood with a phrase in a matter of seconds
We are dedicated authors with emotions so heavy
That one word from us that is read or heard can be deadly

Words are our weapons, our friends and our foes
Even a writer or poet has demons that only we know
Each line is a battle and each piece is a war
We are writers and poets and we will write forevermore
Apr 2015 · 4.0k
I can never be her
BertJane Perez Apr 2015
I can never be that girl you adore
The same girl you would do anything for
Someone you've admired long before me
And someone that fits your own reality

I'm just a boy who wants to have you
But dreams like these never come true
I can never be more of a woman than her
She'll always be the one you'd prefer

Fate is so fickle and yet so so sweet
I'm glad fate decided you and I would meet
But if I had the choice to choose my path
I would forget you instead of facing love's wrath

She is your dream and your desire
And you are something I can only wish to acquire
I've accepted you and I cannot be together
Because I know in my heart I can never be her
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
One day
BertJane Perez Apr 2015
One day in Spring I'll be able to see you
Feel the wind blow through my hair
Feel the fresh flowers under my hand
Feel the love I have been missing for so long

One day in Autumn I'll be able to hold you
Feel the leaves fall on my head
Feel the cool breeze tickle my fingers
Feel the warmth of someone special in my arms

One day in Winter I'll be able to be with you
Feel the coldness of the air hit my cheeks
Feel the numbing sensation of snow in my palms
Feel the heat of lust and love together as one

One day in Summer I'll have to say goodbye
Feel the tears slide down my face
Feel the tension in my balled fists
Feel the pain of distance and farewell

One day
If I only had one more day...
I wouldn't feel my heart breaking
I wouldn't feel my heart bleeding
I wouldn't feel my life crumble away
Apr 2015 · 2.9k
I never wanted to leave
BertJane Perez Apr 2015
I never wanted to leave
The warmth of your arms
The smile in your eyes
The love in your laughter

I never wanted to leave
The softness of your touch
The smell of your hair
The love in your voice

I never wanted to leave
The pain in your heart
The tears on your face
The hurt in your soul

Because I loved you so much
I never wanted to leave.
BertJane Perez Mar 2015
You gave me flowers
And the thorns had stung my hand
And you said roses
Were the flowers for a special kind of man

I held them tight
My hands bled and I never let go
It was worth every moment
Because the pain helped me grow

The roses had died
I  had realized a little too late
Because now you're gone too
You and the roses shared the same fate

And now I stand at your grave
With tears and roses in my hand
Because you said roses
Were the flowers for a special kind of man...
R.I.P I will never forget the moments we have shared. You are engraved in my heart FOREVER. You were the most special man I've ever known.
Mar 2015 · 5.9k
My heart's determination
BertJane Perez Mar 2015
My poems are my life
They make up everything I am
They are what make me human
For my heart beats in every one

My heart has bled many times
And it continues with each word
Each line that is written
Is a new scar within my heart

Every phrase I create
Is another crack upon the surface
But every poem I complete
Is a wound that has been healed

My heart will never give up
My heart will stay beating
It will continue to bleed
and I will keep writing.
Feb 2015 · 1.5k
Remember the first time?
BertJane Perez Feb 2015
Remember the first time that you told me hello?
It was an awkward moment that I will always know
I remember us laughing in that simple, little moment
A time when we lived solely for our own enjoyment

Remember the first time that you held my hand?
A moment filled with confusion that I didn't understand
I had felt warmth and a tingling in my heart
A memory in my mind that will never depart

Remember the first time you held me in your embrace?
An action filled with love and done with such grace
My own heart started beating like an endless melody
A song that never stopped in our own little fantasy

Remember the first time that our lips finally met?
A beautiful moment I will never forget
It was like an explosion of love that I cannot truly explain
A metallic wine or the sweetest tasting champagne

Remember the first time that you told me goodbye?
The only moment we had that I wanted to die
You were gonna leave me because you needed to be free
I let you go because I knew your lover was something I could never be

Do I regret my decision?
I regret it every second that passes by
Because you will always be my first love
And my love for you will never die...
Feb 2015 · 15.6k
Goodbyes do not hurt me
BertJane Perez Feb 2015
Goodbyes never hurt me
It's always the memories that follow
To live in such a cruel reality
A world so insensitive and shallow

A goodbye is just a moment
But the memories are stuck on replay
To think we deserve such torment
We remember each and every day

A goodbye will not hurt you
But the memories will shatter your being
Break your heart into pieces
Your life may even lose meaning

Goodbyes do not hurt you
They are only the beginning
A life that was once so simple
Turned into a life so unforgiving
Feb 2015 · 1.4k
Sorry
BertJane Perez Feb 2015
I never meant to push you away
I just needed to do something that no else could do for me
And that was getting over you
As much as it hurt me to ignore you
To tell you I was too busy to talk
Just know I've always been in love with you
My heart broke every time I told you goodbye
And then turned to dust with every single chance I never took
Every moment that was wasted trying not to speak to you
I could never be just friends with you
And now you've made it clear
That I never will...
I'm **sorry
Feb 2015 · 3.6k
A life without love
BertJane Perez Feb 2015
A life without love
Is like an ocean without fish
A garden without flowers
A sound without noise

A life without love
Is a morning without coffee
A smile without joy
A word without letters

A life without love
Is a life without you
And the life I am living
Feb 2015 · 7.0k
Jealous
BertJane Perez Feb 2015
I saw you flipping through the pages of a book
And I thought to myself I'd do anything to be that book
You were interested in it
You took the time to read every line
To understand each and every word
The way your eyes stared in passion, curiosity, excitement...
The way you smiled at the new information
Everything I've always wanted you to do to me
To actually want to know me...
To actually want to understand who I am...
To smile because you learned something new about me...
To flip through my pages and learn about my life...
Who knew I'd be jealous of a book?
Feb 2015 · 1.6k
Love?
BertJane Perez Feb 2015
They say the first one to fall in love
Will always be the first one to fall
HARD.
I didn't believe them
Then I saw you
And now I wonder...
When will I ever get back on my feet again?
Jan 2015 · 1.5k
Lather, Rinse and Repeat
BertJane Perez Jan 2015
Be my poison and be my drugs
Give me lustful kisses and tighter hugs
Love me with pain and show me the pleasure
Bury me in lust like your hidden treasure

Caress my body and stroke my face
Pull my hair and let our bodies race
Moan your curses and scream your shame
Bite my skin in this lustful game

Give me more you're my addiction
I love the heat and I love the friction
Slap me here and scratch me there
Show me your eyes, your **** stare

Punish me I need to be taught by my master
Keep going! Don't stop! I want it to go faster!
I'm gonna burst! This deed is almost complete!
When we're done lets lather, rinse and repeat.
Jan 2015 · 6.7k
Exams
BertJane Perez Jan 2015
Dear exams,

      I'm sorry to say, but I've lost all interest in you. I don't see why I didn't
lose interest in you sooner to be completely honest. I use to love learning
new things and cramming useless information into my cranium, but I must
say that forcing myself to study to pass your standards is just not who I am.There's no need to throw a question I cannot answer in my face whenever you're upset. Nor do I have to explain myself to you for that matter. Has anyone told you you ask a lot of questions?

      I must admit that I am not perfect, but neither are you. You are filled
with errors and flaws that I must say are simple mistakes. I will always
remember you, but I don't think my memory of you will be a fond one...
I am grateful for all the support you've given me especially with my
grades, but I will admit that understanding you was difficult. I remember
hopelessly thinking about you all night after seeing you. I felt terrible
because I literally had no idea how to go about answering your fifty
questions. Even though you gave me choices it was still a difficult decision
to make. I went home that night disappointed thinking that I had messed
up my only chance with you.

      But now you're back, but I admit I am definitely not excited about it.
And I will see you again today, which like I said I am not excited about. I
guess that all we can ever be now is acquaintances. A student to exam
relationship that definitely bares no love what so ever. I cannot wait to be
done with you. As they say, there are a million exams in the library...
And they should all be thrown away.

P.S: The paper shredder was looking for you.

                                                                                      Sincerely,
                                                                                        The unhappy student
Jan 2015 · 2.0k
Because love isn't fair
BertJane Perez Jan 2015
You told me "I love you"
You said that you care
But now we are strangers
Because love isn't fair...

What happened to your commitment?
What happened to everything you said?
Why is our life now so different
Than the one we had once led?

Was it my mistake for leaving?
Was it your mistake for letting me go?
My life has lost all meaning
And I just wanted you to know...

I told you "I love you"
I told you I care
Our love now is broken
Because love isn't fair...
Jan 2015 · 1.5k
The Friend Zone
BertJane Perez Jan 2015
The friend zone is a painful place to stay
A place you will be trapped in for longer than a day
You will feel the hopelessness of being just a friend
The never ending feeling of having to pretend

You never know which day you'll finally be free
So I'll share a little secret between you and me
The friend zone is a jail cell, so stop wasting your time
It's almost like manslaughter, if wanting someone were a crime

You've got what it takes to finally leave
But you think they like you, is that what you believe?
The friend zone is higher than Mt.Everest and harder to climb
You're wasting so much effort, money and probably time

Turn your back on people who have so many to choose
Just take your pride and walk away, you've got nothing to lose
If they put you in the friend zone, it's almost never reversed
So don't be someone's second choice, if they are your first.
Dec 2014 · 1.2k
No longer an Angel
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
We are all born angels
Everyone at every single place
I was one such angel
But I've fallen from my grace...

Dear God forgive me
I do not wish to cause you shame
But a sin I have committed
And I'm the only one to blame...

Your virtue of love and innocence
I seem to have given away
I didn't mean to cause you trouble
So please hear me while I pray...

Dear God, I am a broken angel
My wings will no longer spread
Please forgive me and all my sins
Because disappointing you is what I dread...

I'm sorry for giving up my virtue
I'm sorry for throwing it away
Please forgive me and my sins
and please hear me while I pray...
Dec 2014 · 821
Thank you!
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
Thank you for all the support
Thank you for all you've done
Thank you to all my followers
For helping me hit fifty-one

I know it's a small thing
but guys, that's big enough for me
Seriously thank you all
You've made me all so happy!

I hope this group will grow
Because my journey will not end here
I hope you guys are with me
For Christmas and for the New Year! <3
Thanks guys <3
Dec 2014 · 1.5k
One night stand
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
Kiss my lips and stare into my eyes
I'll forget all your faults and all of your lies.
I'll give you a chance, it's only one night of pleasure.
A night of love making that won't last forever.

We met by chance because we were both quite alone
So let's have a little fun in the no strings attached zone
We can play mature games without any regret
But when our time ends, please remember to forget

I could care less about who you are and what you do
You're just a one nighter and someone to *****
We can smile, we can laugh, but don't expect any love to come your way
I just needed some pleasure, some pain, so goodbye and have a nice day.
Dec 2014 · 952
My pain
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
This sadness I feel
It depresses me...
I just don't know anymore...
I don't fake smiles
Everyone can see how I feel...
"Are you tired? What's wrong?"
They'll never understand...
Neither will I..
This empty feeling.
Yet I know there is something inside me
I can feel the pain
It's definitely there, it never left...
It never stops
I wish it would, but it stays...
I just don't know anymore...
Actually, I never really did
And probably never will...
Dec 2014 · 9.8k
Peculiar Protection
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
We are all unique in many ways that all of us can see
But some people are too peculiar, people like you and me
We aren't like the others, we're peculiar beings of this place
We're born with individual talents that no one can erase...

My friends, we each have something special, but something to hide
The world isn't ready for the abilities we all keep inside
We are being hunted, a fate we peculiars must face
Run quickly to safety into the arms of a ymbryne's embrace

As you read this message, know that a hollow lurks near
But remember your gift, you have nothing to fear
Tread carefully and find us at the loops in any direction
On the other side of our haven you will find Peculiar protection.
Dec 2014 · 1.7k
Prisoner of time
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
Please don't forget me, don't make me your past
I know time is fleeting, time is moving too fast...
Every second of everyday I'm a prisoner thinking about you
What could have been, what should have been, if only we knew...

Don't make me an old memory that you ignore everyday
Because time keeps on ticking and I might fade away...
I'm stuck in the past and you and me are turning to dust
I've lost all my freedom and we are beginning to rust...

So before we wither and before you lock me into your past
Please know that behind these bars, I have only one thing to ask...
Don't forget me, don't forget all the things in the past
Because I'm a prisoner of time and time is moving too fast...
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
You are a rose and I am a simple leaf
People adore you while I watch from the trees
You handle yourself with dignity and pride
While I'm easily swept by the wind's blowing tide

You are a rose the most confident of them all
And I am a leaf that can easily fall
You have this beauty that radiates love
That beauty you have I could sense from above

You are a rose that can only stay in the grass
And I am a leaf that wishes to be with you at last
But you are a rose and I am a simple leaf
People will adore you, while I can only watch from the trees
Dec 2014 · 1.3k
Three simple words
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
You told me three simple words.
The three words I've always wanted to hear...
I pictured us happy
I pictured us together...
Living our lives through thick and through thin
And then you'd say "I love you"
Those three simple words...
And then our life would begin...
It would begin together...

But instead we live a lie
Instead we live apart
Living our lives through regret and through sin
That's when you said those three simple words...
"I love you" those three simple words
It was when our life ended...
Because you said it to another...
Those three simple words...
Dec 2014 · 2.0k
I cry in September
BertJane Perez Dec 2014
I cry in September because I want to restart!
Every single moment, even the ones that broke my heart
You were my all, you were my Autumn!
You were my Fall, but I think you've forgotten...

I cry in September because there's no longer an "us"!
We broke each other's hearts and broke each other's trust
I'm willing to bury all those seeds of regret
If you and me both agree that we should forget...

I cry in September, I cry each and every time!
We both know that we committed an unforgivable crime
To break this relationship is exactly like committing a ******!
We both need to understand that we both did this together...

I cry in September because this seems like the end...
I not only lost a lover, but also a friend...
I'll never forget all our moments together...
Because of you, because of us, I cry in September...
Nov 2014 · 1.2k
Who you are
BertJane Perez Nov 2014
You are a book with many pages
You are a fabric with an endless design
You are a quote that has a moral lesson
You are a flower that has yet to bloom

I wish to see what's written inside you
I wish to examine the quality of who you are
I wish to understand what you mean
I wish to nurture you into what you have yet to become

I want to finish reading every word
I want to create you into a masterpiece
I want to use you in my sentences
I want to care for you, before you bloom

I will share your whole story with the world
I will show them you are the most gorgeous gown
I will show them the importance of using you in sentences
I will show them your beauty before you wilt.
BertJane Perez Nov 2014
When did you become more than just a friend?
I don't remember ever giving you permission to drive me crazy...
I never asked you to make me fall madly and helplessly in love with you.
I blame you, it's your fault!
Because of you I can't look you in the face without hurting.
I can't speak to you without losing control of what I might say.
You make me nervous, you drive me nuts.
I want to love you...
I want you to love me!
I want you to share what I feel. The pain, the passion and the lust.
But this is too much.
I have to forget you, I have to keep you away.
I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry for what I said.
I'm sorry for the pain and the tears I made you cry.
I'm sorry for losing a friend, but in the end,
You will always be more than just a friend...
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
Remember
BertJane Perez Nov 2014
A memory...
A reminder of who you were
Who you are
What you were
What you will be

Think, think, think
Remember...
Those moments in time
Those ideas
Those dreams
Those thoughts

Remember
Who you wanted to be
What you wanted to see

The love, the hate
The joy, the sadness
The simple, the complex
Remember...

The failure, the success
The dreams
The goals
Remember...

That's who you are
That's who you were
That's who you will become.
Remember?
Nov 2014 · 765
My last drop of ink
BertJane Perez Nov 2014
I write this letter to you
With my last drop of ink
I write to express myself
I write to help you understand

Each letter, each curve
Each line that I make
I write with my last drop of ink

I want to tell you these things
I want you to know me for me
I write to explain
I write for personal gain

With each stroke that I painlessly wrote
With each second it took to write this
I write for you
I write for me
I write for us...
I write with my last drop of ink
Nov 2014 · 925
Who are you?
BertJane Perez Nov 2014
Who are you really? I don't understand...
What on earth made you into this kind of man?
I try to read all the pages that you let me see
But you're still a closed book when you talk to me

All the words you spill out and the things that you say
Are hard to interpret when you have your own way
Why choose a stranger? Why someone like me?
Am I worth all your thoughts? Is that what you see?

You're not like the others, you're special, one of a kind.
But why live a lie? Please leave that part of you behind.
You're better off being who you truly want to be.
You're disguise isn't worth it, it's complete trickery.

I won't let you down. I'll listen to everything you want me to hear.
Even though your personality is what I mostly fear.
I'm afraid of you because you're a complete mystery.
But one day I'll show you, you were right to trust me...

— The End —