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May 27 · 101
Democracy
AvengingPoet May 27
Wake up with that cup of coffee
Notifications blasting up the phone
Incompetence from the Oval Office
Tired petty arguments of a 12 year old
When 100,000 are dead

Just admit it
You ****** up

Place the blame on anyone else, right?
That’s easy, right?
Distract the citizens with tweets
Conspiracy theories, lies, and deception
Democracy crumbling in this wonderful Republic

Do we have enough time to save this all?
Have we gone too far backwards?
Are we constrained?

Another black man dead by the hands of the state
But **** it, blue lives matter, right?
Blue lives ain’t a race
Would the president even bother to utter a word about it?
Nah, he’s racist as **** and don’t give a ****

The MSNBC host who didn’t ****** someone
Is more important
Waste time, who cares?
Millions unemployed
Open up the country because we are just human capital
Just numbers for the stock market, right?

Make profits for your rich pals
Leave office
Success!

I throw the cup of coffee on the ground
I’m tired
I’m so tired

Democracy is coming to the USA
...or at least I hope so.
**** trump, vote in November
Apr 15 · 1.2k
Pandemic
AvengingPoet Apr 15
Burning world
Computerized cynics

The lies flood in
On the media screens
Just accept it all
From the fool at the top
He wants the views
The narcissism and ego
The failure of man
That is what
The most powerful leader in the free world
Has become

Sad and tiring each and everyday
Day in, day out
Coffee and klonopin to get through a day
Can barely breath in the house’s stuffy air

But I am privileged
I can still work and be safe in a bubble
The others deliver food and groceries
And are on the frontlines
While the man on top continues to ******* lie

He praises a job well done
While I say to myself, “go **** yourself”
A monstrous man scaring us all

I hope the ******* Big Macs take you out soon enough.
Oct 2019 · 252
Promise Me This
AvengingPoet Oct 2019
Promise me this,
My breath is shaking,
An unwillingness to grieve,
One, two, three times,
Won’t get em’
No they won’t

Spirit of fairness
No we don’t have that
Cutthroat attitudes for a Pretty Penny
Morbid Grand Displays

Material world is unsanitary
My breath is shaking
An unwillingness to grieve
One, two, three times
Won’t get em’
No they won’t
Promise me this.
AvengingPoet Sep 2019
I laugh and cry and laugh
And cry again

These mixed emotions
Wondering if this is all there really is

Coffee breaks and tension headaches
And endless droning on in dimly lit halls

Making a measly paycheck
To barely afford the rent

Solace in a fast food sandwich or two
Dying slowly, a calculated death

Life is boring,
We can barely afford it

Giving us no time
Instead of it all

I sit, contemplating it all
Writing these stupid words

Wondering was it all really worth it
Was this the plan along?
Were we the puppets on the string,
Dancing endlessly for the carrot
We won’t obtain?

I shall never know.
Jul 2019 · 148
Hounds of the Digital Space
AvengingPoet Jul 2019
The hounds of space
Controlling and dictating
Your every thought and feeling
No thoughts for yourself

Out of breath
From the overwhelming data
God I just wanna run from it all
A needle in my ******* arm

I’m just a lurker
Watching the 1’s and 0’s
Explode in a negative fireworks display
Another day, another day...

The hounds of the digital space
Biting and gnawing at you
Drowning in blood
Seeking more and more everyday...
Jul 2019 · 143
McDonald’s
AvengingPoet Jul 2019
I’m a mechanized piece of dirt
And I don’t want it anymore

But the demands have uprooted
Anything I ever wanted or dreamed of

I guess this is the hand that was dealt
In our Americanized dream

I don’t wanna deal with it anymore
But let’s face it, there’s nowhere to run anyhow

The noise is constantly buzzing
I need the white noise to sleep

But I never get enough rest anyhow
A cup of coffee just to function for the day

Not sure if I’m cynical or just facing a reality
But I know there’s something better out there

9-5, cups of coffee, entertainment to **** the time
I guess that’s all that was needed

Lights are out, it’s time to go
Little moments of purpose.
May 2019 · 127
No Pause
AvengingPoet May 2019
its not as if to say-
No pause

Another 1 am crisis
Thinking of what the hell im doing
Or why im here
im not some suicidal man
Truly im not, youre not weak if you are

But let me explain-
No pause

There’s nothing to explain
The point is
I dont know what im doin’
But maybe for the first time in awhile
Thatll be ok

Do you surely think so?

I dont have an answer
im sure you dont either.
No Pause. Take a deep breath. Stand tall.
Apr 2019 · 109
On This Particular Sunday
AvengingPoet Apr 2019
A dreaded sense of pointlessness
Plagues another Sunday
As the drowning of the day’s debts
Takes handle over all things

Warm and grey
A typical day
Swallowing of pride
To remain modest for no one at all

But this particular Sunday
It spoke itself into existence
With its peculiar nature and mysterious ways
It won its victory of the day

It is not as though all days are pointless and plagued
But sometimes it is hard to not feel as though
We’re leaning on nothing it all and losing balance
On this particular Sunday

I’m gasping for air
Unsure of what to do
On this particular Sunday
Mar 2019 · 383
This American Dream
AvengingPoet Mar 2019
A small piece
Of Americana
Maybe it isn’t all that bad

I live for it
I’m indoctrinated by it
I thrive for it
But each day is a darkening challenge
In This American Dream

I’m told I can go my own way
But is it all a lie
Told to us on digital screens
That make us shake and ache
Like a man looking for another dose

Cliches and buzzwords
Ones and zeroes
America, were you ever there?
God, I sure don’t know

I hear the art and culture
The music of New York and Texas and California
The comic fantasies of Marvel and D.C.
Your writers of fictions
And your Hollywood Dream Factory Machine
But do I pull myself up by the bootstraps
Or simply check my Twitter again?

But it probably doesn’t matter at all
I’m glad you’re here, with your vast land of religious zealots and cultural pockets

Everyday I hate you
Everyday I love you.

God Bless The USA
Mar 2019 · 166
I’m a man now, boy
AvengingPoet Mar 2019
I’m simply suggesting
Clamoring and asking
But I’m a man now, boy

The water is running
The drain is busted
But I’m a man now, boy

And so I ask you another question
In ***** of anxiety
But I’m a man now, boy

I want to run away
I’m certain I can
But I’m a man now, boy

I have one last thing to say
Is the numbness everlasting
Oh god it’s so mundane
Day in, day out
Same ****, different struggle
I guess I’m a man now, boy

My lungs filled with air
I guess this is living.
Jan 2019 · 356
Red and White Hats
AvengingPoet Jan 2019
The sounds of another toxic culture
Letting out their voices
In red and white hats
With ******* answers to ******* problems
That don’t exist but the man on the cold screen
Told em’ it was true
Well, my friend, they told you a lie

What’s real or fake
It’s hard to tell
When the businessman
On the television
And tablet screens
Demands once again:
“It’s fake news!”
And the uneducated eat it up
Ignoring the fact
It’s like eating a Big Mac
For breakfast and lunch and dinner
Clogging your brain with absolute junk

Another day
Ten thousand more buzzes on my phone
Of breaking news

Maybe I should just throw the **** thing in a ******* river
And meditate and medicate for as long as I can
God knows I’m tired
God knows I’m tired...

And the kids in the red and white hats
Are standing in the way
To keep on a legacy
With historical ignorance
That only says:
“I belong here. You don’t. Stay out.”

God knows I’m tired.
Jan 2019 · 161
I Stand Corrected
AvengingPoet Jan 2019
Some life’s eternal purpose,
I take notes upon notes on the screen in front of me,
Questioning every little breath I take,
What the hell am I doing here?

Yet, I stand corrected,
As a fleeting moment of grace comes fluttering forward,
Lord knows I haven’t really tried,
To encapsulate this moment.

And so I have another existential crisis,
Where I claim to myself that I know it all,
Without realizing,
I know nothing at all.

Yet, I stand corrected,
Filling my brain with some kind of knowledge,
On a city upon a hill,
My teeth are clean and razor sharp.
Nov 2018 · 59
Perfectly Okay
AvengingPoet Nov 2018
God, I’m so overwhelmed
I’m so tired
I got a full eight hours
Yet I never caught up at all
And I’m tired once again
And again

I’m not quite sure how much longer I can function like this
But a warm embrace has saved me from a graceless death
Without it,
I’m not quite sure
Where the **** I would be

I sit around and read all these things I’m told to read
To get good marks
For some apparent reason
I think I’m learning
But honestly,
I haven’t been sure for years

I’m getting by, I’m sure it’ll be all right
Yet I stare out the window, expecting something more
Is this really all there is?
Another cup of coffee, another thing to read, another thing to write
This is all that is expected of me

In all actuality, I don’t ******* matter
But maybe that’s perfectly okay
Perfectly okay…

It’s so cold outside
And I need a new vision
I hope it comes to me soon…
I hope it comes to me soon…
AvengingPoet Oct 2018
Oh ****
This **** is gonna ****
But I’ll get my numbers up
And make it some day

I suppose I can breathe today
The air is grimy
Yet I still feel alive for a few seconds
This rain fills in a bucket
I’ll carry it to a farm
And live some inconsequential simple life
All by myself

Oh but how silly does that sound
You’ll never escape the noise
It is going to be there forever
Nagging and nagging and nagging
Until you die

You may ask what this is
Oh don’t you worry
It is of no concern
No alarms and no surprises

I tell you to come here
I whisper in your ear
“It’ll be okay”
Not quite sure if I believe it either.
Oct 2018 · 194
Infinite Content
AvengingPoet Oct 2018
Oh the glorious content
And the endless 1’s and 0’s
Lord I can barely breathe

I’m asking for some relaxation
But all I’m getting is a more stressful equation
Oh the infinite content

A shame that we want to entertain us all
Without asking what the hell we’re even doing
Make sure you follow all the news
It’s too late, I have new content I must obtain
From timelines and feeds
That are constantly calling
This silly amount of selfish content
Oh, I feel it has given me so much
But has it given me anything at all
Except a static reaction
That gives a cold sense of empathy

For only a brief moment...
For only a brief moment...
Sep 2018 · 212
An American Dream
AvengingPoet Sep 2018
I sit back, wandering and wavering
I’m not quite sure where I am in this plot
But I don’t think it is six feet under
I try my best to listen
But I’m just doing okay
And God only knows when the hell it’ll be great.

Oh the energy I lack
For all the *******
Four years of this schooling
Four years of that schooling
While barely surviving
What a crock of ****.

I don’t hate it all
It was educational some of the time
But now I leave within a few months
With confusion and fuzzy memories
Of things I never did
And things I never wanted to do

What an American Dream I’m living.
AvengingPoet Jul 2018
I don’t matter
But that’s alright
Just another speck
On this pale blue dot
Filled with infinite content
And I laugh and laugh and be entertained
Christ, is this all there really is?
Does any of this matter?
I don’t matter

I feel drained
Another day
Can’t even focus on the coffee cup
The only thing keeping me going
Is the falseness of this American Dream
Oh man I’m already a debt slave
But I’ll get through it
When I’m 50
I feel drained

But there’s no cause for concern
We wouldn’t wanna upset the status quo
Get a good job pay those debts
Can you breathe yet?
Probably not
No alarms and no surprises
The true American Dream
As you drown in the poison
But there’s no cause for concern

One last time for the people in the back
I’m having a heart attack but I made it to 50
I ate like **** and it’s my time to die
But I got my quiet suburban home
And a wife that I love
And 2 beautiful children
And a job I hate
One last time for the people in the back

Maybe I’m being too cynical
It’s not that bad
There’s tragic flaws surrounding the great US of A
But I’ve gotta be me, I’ve gotta function
Even if I don’t matter
I can breathe and that’s a relief
Maybe I’m just being too cynical...

Does any of this matter?
Jul 2018 · 116
Maybe Some Other Time
AvengingPoet Jul 2018
Another morning is at my door
Oh god not once more
This loneliness is creeping in again
Put a face on today
“How are you”
“Good.”

I’m ******* dying inside.

You keep my breathing
You’re the only reason I don’t blow my brains out
I promise I’m not suicidal
Just having a rough ******* day

I’m not looking for anything in particular
Just for this next week to end
So I can leave this land of the lonely
And get back to where I belong
With the one I love

And oh the fake facades
Put on by all of the human populace
As they go into work once again

God I hate this all.

I wish life was more kind
I’m in a dead zone
I can’t answer your call
Maybe sometime soon...

Maybe some other time.
Jun 2018 · 284
Can you allow it?
AvengingPoet Jun 2018
I’m trying to take in some oxygen
But **** I feel restricted

I wanna be myself
But I feel like it might not be allowed
And how sad is that?

I appreciate what you’ve done
It was kind and pure
But now I feel destroyed
Again, and again, and again

But at last,
I found my love
But oh you hold distaste for her
And I wonder and wonder why
I fear I’ll never know.

One last set of lines
I swallow my pride and a ring shines brightly
The worst fear lingers inside
You awake in shame
With worries of finances and nothing else
But I feel alive this time...I feel alive this time

Can you allow it?
Jun 2018 · 118
Reality Is Killing Me
AvengingPoet Jun 2018
Oh how most of you don’t realize the luck you have
Your health and you’re breathing

Fears of sudden death lurking
Mental health falling apart
But she’s just trying to keep herself going

I lurk in a dark corner
Unsure of what I can do
My support is all I can offer
I’d give every single thing up right now
To make sure you’d always be okay
But I can’t...no I can’t...
Reality is killing me.

I’ll escape again
Find myself again

But Christ she better live
I can’t imagine my life without her

Jesus Christ man, you’ve got it so lucky
You can breath again today and not worry

I swallow in the night air
Not sure if I’ll exhale this time.

Don’t worry about me,
I’m fine.
Sickness, disability, depression, anxiety, health, Love
Jun 2018 · 189
Anxious Sea
AvengingPoet Jun 2018
Maybe I’m truly alive this time
I said a lot of stupid ****
But maybe that stupid **** is real ****

There’s no doubts about this
I don’t have any motion sickness
I’m just glad you wouldn’t leave

Three years by my side
Gave me the courage
To ******* function

Everyday I’m just trying not to drown
As I observe and observe
But I’ve got nothing to say
Oh, I’ve got nothing to say
And I’m just treading the water
I’m an addict to this anxious sea

Self-care, time after time
I can do this
The shakes and trembles and the tectonic plates
Oh, how I just wanna be normal
But is there anything as cruel as a normal person?

I don’t think so.

I’m truly alive this time.
Jun 2018 · 235
Stars Gonna Align
AvengingPoet Jun 2018
Messing with a half truth
My heart just ain’t into it

But I’m into you, ****,
I felt awesome when you walked in

GOOD music, **** I vibe with
Don’t think I’ll be seeing ghosts no more

Don’t worry about me
I’ve been fine since you walked in

I think I’m in control
Or is this the anxiety attack they told me about

I don’t wanna go back to my old ways
Before you walked in
My lung was collapsed
But that **** doing fine

I’m feeling something right

**** I guess this is the first time?

Stars gonna ******* align.
Jun 2018 · 315
Fuck an Internship
AvengingPoet Jun 2018
Dreaded humid air
In this place for an internship
I didn’t wanna do
Because being apart from you
Is ******* hell on earth

Just wanna follow you around
I’m a sad ****** up puppy
A bottle of depression and anxiety
In every waking moment

Oh Christ
I can barely function

60 more days or so of this ****
June and July
The humidity will engulf me
Christ it’s a lonely lonely world out here

A roommate who supports an insane man in the highest office
Internet that barely works, my only escape

I take a few deep breaths
I can make it through this day
Please, for the love of god, I need to make it through this day
Make it to August.

**** an internship
**** a career.
Mar 2018 · 509
On This Optimistic Hill
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
I can’t die on this hill of cynicism
Or I’ll simply be preventing myself from breathing
These days of accelerated fireworks
With so much to consume I can barely function
It’s hard for me to take it all

But I can
And I will.

I’m not asking for much of anything at all
A comfortable home and a family I can love
Because I was robbed of the second
By the harsh sentiments
Of so-called adults.

I can live on this hill of optimism
Because you can do whatever you want
Is what a man once told me
And well, it is, in fact, true
It may take some time
For the finances to come together
Or your dreams to culminate
But you can do nearly whatever you want
If you choose to live on this hill of optimism
And live a life of why not’s
Get rid of the why’s
That’ll guarantee death on the cynical hill.

And so I’m not asking for much of anything at all
A comfortable home and a family I can love
And I’m getting closer and closer to making this a reality.

This whirlwind will slow down
At the very least I can hope
On This Optimistic Hill.
Mar 2018 · 513
New York, I won't come home
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
New York, I won’t come home
Not even if you call
This arcade is on fire
And I laugh and laugh
Sickening.

The blistering cold winters
That took away my soul
In this suburban hell hole
Filled with computerized cynics.

Please don't even call
I won’t pick it up
I never answer the phone anyhow
Why would this be any different?

It surely won’t be.
It surely won’t be.

New York, I won’t come home.
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
My love for this girl
Oh, it is all I have
To take me away from this hellish hometown
To start somewhere new where constraints won’t fail me

Where the air is a bit warmer
And where people maybe even care, a little bit
All I ask for is a little bit
A half-light

The ocean is collapsing in on me in this hometown of mine
The ocean is expanding anywhere that isn’t this hometown
This ******* hometown
Maybe all I want is anything but this

Is that good enough?
Will I bloom?
Will the tortured memories of the past drag me down?
**** they migh-

**** my hometown.
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
At least I had my books
They were never enough
And that was the deepest problem of them all
Only liars will tell you they don’t need anyone

My parents and their love of hating everyone
And their superiority to everyone else in this hometown
But everyone in this suburb thinks they’re better than everyone else
And I suppose that’s the greatest joke of them all

I took a walk on this dark, cold March evening
Along the sidewalks of the neighborhood I barely felt I could recognize
It felt like walking without a thought in my head
It drained my brain instantaneously

All I can think is how I need to get away
The evils of this school break
I don’t want to be cruel
Oh, but I have my lov-
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
Maybe my thoughts were taken away from me
By those Demons in the Nighttime
Oh, how they took everything I loved
My parents and those selfish causes

Sitting in, an empty room
Searching in, an empty room
Breathing in, an empty room
Taking in, an empty room

Oh how it looks unrecognizable to me these days
And I feel like a stranger in this empty room
In this home that feels empty
With parents who have clearly lost it

And oh how every individual action is judged
In this ******* hometown of mine
By my parents, by the family, by the people
But I had my book-
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
But maybe I deserve this ******* hometown
It was gifted to me at birth
Something I never wanted
My roots, *******

Come back here and my depression elevates
Memories of few friends in high school
And hating everything around me
Air colder than anything you’ll ever breath

But I had my stupid words
Writing a thousand words a day
All these poems to write down my thoughts
Oh that nobody will ever read

But that’s perfectly okay
I have my thoughts
I had my thoughts
I had my tho-
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
This boredom will be the death of me
Coming back to this undesirable hometown
Filled with lonely memories and deathly cold winters
Oh, how I wish to never come back here again.

Those high school graduates who will never leave
And stay in their miserable hometown
Nothing to do, nothing to say
Can barely ******* breathe I feel so restrained.

And I will surely never stay here
With its utterly cookie-cutter suburban homes
Its ungodly taxes to pay for nothing to do
And roads with insurmountable potholes

Maybe I’ll be able to breathe again soon
But right now my lungs feel red and raw
My eyes are blinded
By this ******* hometown.
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
I don’t wanna be another ****** guy
You’re the only one who accepts me for who I am
Erratic sometimes insane unsure of where the **** I am
We can be ****** up together

The only one giving me the time of a day
In a lonely lonely world
That takes far more than it gives
Quit your job
Be broke be happy
Stop doing things that make you miserable

Alan Watts in this *****
**** at least you’re breathing
If you want to be you
Be you
Don’t
Let anyone take that **** away

She doesn’t take that away from me...
Why does everyone wanna take it
Why does everyone wanna take it
She doesn’t take that away from me...

The air finally feels clean
I can breathe once more
**** I hope it lasts
Mar 2018 · 297
A Steadier Footing
AvengingPoet Mar 2018
But I cannot even function
Without you by my side
It’s a **** shame that I can barely take the day-by-day
The grind of everything that shall be, this natural world

A focus on all that is good and pure
Those things I love and cherish
You most of all
The only thing that keeps me from losing it all…

I hope I don’t die on this hill
This place that looks like something out of a painting
Yet only seems to hold emptiness and loneliness
As we’re surrounded by the shapes of silence and the suffering of thousands

The tectonic plates are starting to shake
And I’m afraid I’m starting to lose balance
Maybe you can keep my balance steady as I need to find

That steadier footing.

I’m not sure if I can
But the day-by-day
The shaking, the shapes of silence taking form
At all hours of the night
Well, I can barely sleep
But at least you’re right next to me

What is the meaning of this?
I’m sure I’ll probably never know.
AvengingPoet Feb 2018
The inconceivable truth of the reputable youth
Who are trying to live out their inconceivable dreams
As you hammer down on them to tell them
They’re wrong
Without realizing it was you the whole time.

They say empathy takes energy
And indeed it does
But maybe we’ve run out
But God I hope not.

I can only take so much
Of these attacks by Computerized Cynics.

And sometimes I swallow the pill too…
Sometimes I swallow the pill too…
Feb 2018 · 301
Frigid
AvengingPoet Feb 2018
Frigid Cold,
Cat Stevens playing,
Kindling the fire,
My heart is falling apart,
Hopes killed in these halls,
I just want a modest life like the modest mouse I am,
Recapture those high school hopes I had of being something different,

Being who I am.

Being the individual I’m meant to be,
**** em all then,
Do what you want when you wanna do it,

What do I desire?
Nov 2017 · 267
Anytown, U.S.A.
AvengingPoet Nov 2017
Maybe I lost that innocence a long time ago
A strange thing indeed
Maybe we should ride bikes
In Anytown, U.S.A.
But I’m not sure it’s there anymore

Trick or treating
Pouring all the candy outta the bag after getting a large haul
****, we thought we were kings
But we probably weren’t much of anything
Just another soul on that pale blue dot

But I’m not here to wax poetic on how terrible my life is or was
Because it's not
All I can hope for is to tend to a garden
Improving it day in and day out

Raising a family of my own someday
While ride through adulthood
Confused and disheveled
But is that really any different from my past naivety?
Aug 2017 · 287
lone wolf (for awhile)
AvengingPoet Aug 2017
Rift up in here
Conflict not feeling it
Lonely and sick
Me I’m a lone wolf
Got her and I need to see her again

Drive in the car
Take a left turn
Looking out for the potholes
Tunes driving out all sound around me
**** will you answer
Do I got any drive left
What the **** am I
What the **** am I doing
Why are you hurting again
What is it this time
What the **** is even going on
Why isn’t it September yet
Leaves turned so I get to see color
It’s been too sunny when I’ve felt grey
Yo seriously **** summer

I don’t want this **** anymore
Open up the next door
Get the **** out of middletown
All my friends here
No ******* clue what they’re doing
Parents hanging around
Judging every move

But I look out for the potholes
Drive around
Go pound for pound
Music blasting
**** em all

Me I’m a lone wolf
Need to see her again
Maybe I won’t be a lone wolf (for awhile)
Or maybe I will (for awhile)

Friends, food for the soul, and her
**** is all I need
but I’m being pushed by adults to do other ****
**** you’re all a bunch of kids and won’t admit
but just tell me why I’m wrong again
I don’t give a **** anymore

I’ll be havin’ fun
Find some time to do something
This **** is a mess
Words on a stupid document
But that’s okay
I’ll find some time to do something
This boredom is killing me.

**** all those adults in their narrow hallways
I’ll press myself to a greater place where finances aren’t all that matters
and try to have as much fun as I can
and maybe not be a lone wolf (for awhile)
Aug 2017 · 341
I wanna live life
AvengingPoet Aug 2017
I wanna live life
and hope to never be cruel
I wanna live life
and be open and honest
I wanna live life
and have friends around

Go somewhere with cleaner prospects
raise a family of my own someday
and never be cruel

I need confidence in you
and you need to give confidence in me
or this loneliness will **** me
and yet it seems to mostly fade away
when I’m around you

I wanna live life
and hope to never be cruel
I wanna live life
and be open and honest
I wanna live life
and have friends around

Find a job
make some money
and hope my head full of dreams didn’t die entirely
but I suppose it’s okay if you’re around for the rest of my life
It is, isn’t it?

Sometimes doubts cloud my thoughts
thoughts of what if’s and questions of concern
but I push it down and don’t swallow this pill
i know it can’t be true
it’s a ******* fallacy, ain’t it?

I wanna live life
and hope to never be cruel
I wanna live life
and be open and honest
I wanna live life
and have friends around

You’re the medicine and the pill I needed to take all along
A family life that ******* destroyed you
Parents of narcissistic nature
who tore you the **** apart
and I have to pick up the rest of the pieces
You’ll never completely heal
I can only take away a bit of the pain
I’ll try my best and never be cruel

I wanna live life
and hope to never be cruel
I wanna live life
and be open and honest
I wanna live life
and have friends around

I want to live life with you

Everything's not lost
Sensitive, open, and strong
We’ve had it all along.
Aug 2017 · 304
Summer Nights
AvengingPoet Aug 2017
Just tryin’ to be a good guy
No ‘real’ worries over here
You talk so much more than I do
Staying quiet on those summer nights
In my room
Music playing
Reading more ****
I can be my own best friend
While apart
If only for a moment

My phone is buzzing
Too many ******* texts
Interrupting everything too much
Low sleep in my body
1,2 cups of coffee
Survive every night, ****

Not sure where i’m going
But i’ve had these past 2 and a half years
Feel good for it all
Ups and downs
But mostly on an up&up

Summer nights
Dreadful humid loneliness
Without my love
Always at my side

Can’t have silence
No silence-
music playing
never stop

summer ni-

**** summer.
Aug 2017 · 307
Enjoy Right Now, Today
AvengingPoet Aug 2017
I don’t expect anyone
to do anything for me
all I’m asking for is the one I need in my life
mirror mirror on the wall
who is the most ****** up of em all
maybe it’s me but more than likely it ain’t
i’m alone half the time but i got my music
my books and i have your love when we’re together
apart right now but we’ll stay together
at least i know this for sure
it’s what i got going for me
2 and a half years brightest moments of my life
growing up achieved and maturity being reached
being with you has made me feel like i can glow
the world around me can fade away half the time
as long as i know you’ll be around
and that’s the truest ****
maybe this is a love poem maybe this isn’t ****
stupid **** is real ****
that’s all i really know
**** the politics and bring everyone together again
just for three seconds
life is a beautiful crayon box
stupid and ******* corny i know that ****
but you need to Enjoy Right Now, Today
or you’re gonna go insane
you gotta fight whatever it is that’s taking you down
find someone to love and find someone to care about
you’ll finally realize what life is worth living for
maybe that’s just me
this is a selfish work
someone with a little bit of logic
said we gotta get up today and find a way
we gotta wonder what it feel like
achieve that ******* goal
we gonna be aight
some superior cynics will tell you otherwise
slap em right back and tell em to *******
get away from the negativity
find those positive vibes
i know i do when i’m with her
feed your soul with the right ****
or you’re just gonna fade away
Enjoy Right Now, Today
For the love of God,
Enjoy Right Now, Today
don’t live in a nostalgia trip of the ‘good ol days’
Enjoy Right Now, Today.
AvengingPoet Aug 2017
No I am not
But I hope I can craft a world of pure positivity around purposeful corners
of each turning page of my perhaps pointless life.

It seems as though computerized cynics control the contentious world
contemplating ways to make us all feel the same
situations in which we attack each other and blame

Instead of all of this I am fixing the car once again
again asking what am I doing
don’t know if I’m doing anything at all
and that’s okay now

My blood is still flowing and my breathing still intact
Instincts and intuition still alive and my emotional intelligence is blooming
but I’m on the up&up
on my constant wave of peace and love

Not trying to hurt anyone
Just trying to get by
but I’m not much of anything
and that’s okay
and that’s okay.

At the very least I know I’m on the up&up
flying high
always flying high

blood still flowing
close my mind for awhile
and realize I’m still here
And that’s what matters

up&up.
Jul 2017 · 286
I'm out of breath
AvengingPoet Jul 2017
My head in the clouds
Can’t focus one bit
Better that way I think
Too much to think would be the death of me
Maybe I’m just lonely as ****
Freaking out when I’m away from your green eyes
Easy come, easy go, that can’t be so
Situations falling apart seemingly can’t breathe better find an inhaler but that **** won’t help

I’m the loneliest man alive
Actually I’m kidding

I need to sleep
Yet I never can
A walking zombie
At least the sky is blue
My mind feel grey
Wish I could be the greatest man alive
But instead I feel worse than worthless
Maybe I’m kidding but it’s hard to tell more than ever
Not sure where I am
The fleeting 20s where I have no idea what the **** I’m doing
Stuck, floating, flowing through college
Wondering why I’m here
Wish I could follow my intuition but maybe I don’t got a talent
Instead I’m looking for cold comfort I think

But my 20s have been lone-
Maybe they haven’t
Take me back to last summer
Living with the only person I even like
Now the distance is cutting me in half

What if I mess up and lose it
What if I lose the only person I even like
What if I’m broke even after I graduate
What If these questions mean nothing
What if I die tomorrow
Car crash blip blop boom ******* dead
But I’m still here

Maybe I’ll never be what I was trying to be
But I better not lose this person
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back to last summer
Walking zombie I ain’t doing fine

I’m out of breath.
Jul 2017 · 258
I Bloom
AvengingPoet Jul 2017
I hope I can bloom
I feel myself fading frequently
For real wonderin whether I got any purpose left
Leaning on a wall another wallflower

Sometimes…
I bloom
Beaming and gleaming
Glowing and flowing
Failing and ******* up ten times a day
**** I don’t live in reality
Really does it even matter
My eyelids, don’t wanna wake up

Gonna look both ways this time

Going to school
Wondering if I should have listened to that intuition
Individuality feels faded and feels like I’m failing
Comfort is conformity or am I blooming?
Beating myself up?

I hope I can see you again soon
Seems like it feels like it was forever
**** maybe it was
Well I guess I’ll never know

As long as I bloom
Baby, I’m breathing
Maybe that’s all I got

And that’s alright for now.
AvengingPoet Jul 2017
My fears feel quaint and strange these days
I remember a time when my head was filled with dreams
Yet my creativity has gone done the gutter
Losing it like a rush of blood to the head

And yet I’m far away from the one I love
A distinct summer that is warm and humid
Yet in reality is cold and bitter
Again, a rush of blood to the head

I’m not sure if I have my eyes on the prize anymore
I wanted to make it so big
Those dreams have faded away into the dust only at 21
I find myself craving different tastes

I want to find myself in comfort, want to get by
Have a kid or two or three
Make some money
Teach in the long hallways
Simply live a life with my wife

Yet I remember the years of high school
Thinking I could be better than everyone else
Maybe not be another family in the suburbs
Yet all the sudden I want that
The thing I supposedly wasn’t crazy about

Is this a bad thing?
Or simply replacing another thing with another thing?

Or did my old dreams ever want a chance of seeing the light of day?
Maybe they did not

All I’m asking for is one more light
My questions may be answered then

For now I tend to a garden
where I cater to my simple hopes I hold onto in this day and age

Everything else faded away years ago.
AvengingPoet Jul 2017
I don’t wanna waste my time
If you can’t be by my side

Stare into those green eyes
Feel like my breath ain’t gone

My heart goes ba boom boom
Silly and childlike as ****

Feels like medicine
Don’t give a **** about anyone else

Only person who I can even trust
You got the cure

Spending days without
Questions what the **** I live for

Not much at all
Finally purpose is given that’s for sure

Life feels ******* meaningless most of the time
Not sure what I’m living for

But stare into those green eyes
There’s something there I think

There’s something there I thin-
May 2017 · 189
An Optimistic Sentiment
AvengingPoet May 2017
Just trying to offer another optimistic sentiment
All the kids saying the world is falling apart
But they fail to realize they’ve got it better than ever before
Access to limitless knowledge in the palms of the ******* hands
You’ve just gotta believe in your purpose

It’s time to take off your kid gloves
21, lost as ****, not particularly expecting very much
The lessons taught in school simply aren’t enough
A world of pure indifference
Says the cynical child

And so I am here to offer another optimistic sentiment
The crime rate is down
And you’ve got a chance to thrive
I promise this lesson is true
You’ve got a chance

It’s time to take off your kid gloves
Can’t pay off my student loans
Simply expecting to fail right at the start
A world of sinister evil
Says the cynical child

And so I am here to offer another optimist sentiment
Although my sentiments may be absurd
I promise I can offer you something:

There’s nothing that the road cannot heal,
There’s nothing that the road cannot heal,
The sun will not burn out anytime soon,
You have your guiding breath to keep it going,
And with time, you’ll believe in that purpose,

…Says the sanguine child.
AvengingPoet May 2017
Telling me to save every cent
Well that ain’t too fun
I’ll be dead soon enough if that’s all I cared about
Besides

With what is left we’ll have to live.

The walk I took
Down to the end of campus
It felt ***** and empty
Like I could suddenly collapse

With what is left we’ll have to live.

And yet I didn’t
I took a breath
I lived
My brain was ramblin’ on and on.

With what is left we’ll have to live.

My earbuds were blasting music
Conor Oberst, Chance, Logic
They give me hundreds of ways to get through the day
But so do you.

With what is left we’ll have to live.

And that is the mantra
Another big idea filled with words that seemingly collapse together
And when I collapse
I know I’ll have done it right
I won’t regret too much
Because I stuck around where I was supposed to
And what else was I supposed to do, huh?

Save every cent I suppose?

With what is left we’ll have to live.
Money, Parents, Conor Oberst, Chance the Rapper, Logic, Anxiety,
May 2017 · 240
Quaint and Cheap at First
AvengingPoet May 2017
The only question that ever matters
Is when I’ll see your face again

Spending some time on this roadtrip
Before it’s time for us to part for awhile
So I must write another travelin’ song

Stopping in Iowa to see a different side
Spent too much time on the East Coast
Can’t breathe anymore

The air feels clean inside my lungs
Staying at a hotel in West Des Moines
Bringing the suitcase in

Eat a pizza and have a laugh
Moments I’ll probably cherish
Even if I fail to realize it right now
My own ******* ignorance

And so we visit the little local shops
Yarn, antiques, and coffee
It feels like home yet I’ve never been here
But what does that say about home?

Home used to feel right
But the past two years that has simply changed
I’ve grown up and realized some flaws
It was quaint and simple, but I see something beyond my previous scope.

The coffee is crisp and clean as it goes down

And now we’re in downtown Des Moines
Visiting the history museum
With exhibits that are unexpectedly huge
I cannot complain

You run out of spoons inside at the 2nd floor
And that is okay
You let me go on ahead as you sit down
I enjoy myself but wish you simply didn’t have to suffer

You didn’t ask for this.

And so I’m with my zebra
When we visit the Capitol building
And buy a souvenir or two
And then we find the second floor…

Architecture that is utterly beautiful
The senate and house chambers
Something that feels utterly Americana
But in the best of ways

And so you may be reading this
The small things are what I’m forced to live through
Thinking they are quaint and cheap at first, maybe,
But then I realize

It’s all I ******* got.
Iowa, Road Trip, Capitol, Des Moines, Relationship, Love, Quaint, Cheap, Small Things, Zebra, EDS, Coffee, Pizza
May 2017 · 153
Ruminations
AvengingPoet May 2017
I have a cup
Don't struggle too much
Eating breakfast this morning
Headed to Cleveland

Small town horrors
Wondering where I am
Mind and the brain
Aren't quite the same
I want out of this place

Dead all around
With her alone in the car
Wondering when we'll make love
again

Another bad dream
Don't really know why
He stole the car and the my computer
Wish I could lose track of time

Don't need this
Too much to handle life again

I spilled the coffee grounds

Not much left to go on
Back again with some ruminations
I got some time left, I suppose.
Ruminations, Conor Oberst, Cleveland, Existential, Dreams, Coffee, Love, Relationship
Jan 2016 · 933
i've got to face it
AvengingPoet Jan 2016
i’ve got so many questions
yet you expect me to answer them all
in a moment’s notice

but i’ve got to face it
they won’t be satisfied
and i’ll have to catch my own breath

it’s up to me to do what i’ve got to do
i want to be known
through love and respect

nearly every day, weak and beaten down
that is how i am
hiding behind the mask of another day

that is not to say that i feel worthless
my optimism is here to guide me…
and somedays…i wonder if faith will…

i’ve got to destroy my friend,
the one who seems to care about what others think,
that Demon In The Nighttime, that is what I like to call him.

2 in the morning
contemplating questions when i should be sleeping
but that’s okay, it’s another piece to my endless puzzle

i’ve got her
the one i know has my back
to help curb my anxiety from exploding

my fears..
my anxiety..
**** em’.

gotta **** em’
gotta **** that Demon
he isn’t gonna get a ****** thing.

another morning
day has begun
sun is shining on the ground

i won’t be asking what will i do today
i will be asking what can i change today
change to reduce that Demon.
Nov 2015 · 1.1k
My Favorite Headache
AvengingPoet Nov 2015
im scared of my own image
another day another day
thousand mistakes thousand mistakes

i hurt you again
without even realizing it
and for that im sorry

but i cant apologize anymore
all i can do is shout and scream and plea and cry
whats that good for

nothing much.

but anyhow
i was hoping the love we had
would last forever (can it?)

i certainly hope so
but i went right the **** ahead
and said no through actions

work with me
help me find my wings
i need to fly

but the problem is

i need someone to fly besides
birds fly in a flock
flying solo is some *******

co-pilots are a thing too

but anyways
let’s back off on the **** metaphors
because they aren't very great

i like you
and you like me
i think so anyways

you're a good old fashioned girl
with the aura of long time sunshine (that’s a reference)
and if i lost you

well wouldn't that just be ******* stupid

frankly
i have no idea what the **** this so-called poem is
a plea
a bargain
begging?
I've done enough of that
no more excuses

let’s just try

okay?

im getting help
and i need it

I am my own favorite headache.
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