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Jan 28 · 431
Anxiety Attack
The desk in front of me has eyes.
The chair I’m sitting in has eyes.
The lights above my head have eyes.
The walls around me have eyes.
The bricks in the walls have eyes.
The windows in the walls have eyes.
The trees through the windows have eyes.
The leaves on the trees have eyes.
The road next to the trees has eyes.
The lines on the road have eyes.
The cars on the road have eyes.
The wheels on the cars have eyes.
The people all around me have eyes.
The eyes have eyes.
And those eyes also have eyes.
My eyes have eyes.
My skin has eyes.
My fingers have eyes.
My hair has eyes.
My clothes have eyes.
And every single one of them
Is staring at me.
And every single one of them
Wants me dead.
Everything wants me dead.
Everything is devouring me.
Don’t pay any mind to the kid having an anxiety attack in the middle of class.
Jan 27 · 155
Last everything
I may not be your
First date.
I may not be your
First hug.
I may not be your
First hand to hold.
I may not be your
First kiss.
I may not be your
First set of eyes to stare into
I may not be your
First person to call up at midnight.
I may not be your
First shoulder to cry on.
I may not even be your
First choice.
But I want to be your
Last everything.
The world stops for a moment when I touch her, and suddenly everything is okay again.
The kerosine she
Left behind on my lips was
Something of a dream.
Jan 23 · 145
Nobody cares
About the kid in the twenty one pilots sweatshirt
Cause they think he's like Stacy's mom
But there ain't nothing going on.
Not after the the verbal attacks,
The nagasaki bombings of his social life.
And honestly he kind of
Wants to
Off himself right now.
But he can't say that aloud.
No that's not allowed.
It's not allowed
To hold your own opinions,
And say how you feel.
But what you know to be true
I guess is never really real.
At least according
To the people who care about you.
And the slow-motion train wreck
That he called a friendship
Is now just a sinking ship.
And it looks like he's going down.
But his hoodie's warm
So he'll be okay in the ice
Jan 8 · 275
Worry about my future.
Worry about my past.
Worry about what’s up.
But why would anyone be down
To get down with
A crazy guy like me?

Worry about my actions.
Worry about my reactions
Worry about how she sees me
And if it takes a toll
On her comforting me.
Or if I say I love her too much.

Worry if I worry too much
Worry if I don’t worry enough
Worry that she’ll hate me
Because frankly...
I already hate myself.

Worry if I’ll have friends
Worry if I’m all alone
Worry about the phrase
“Alone forever”
Cause forever ago
I wasn’t so anxious.

Worry how I’ll live
Worry how I’ll die
Worry if I’ll **** myself
Because I’ve already
Almost tried.

Worry about the eyes
Because I swear
They’re there at night
They’re there
“There there”
She says but I
Just wanna do something
For her.
For once.
Hands on hands
Bodies on bodies
Oxytocin blood rush.
Heart rushing.
Face gushing.
Stomach fluttering.
Lips stuttering before
Hers meet mine.
And then it all just...
Feels okay again.

The radio static in my head
Was like comfort food to me
But I’ve lost my appetite recently
Because I just
Can’t stop

And with how much
I think about the future,
I should be psychic by now.
But all my foresights
Involved her.
And though “it”
May never happen.
God she makes me feel good
And happy
In this moment.

And in this moment
Our hands are shaking
Lips are quivering
And birds are too busy beeing
Ethereal beings.
And if all goes well
I hope the bees
Don’t turn to wasps
And take half of everything.
That way I won’t be like him.
To: J
From: ***
Dec 2018 · 150
Ode to haikus (haiku)
Austin Mizelle Dec 2018
In all honesty,
Seventeen syllables just
Can’t show all my love.
For her
Austin Mizelle Dec 2018
My relationship
With her will be like that of
The night sky and stars.
For her
Dec 2018 · 156
Ode to Eye Contact
Austin Mizelle Dec 2018
Blue eyes wandering
Meet with brown eyes
Talking up tempests and
Blue eyes stops and stares.
Because wow brown eyes
You got it going on girl.
Brown eyes stares back and...
Brown eyes walks over to blue eyes,
The tempest twists
Twisting to a twister
A twister twisting the tempest
Into a beautiful hurricane.
And at the eye,
Of the hurricane I mean,
Are their eyes.
The blue one
And the brown one
Eclipsing one another
Taking in each other.
And blink...
They were gone.
Whisked away on a blowing breeze
The sky their tap shoes.
The clouds their slippers
And the breezes their clothings.
Soon blowing breezes turned to hugs
And hugs turned to handholds
And handholds turned to kisses
And kisses turned to...
And it all started
With blue meeting brown.
Austin Mizelle Nov 2018
November 29th
AKA The Day Before the World Ends.
Cause we’re going down
Like pilots at Pearl Harbor.
Maybe it’s cause of the sky opening up
And no it’s not the rapture.
Not yet anyways.
Our gas ceiling is shrinking
And our footprints are growing.
Pretty soon we may be
Like stars in the night sky
We’ll irradiate our radiation.
While satellites rotate around us.
Or are they soon to be space junk?

November 29th
AKA The Last Minutes Till Midnight.
Not that we have many left anyways.
Pretty soon we might get those questions
“Father, what was Nagasaki?”
“A joke, my son. It’s a joke.”
We could just... ****,
Gone in a cloud of fungal spores.
Not a trace of anything left.
All that would be left would be the
Like lightning bolts in the sky
We’ll strike and set fires.
The embers floating around us,
Or are they the last fireflies?

November 30th
AKA The Day the Horseman Rode Again.
The White one first
With his crown of gold.
Next, the red one.
With his goblet of blood.
Third, the black one.
With his weighing scales.
Fourth, the pale one.
With his bone-white clique.
Yet they can’t do anything, we’re
Death, is unstoppable, yes.
But only against what holds life’s kiss.
And inside... we’re cold.
I’ve been working on this one for a bit. I plan on doing another in the future, possibly multiple times if I have things to get out.
Nov 2018 · 399
What She Means to Me
Austin Mizelle Nov 2018
She means everything.
My theory of everything to me,
Yet Stephen Hawkins
Wouldn’t have been able to explain
How ******* beautiful her eyes are.
Those two gemstones in her face.
Those two sapphires lighting my world,
Cause I’ve been to some dark places,
And I know she’ll bring me back
If and when I venture off again.
And god I know it’s cheesy.
Saying “She means everything to me.”
But she is.
My only sunshine who makes me happy
Even when I don’t even want to be.
Even when sky’s are grey.
And no one else will know, dear.
How much I love you that is.
So no one take my sunshine away.
Her hand in mine gives me something.
Something to care about.
Something that I can hope for.
Hope that I will grow up
To be someone who cares about someone.
Cause that’s what it’s all about.
I found someone who can make me happier then anyone on this earth. And I feel so warm.
Aug 2018 · 346
Austin Mizelle Aug 2018
It feels like my head
Just swallowed me whole.
And I’m falling to pieces
In a room full of gold.
Jagged knife teeth
Cut through my head.
Megaphones blast in my ears
Screaming nonsense.
Until I’m frothing on the ground.
Cold on the inside,
Bleeding on the surface.

It feels like my arms
Are strangling me.
Raised off a balcony
Before plummeting off.
Descending through the ground
But my body still above.
My spirit is below,
Finally free.
But my body lays cold,
Bleeding out,

It feels like my world
Has crumbled around me.
But everyone floats,
Finally free.
But me I fall,
Down into the nothing.
Where I plummet forever.
But at least I’m not cold...
Or bleeding...
Or dead...
Aug 2018 · 126
Austin Mizelle Aug 2018
I’m so cold inside.
So empty are my innards,
As my head overflows with screams.
The crazy quotes of demons
Branding my temples with anxiety.
Battered hands locking my lips
And making a key from my teeth.
Razorheaded monsters watching me
With their judging gazes.
But I’m fine I swear.
I’m not sad, I’m just... empty. So, so empty.
Jul 2018 · 109
Ice Cold Love
Austin Mizelle Jul 2018
Ice cold love
Is love without passion.
Love is that warmth
The warmth that melts the snow
Around our hearts.
Being lonely?
It’s like being caught in a blizzard
But everywhere else is so warm.
Sometimes though...
Love is being cold with someone else.
Because someone you love
Is so vulnerable
But you’re vulnerable with them.
Jun 2018 · 128
Truths Lie
Austin Mizelle Jun 2018
Truths lie
Behind the bonfire eye
Burning up the sky.
But birds want to fly.
Fly away into the sky,
Straight into that bonfire eye.
Birds want to die.

Oh how the birds cry,
Yet their faces are still dry.
The birds’ friends all fly
Calling back to say good bye.
But the bird won't reply,
Instead he'll weep and cry.
The bird wants to die.
Mayhaps the birds will meet again one day, then they'll stop crying
May 2018 · 349
Sapphires for Eyes
Austin Mizelle May 2018
Sapphire eyes across the room,
Two oceans etched inside the moon.
Twin skylines descended to human form,
But behind lies two heavy storms.
Typhoons of ideal, perfect things,
Susanoo’s double diamond rings.
Perfect inside, perfect out.
But always, always, always doubt.
Apr 2018 · 211
18 years
Austin Mizelle Apr 2018
18 years have come
And taken all our Halos.
But we’re still holy.
2 years left until my halo goes away.
Apr 2018 · 499
Let's Imagine
Austin Mizelle Apr 2018
Let's imagine, you and I
Imagine a different reality.
One where everyone can fly
And our limits are our own mortality.

Where climbing up trees when you're 30
Didn't land you in mental hospitals.
And adults weren't afraid to get *****
And say, "Hey, I like the purple Skittles!"

But of course that future will never sing
Its song of blissful dread.
As long as capital gain is king
And society kills our head.

But still we can imagine,
A world of our wildest dreams.
"Just don't mistake dreams for passion."
At least that's what they told the regimes.
It makes me really sad when I see adults who don't know when they can be themselves. Society's poisonous grasp is strangling so many people.
Mar 2018 · 244
Sleeping Pills
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
All these sleeping pills
And yet my thoughts still won't sleep.
Guess that means I'm nuts.
People today have over-used the word "crazy." Almost to the point where it's lost all meaning.
Mar 2018 · 183
Shadow Mirror
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
Don't fear your shadow.
Your shadow is a reflection
Of all that you are.
Makes it even more crazy to think that people are afraid of their shadows.
Mar 2018 · 194
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
In times like today
Maybe God should rapture man;
Showing sin's true face.
Everyone has some sort of sin to hide, I know I do.
Mar 2018 · 161
Terminal Cancer
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
I'm sorry sir, but
It seems that our future has
Terminal Cancer.
We're spiraling towards a future that nobody will like.
Mar 2018 · 279
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
When the world doesn’t
See you, you see everything
The world doesn’t see.
Everyone in the world just wants to be seen.
Mar 2018 · 224
The eyes that listen
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
The eyes that listen
See more of the world than the
Ones that shout blindly.
Have you ever wondered how it would sound if everybody in the world stopped talking all at the same time?
Mar 2018 · 123
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
The cuts on my arm
Like tally marks counting up
The days I have lived.
Mar 2018 · 373
Austin Mizelle Mar 2018
Where do the souls of
Trees go when they disappear?
Do they make a sound?
Feb 2018 · 111
Austin Mizelle Feb 2018
All children reach
An age where they end
Their childish splendor.

They stab it,
Shoot it even.
They **** it dead.

But some
The seldom few
Let their spirits blossom.

Cherry blossom hearts
Chrysanthemum minds
And rose bloomed souls.

Flower crowns upon their heads
They run through the jungles
Of life, marriage, and parenthood.

So these seldom few
The seldom few
Who didn’t ****** their past.

These seldom few
They hide in plain sight.
Hidden away from the eyes of time.

They hide in the skin of adulthood
But underneath they’re different
Underneath lies a lovely garden.
Don’t let the garden of your childhood die out.
Not completely.
Feb 2018 · 261
A poem
Austin Mizelle Feb 2018
This is a poem
A poem with words!
Words that give meaning
To such meaningless verbs.

And meaningless verbs
Make meaningful lines.
Ones that give light to problems
In such purposeful times.

Problems like racism
Like famine and war.
Problems people cover up
And try to ignore.

But if we all wrote
A poem like this.
Maybe they’d listen
To all of our bliss.
For all who read this, maybe if we all yell loud enough, the world will hear our pleas for help.
Feb 2018 · 375
Austin Mizelle Feb 2018
In all their enlightened obliviousness
Are blind to so much.
I envy them.

I envy the child
The childish
And yet people call me childish
I’m childish-ish if you ask me.

Cause I don’t want to grow up
Not completely.
I don’t wanna take myself
Too seriously.

I guess I’ll just be me.
Strange talking
I as a 16 year old observe that adults today are too serious. It’s okay to be yourself even when others are looking.
Feb 2018 · 116
Austin Mizelle Feb 2018
Welcome to the internet,
Where 1000 eyes
Watch your every move.
Commenting on you,
What you like,
How you dress,
While under the protection
Of anonymity.

Welcome to the internet,
Where everybody knows everything
But everything is still wrong.
Where anybody can be anybody
But still be a nobody
In real life.
Where everybody
Is apparently better than you.

And welcome to the internet
Where all the losers go.
Cause you can be anybody
On the internet.
You just have to paint yourself
The right colors.
But behind the screens
We all just ****.
These days kids are all raised by what they see and who they meet online. They internet raises people more than parents ever can.
Feb 2018 · 381
Austin Mizelle Feb 2018
One day I’ll grow up
And have a firm strangle hold
On my state of mind.
But that day isn’t today
Feb 2018 · 257
Austin Mizelle Feb 2018
I want all the people
Of this great world
Too look through
The glass ***** behind my eyes
And the glass panels
In front of them.
So that they can see what I see.

Because guess what?
The devils all got in;
Let me tell you my thoughts
They were like warriors
But then I stopped thinking enough
And **** they were decommissioned
Now the devils control my head.

“Stay up late”
“Yell at them”
“Do the wrong thing.”
“Be everything they don’t want you to be.”
But I just had a epiphany.
One that will shake the foundations
And rock the floorboards.

I should stop worrying
About what I can’t control.
And start trying to fix
What I can
It boggles the mind
That it took me 16 years
To realize it
The 16 years of chaos have ended, now I have to fix myself in just 2.
Bring. It. On.
Jan 2018 · 254
Austin Mizelle Jan 2018
Who would ever pick me,
Scrawny limbs, shirt untucked.
Can’t get a girl for his life me.
Who would ever pick
Someone like me
To stand with them
And get hit with dodgeballs
On every part of our bodies.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, but one day all my thinkings will be enough.
Jan 2018 · 409
Austin Mizelle Jan 2018
Time is the best thief,
Stealing youthful innocence
By the time we’re 12.
Jan 2018 · 414
Austin Mizelle Jan 2018
Kids sit in math classes
All worrying in a forgetful dream.
Thoughts like “Pythagoras Theroem”
Or “*****-Intercept Form”
Race through their minds.
But all I want to know is,
How the heck are we
Gonna get the poison out of the sky?
Because when I grow up,
Get married
And have kids.
I don’t want those kids
To grow up thinking
One day our sky
Might fall down to earth.
To be quite honest, I’m afraid of what the future might hold.
Dec 2017 · 361
Austin Mizelle Dec 2017
A broken boy
With a broken soul
Meets a girl
Equally beautiful
And equally broken.

The boy said,
“Let us share our broken souls,
So that we might fix our shattered hearts.”
Some called them crazy
They called it love
We’re all just pieces in a never ending jigsaw puzzle.
Dec 2017 · 400
Level Up!
Austin Mizelle Dec 2017
You’ve wasted enough time just
To raise a number!
And this is coming from a guy who plays World of Warcraft
Dec 2017 · 237
Austin Mizelle Dec 2017
The beast in my head
Won’t cover his lips, he speaks
Through my lips instead.

So I chained him up,
To my cerebral cortex.
With my own two hands.

But don’t let him out,
He will find a new body
To torment all night.
I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry I always mess up
Nov 2017 · 160
Austin Mizelle Nov 2017
They described her as
Popular. But she wanted
To be her real self.
Don’t be fake
Nov 2017 · 432
“I’m fine”
Austin Mizelle Nov 2017
“I’m fine,”
That’s what she said.
For a while people believed her.
She laughed,
She smiled,
She was happy.

“I’m okay”
That’s what she said.
People still believed her
She didn’t laugh anymore,
But she still smiled
And was still happy

“Don’t worry”
That’s what she said.
People all believed her.
Despite that she never smiled,
Never laughed,
Everyone still thought she was happy.

“Dearly beloved...”
That’s what he said.
Nobody believed it.
Now she’ll never laugh
She’ll never smile,
And everyone knows she wasn’t happy.
Sometimes words change
Nov 2017 · 230
Austin Mizelle Nov 2017
“Lovely” he called her.
By “Lovely” he meant large *******.
He’ll lose his “Lovely.”
That’s not what lovely means
Nov 2017 · 245
5,913 Days ago
Austin Mizelle Nov 2017
A great flying devil
With wings made of steel
Tore through the universe
And ripped through the sky like a knife.

The cold Autumn air
Turned hotter than the sun
Burning skin to tar
And bones to the asphalt below

The gaping maws of glass
Caught the soot filled air
As the world screamed
And the universe fell around them.

A shockwave cracked
Every cloud in the sky
And sent heaven itself
Down to the realms below

Pieces of the Devil
Rained down, jagged and hatefilled
Leaving bullet holes
As a reminder to all.

And this was in the name
Of the most righteous of gods.
A great flying devil
With wings made of steel
5,913 days ago, the devil stretched its wings for the first and last time. He forever carved his mark into the world’s history
Sep 2017 · 220
A Poem by a Poem
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
Hello, I’m a poem.
People make me
For many reasons.

Some do it for fun
Or to pass the time
During a slow day.

Others do it
To achieve enlightenment
(Like my cousin, haiku)

Some poems have a meaning
Some are only ever
Understood by the poet.

Do I have a meaning?
Perhaps I do
But you’ll never know.
Sep 2017 · 155
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
Wings of black
Cut through blue
Their cries echo on the wind
And carry death’s message:
“Fear what comes from above”
Sep 2017 · 213
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
Corpses rain from the sky
And paint the ground
With their luster

Red, yellow, orange;
The new colors of rot
Bathe the earth

Months pass
And their corpses
Dissolve into nothing
Sep 2017 · 351
The life of a seed
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
A seed is planted
On the earth.
Watered with care
And touched with life.

A seed grows
Into a sapling
Watered by god,
And touched with hope.

Now a seed grows
Into a teenager
A teenage tree
Imagine that

Finally a seed grows
Into a man
And that man wrote poetry
And had ideas

Like maybe we're all just trees
In a never ending forest
Or were all just fish
In a sea of faces

But that doesn't make us the same
For there are many kinds of fish
And there are many kinds of trees
I mainly write haiku so this is was more difficult for me to do.
Sep 2017 · 212
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
A hand made of dreams
Covers my mouth with duct tape
Guess I'll keep dreaming
Dream on
Sep 2017 · 199
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
I encased my soul
In a prison made of steel
Forged inside my heart
If you bottle your feelings, you're infected
Sep 2017 · 239
USB chord
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
I sit at my desk
And with a USB chord
Upload my feelings
I spend too much time on the internet
Sep 2017 · 241
Austin Mizelle Sep 2017
Sometimes when I'm in
A staircase I feel that I
Don't even exist
My stairs mean something to me
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