I need you with me always or else never at all, for the leaving is too much to bear. There is only a single fixed point in this chaotic sea that is my soul, and that is love; a suffocating, drowning obsession with that which is near, near but not yet arrived.
     The death of me has vast brown eyes and a laugh that tastes like flight, and his smile is made of sun. I cannot breathe when he is away, nor when he presses his lips against my skin; I am breathless to the point of death, and it is as heavy as the whole of time condensed into the span of a few seconds.
     I want this suffocation or else nothing at all; this terminal lack of air or else the void of darkness that surely exists in death if a love like ours cannot endure.
     Hold my hand all the days of my life, or else never touch me again. I cannot bear this in between.

You've been dealt a hand,
as has everyone else.
Large numbers, nines and tens,
yet not a single king or queen.
Alas the winner before you is the Ace of Hearts,
your Holy Grail.

the worst feeling
is when you want to cry
but can't
and you are left feeling
vacant
emotionless
and broken

Will the spell she casts
In time be broken?
And the pain that lingers
Be the token
Of a soul once whole
Left torn and broken?
All hopes placed on the morrow
And that time will heal
Such pain and sorrow
As of now and forever be
Nightly dreams bestow on me
Visions of my Stephanie

Some nights I shade
my eyes
from dark dreams
like a broken hawk's wing
stuck in the hot tar
of a back country road
when sleep seems
like a long ways to go
in a bad war
and desire and desire
and desire like a fire
in my bones
won't leave me alone.