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She looked at me and said sometimes
I knew for sure what sometimes meant
It meant I look at you but not too often
It meant I ask myself every time I felt conquered
It meant you are one of the thoughts I shove away when im lying in bed
It meant sometimes I get scared
Because  sometimes you are also in my head
And you are in mine for quite sometime
And it’s getting a bit unfair
And I didn’t become a Libra just to let you step in my lair
For you to obliterate
And leave it like that

Haven’t you heard, that you should leave a place in a state of what it was when you first set foot in it?
So, plant some flowers in my chest
And let's pretend you never left
because hope is hope no matter how improbable.
My body is covered with tattoos

I made them with thoughts, ones I created with memories, ones that are considered permanent but bit by bit I manage to take them off. Ones that changed colors by the season I'm in. My body is covered with tattoos as well as scars. I managed to let go of the ones that wanted to take off, and ones that infected my being. Healing wasn't a pleasant place. I tell myself enough, but I couldnt help myself. ''Maybe this time, this one won't have to go.'' But I seal my scars with another one, and another, and another, and another, until my skin screamed, until my skin felt nothing.

I got bruises for not feeling

I am supposed to be happy. There are many reasons to be. But I guess I can never be satisfied and id still want more, even though I do not entirely know what I want. My heart feels so empty, that I hear the sound of my own heartbeat in the hollowness of its chambers. I grasp for air everytime because I feel my throat closing in. I'd get stomachaches and would want to ***** out everything that I am. Because I hate everything that I am, was, and became. Serenity is played in shows, movies and music, in people at the streets, walking alone but not feeling lonely, in colors, in everything that I can only watch but never touch and never become.

Imagine me having a heartbreak every single day I see you.

You walked past me looking at my eyes but never in too deep. My feelings are buried deep down, where I can't even dig. You are the love I never intend to have and the love I have always wanted. You took me to a whole new reality but left me there. I was screaming your name everytime my heart and body start to shake. You caused me all this pain but you were always innocent. I mistook your glances for longing, I was the one longing.

We take words and make it as romantic as it sounds

We put love in every bit of context or in some cases we force out love to take part of our whole being. That's how we live, survive and die. We write songs about the sky or the moon or the sun and make it seem like they are infatuated with the clouds. We make the wind sound like the humming of a broken hearted lover waiting to be salvaged by the knight. There was always a knight, who comes and saves us. Take us out of the black and white world we created for ourselves. We make this up for our loses. For our victories. For the ones that broke us. For the ones that mold us back. For ourselves.
I'll just leave this here. Thanks
 Jan 2018 AtMidCode
Dhaara T
Cow dung
She hung
Between her legs

Dry leaves
She'd weave
Into disposable wear

Even second hand sanitization
Was considered better condition
So she ducked into the safety of unknown risks

Absorb, if it could
Wear it she would
No space for concerns, no choice

On one hand they say
Empowered today, we women, stay
On the other, stands she, in rural patches of ignorance
It's sad to know that even today, as what not happens in the name of "feminism", there are still women in my country who cannot even afford sanitary napkins, let alone clothes. As a result, many rural women use substitutes, but it's heartbreaking to see the extent they would bend to, only because they cannot afford anything more.

Yet, I feel just as proud as I am angered by the story of such people (vs the wasteful lives of the 'haves'...a gap that huge is unfair!) -
proud because of people like Anshu Gupta (founder of Goonj, a not-for-profit organisation), who, along with his team is working towards changing this scenario with the distribution of biodegradable and affordable sanitary napkins, amongst other commendable initiatives.

This is not a collaboration or anything of that sort, neither am I associated with them in any way (other than supporting their causes), I am genuinely touched by their efforts and naturally, feel like spreading the word about their work. It would be great if you too could have a look at their website (, and if you're convinced, monetarily or non-monetarily, support their cause?
over two billion people
these days are waiting to commemorate
the birth of one whom they consider
humankind‘s savior

it happened more than 2000 years ago

since then it has not really been established
from what he has saved us

looking at our history
does not help much either

maybe this is a good thing
such indeterminacy can be quite uplifting

after all
who does not like to be saved?
 Nov 2017 AtMidCode
Fox Friend
If I asked you to close your eyes and picture everyone you loved, how long would it take for you to spot yourself?

I've not been able to find myself yet.
 Nov 2017 AtMidCode
The only part of my day
That I look forward to
Is when I go to bed
And lay there making up scenarios
In my head.

I think of comebacks
To 8th grade bullies.
I think of witty retorts
To my mother's snide comments.
I think of intelligent things to add
To conversations I had months ago.

I think of all the things
I was too scared to say.

And in my mind
I say them.
And pretend how things would be different
If only I had the courage to speak.
Just tell me
if heaven closed its doors
when no one on earth
has seen you cry

Just tell me
if you can't get back home
when the fields you ran into
have never been a refuge in a storm

Just tell me
if everything you see now is dire and bleak,
and you felt your loneliest
when you entered the amusement parks alone

Just tell me
if even the world's greatest jokes
Can no longer penetrate
the humor that you think you've lost
but I know it's still there

Just tell me
if sugar doesn't taste sweet to you anymore
and instead,
you find your enemies' laughter a good meal
and for every day

Tell me,
just tell me if you're used to all of this
and even if you don't
I know it all

For when the heavens poured down rain,
the droplets that touched my skin
told me you're not okay
I knocked into your door
and I heard those fights —
telling me that this isn't your home
I walked my way to your favorite amusement park,
took your favorite ride
and later on, I've seen a post online
telling me about that newest amusement park to try
I wanted to text you right away about it,
and I just don't know why all of a sudden
I anticipated for the next jokes you're about to crack

And even if sugar loses its sweetness
your smiles won't ever lose theirs —
that even if I haven't seen them for quite a while now
I know that they will always find their way back,
the way you used to light this world
with your own little steps
that formed a pathway
of hope and colors of the Promise

I know you'll always find your way back to that Promise
and if you could just tell me,
Tell me —
but even if you don't,
I know it all
for you are my friend,
you are a friend.

Just tell me,
and I will listen.

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