I didn't choose it
I didn't wake up one day and tell myself
let's be anxious
let's be depressed
let's want to die
let's become an alcoholic
I didn't choose to be like this
slowly my problems
they started small
having a shot or two
shaking for a while in school
but I fell
I didn't choose to be this person.
We just get handed who we are.
I didn't choose this.
I never wanted to be that
I didn't want to be riddled with anxiety and insecurities,
to wallow in self-pity and sleep for hours everyday
to sneak vodka in water bottles
to take shots in the middle of the night
to steal razors
to eat one-hundred calories and then barf it back up
but that's what happened.
I didn't choose this
I didn't choose
I didn't choose to tear apart my life.
I'm really good right now but in a reflective state currently oof