I forgot
To try
So easy to hide
Behind a vail
Such beautiful shadows
I carry every moment
Which were never mine
The steps
I never took
Have made me tired

I dipped my feet
In fire
I felt the burn
Reach up
I felt it rattle
My knees
Turn down
To bow
To fear
I feel
The rain
Above
I tell myself
I’ll drown
I lay my head low
I wait
The heal
Rain on fire
Feeding
Desire
Feeling growth
I feel the rain
And reach
I reach for air
And wait
Till the fire
Becomes smoke
Till the rain
Hits hard enough
Until I am
awoke
I shed this heavy
Cloak
Dangling around me
under me
I climb
Above hell
I climb until I see
That I am not
Afraid
I climb until I see
That I am free
I reach for me

I reach for me

I wait for after
For new
I wait for me
Or you
Walking through
The turns
Confuse
And rearrange
What matters
In a moment
Redirect
Finding
Reaching
Carry me
The light is there
Beneath
Dried leaves

I reached for hope
My hands were empty
Palms untouched
I wish to feel
To push against

I thought
I would feel warm
The way you feel
The ocean
Sitting on the sand

I reached
All the same
Only to find
The hope I sought to catch
Was rattling
My rib cage

Behind a smile
A cry waits
Behind a sun
The moon is rising
Behind lies
The truth is pounding
Stagnant dreams
Are bounding under
Something better
Something new
Something deeper
Tired lines are racing
Up and down
But moving
Realization
I am still
Here
And boundless
I will walk a crooked line
Through
Slow but focused
On a warmer view

I wear these clothes
Size upon size
Too small
Retreating to then
I push life away
I stay tearing out
Through
Refuse
To acclaim this life
Wishing for yesterday
I stay afraid
When will I choose
To breathe
Today’s consequence
When will I choose
To grow

I placed a rose
In domed glass
I called it mine
I smiled
In the dim
Of the shallow light
I let in

I willed this rose
Stay beautiful
For me
I watched it wilt
When it dried
The petals
Lay beside
Stem left
Splintered
Thorns dull
With disdain
I blamed the rose

I plucked another
Replacing my shame
I thought

Till it happened again

I feel movement
Underneath
A push
Without a cause
I feel movement
Underneath
A pull away
A fear
A loss
I feel movement
Within myself
A stretch
A quake
A  rise
I feel movement
My fingers
Shake
Dismissal
Roots to rise
I feel movement
In heavy tracks
In frequency
So low
I feel movement
In hallowed cracks
Bellowing
Yes
to no
I feel movement
In insecure
In dodging a connect
I feel movement
In stagnant frames
Slipping
Filling
Unsure cracks
I feel movement
Placing one foot down
On ground
Never withstood
I feel movement
Of hope
Of should
Of could
Of hope
Of could
I feel movement
While standing scared
While standing scared and
Still
I feel movement
Of could
Of would
I feel movement
Of will
And I will
I’m sure
I will

I wondered
If I let this go
In the wind
Would it catch
You?
Or maybe
Catch
My closure
I found solace
In brilliance
And make believe
    
So instead I left
My heart
In this coffee shop
Where we laughed
And we felt
Undaunted
Hands intertwined
Hearts racing

I left my heart
In a coffee shop
In hopes
That you might see
That you might
Be seeking

It’s hard to catch the wind
But maybe waiting
Still
Grounded
I can latch
To the bottom
Of your shoe
And hold on
Just a little longer

Or maybe
I leave you
In this coffee shop
I leave all
Happy moments
Here
And all the rest
The wind can have

And I can
Walk away
Smiling
I can walk away
Free
I can finally
Be free

-L

Falling
I was falling fast
I danced mid air
On my way down
I laughed
I dove
Into this deep
I didn’t fall
I chose to leap
And where to go
My ground
Knows
And where to land
I’ll know
And where I’ll grow
I’ll grow
And letting go
Will let me
Go
And growing up
Will spring
As springing turns
To fly
I’ll say goodbye
To staying low
The wind
Will carry me
I was
Always
The wind
I was
I am always
Free

The glass reflects
This void
Of what
Of when
Of destitution
Behind reflection
There is hope
I am still
Looking
Finding
I am trying

And as i walk away
I feel content

This is enough
To feel beautiful

My soul is jolted
Up and down
Without control
without a ground
I find it easy to give in
To take away
To take within
To let the monster
Rattle strong
To let the monster
Sing my song
To let the monster
Take control
To let the monster
Have my soul
I feel control
Within
This heat
I am the mess
I am the sin
Where to begin
When buried down
The scale is broken
Underground
There is a scale
My soul is laying
monster jumps
A dancing sting
Just across
Causes imbalance
A taunting rattle
Weary tin
A tear that wears
It washes through
A leaping mass
So fast
So thin
It seems transparent
Looking through
It seems too hard
To find you
Please know that
I still love you
Please know
I’m looking for you