so much of me is "if only"

Weak. I feel weak

They went to school, They went to work.
I sit here alone waiting till they get home I get a text saying
"Your and idiot!! Go **** yourself."
I thought of how i already get bullied enough,
I can't take it. I get the chair and rope I hid in my closet,
I hang the rope from the ceiling fan, and make a video.
I am saying how horrible my life is and that I am just a waste of flesh,
I get up on the chair and put the rope around my neck,
I lip sync "Goodbye." as a kick the chair out from under me.
I died instantly.

I'm not sure if we each have a destiny or  if we are just all floating around accidental like a breeze.

apology accepted,
trust denied.