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Apr 2020 · 258
Hey Life
Ant Apr 2020
Hey Life
as wonderful as you are
I’ve kept my heart guarded for so long
Hoping my negative experiences are nothing but a lucid dream.
I have a cousin who says that there’s nothing wrong with therapy, but I say ain’t nothing wrong with music and me.
Hey Life
I’m starting to realize that maybe my first Love and I wasn’t meant to be, but what do I know.
If what we had was truly love we will come back together because that is destiny.
Hey Life
it’s me again
The Lone wolf I see myself to be.
It’s in the wolf nature to want a pack
That way he never lack because they got his back.
With a good team it’s easier to achieve your dreams.
Hey Life
it’s me I send you a message so hear me aloud.
There are days I wish to see what my future holds.
I have a soul that feels alone, but I am strong
I grab my stuff and walk this road because I sojourn on earth alone.
Mar 2020 · 195
In my mind
Ant Mar 2020
There are some things contemplating on my mind flowing like a wave on the rise.
Lost souls roam edra
Cursed with darkness
It’s itching on my mind
The sun has risen; there is goodness in the sky
Positive energy flowing through life.
Flowing like a wave the rhythmic flow that you are
Bring forth destruction, but also rebirth... I’m rejoiced.
It’s a time where certain things can see
vast with billions of lifeless forms
The hopes seen by the souls on erda.
Let me think one more time
I sit I see as beautiful as can be
Mother Nature you are helping me.
As I wither away
And go back to my place
Where i will never be seen
Dec 2019 · 171
I Am
Ant Dec 2019
I Am prideful because I am ashamed of the the things that I lacked growing up.
I am ashamed that I struggled to live up to my potential.
I Am
I allow very little people close to me
So I love hard and when I have hurt them it hurts me to my core.
I want to be a better me
I Am
I trust no one
I had adults let me down growing up
I had people close to me not have my back the way I had there’s
Why do I let these thing weight me down??
I am
I didn’t try hard in school
Never thought I was smart enough When I got to the white schools
And I just kept ******* up in school at the black ones.
I Am
I have light that I can’t grab onto
I want help
I Am ashamed... so I won’t ask and call it pride I make myself laugh
Iroh-“ pride is not the opposite to shame but its sorce, true humility is the only antidote for shame”
Nov 2019 · 438
My Illusion
Ant Nov 2019
I am in a Illusion
Floating in and out
I drift into my heart and see who I really love
Brothers, mom, Sister can’t lie that special ex that brought me out of darkness came to mind.
Man I love that girl to death.
But then swiftly the pain of the world creeped upon me.
Showing me all that I have lost.
Do I wanna live when the pain out weights the love that I have in my heart.
I let go hoping this is the end of the road.
I always believed in my heart I wanted to die like a soldier.  
Pain in my body turn to pleasure.
My soul drifts away... I think I see the flames of hell.
Oh **** I guess it may exist...  hmph!!
I did what I did, so Imma face it like a man.
I’m incorporeal
I keep moving seeing the flow that’s traveling me back in time.
My childhood quick glimpse... I took a dip.
Dinosaur
Tyrannosaurus
Styracosaurus
Megalodon
I can see thee
Traveling this flow on the rhythm of time.
I travel to a time where nothing existed.
Only the earth
Am I in a grave
My heart cold I am alone
Are we microbes
Traveling this flow on the rhythm of time.
I’m in space its a natural mystic vibe
The stars Flow by me next the sun
I’m a drift “ oh **** its a black pit ”
I enter the pit
I’m being crushed
Gravity is crushing me
It’s
It’s all around me.
I can’t escape... I let go
As it crush me from my feet to my dome.
This is the end I’m 23
It was fun while it lasted
I’m dead I’m gone
The young man who lost his love.
Gave up in the mind, and his heart cried.
I started to long this ending.
I’m numb to pain i wanna love
I can see the light again.
I am an illusion floating in and out
Traveling this flow on the rhythm of time
I wake up nevermind I’m alive
The lone wolf has risen
Oct 2018 · 411
Balance
Ant Oct 2018
Some people look at you and think you done been through some ****
Because they the ones who had it super easy
The ones who had to live that life
You green
So you really don’t know all of the game
You live yo life not knowing who really there for you
Ain’t something you chose to sweat
Your pride big
so in reality you don’t like to ask anyone for ****
You want a girl but not knowing if you really wanna trust her and ****
So you sit back and relax
And just don’t sweat the ****
You try to find a smart hustle
Because your body is tired of it
But you push it just to make it
Life is what you make it, hustle for your money and hope you make it
That’s what you think when yo dose of reality has hit
So what you going to do
Stand up or lay down?
You chose!!
Sep 2018 · 2.4k
Shadow
Ant Sep 2018
I have a light in the background,While being surrounded by darkness
I take a look in the mirror
I see a shadow of me
Asking myself what was it those people seen in me to make them believe in me.
Where’s that potential??
I try my best to hold on to my dreams just to keep me sane
sometimes I do want to say **** it.
But remember what you trained your mind set to be.
A warrior
Yeah you fell relying on nothing but your instinct.
A lone wolf
This is the real world
You got to pick yourself up and try again.
But this time make sure it doesn’t happen again
Never allow yourself to fall to where you are relying  on nothing but instinct. Because all that is insecurities.
Sep 2018 · 1.1k
Tru Love
Ant Sep 2018
As a young child I wanted a right hand.
one to ride with my vibe.
a person I don’t mind to see me cry.
i want a love so strong that it is a sin to the world eyes.
i laugh you laugh...shhhhh!!! I can be corny at times.
when one cries we are there to uplift, because love won’t let the inner die.
you Guernica
i Pablo Picasso
you humbling shinning by my side
tru love is what i’m looking for :)

feel this............i bathe you in a fruit bath
to wash away  the world stressful sin.
i dry you off then rub you down with warm oil hmph !!
let the magic begin :)
then we make love like the world is going to end.
just to wake up to see the sunrise again
that was a young child
who became a man
still wanting that right hand
Tru Love Is What I’m looking For :)

as my old skool soul wraps around your heart.
the piano sound dances with the wind
because it has found the thing it’s been looking for.
if i said it once i will say it again
tru love is what i’m looking for :)
Sep 2018 · 115
Donor
Ant Sep 2018
My name
What is it???
You know what it is cause I’m named after you
I hated my name all because of you.
People calling me by my whole name not knowing it drove me insane
I look in the mirror
I bet you know who I see
For a long time I felt lost because of you
All I wanted was for you to be in my life, but I guess you weren’t real enough for that I see
I cry thinking you didn’t love me or didn’t want to be around me.
Pain!
I’m tired of it!!!!

How many birthdays have you missed??
Going to this white school hearing kids talk about there dads while I’m in my head like **** mines.
I remember people calling me a demon child and saying I ain’t going to be ****
It hurt... bet you didn’t know that
Pain!!!
I’m tired of it!!!!!!!!!

You think I’m going to let you do my siblings the way you did me!!
I will get my one with you before I let slide
I never realized most of pain comes from you but that got to subside.
I low key was a copy of you
Still low key wanted to be like you
It hurt me when my first love told me I was just like you and she didn’t know you
Got me thinking I was a copy of you
Pain!!!!!!!!
I’m tired of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You chose the streets over me and my mom.
Hell no you can’t have her back!!!
Yeah I said that!!
I used to think my mom didn’t like me because of you
Telling me I act just like you
What you know about that???
This man had the nerve to tell me he around me more then my dad I swear I’m still mad at that.
I didn’t want him around to be exact
Pain!!!
Leave me!!!!!!!

I would call asking to chill
But you say you ain’t got money to spend
Cool!!!
Lie again!!!
But some how you got money for them cars you ride in.
I’m your child we could have gone to the park to chill
My sister is mad on the inside
You can figure out why
As I make This I sit here and cry.
One day I will probably be a father and I know exact who not to be like.
I know now I’m strong on the inside
Pain!!!!!
Begone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 2018 · 2.4k
The Ex
Ant Sep 2018
The way we started off isn’t a way I’m proud of.
I did you wrong I know this
You got me back
Now that I understand
But you took it further then that
Why is what I’m saying?

I know about you going on snap to tell my dog that... bet you didn’t  know that
Don’t ever say I’m fake to my ****** cuz I always had they back
I gave you a shoulder to cry on do you remember that
You would punch me and I wasn’t going for that... so hell yeah I hit you back
Them nights you slept next to me :( I felt alone and you was right there near me.
I talked my **** I told you that and you know you did the same too.
I could have told people your embarrassing ways, but me and you both know I wouldn’t want to hurt yo pride like that.
I was in a bad place but I stood by you looking embarrassed still trying to see the light in you.

Shhhhh!
At one point I really wanted to **** you I’m glad I didn’t do that.
It used to hurt me on the inside hearing people you call your homeboys and best friends talk **** about you.
But I can say I was that one dumb person who would’ve still stood by your side
My older brother telling me to stop messing with you and I ignored that.
**** it
I’m done with this poem it’s giving me flashbacks
So I’m going to go get a smoothie from Smoothie King and reminisce on being a class clown when I was a child
lol
Sep 2018 · 866
Feel my vibe
Ant Sep 2018
There are times that I wanna cry
But the tears won’t form in my eyes
So I smoke cuz I wanna vibe
Time goes by while I’m sitting on cloud 9
The pain in my heart doesn’t show in my eyes

But I’m a new me
I like writing poetry instead of smoking all the time
That’s my new vibe :)
Sep 2018 · 1.1k
ME
Ant Sep 2018
ME
What
        is
          it
            that
                  I
                   see?
What is it?
this feeling..........
The
      feeling
                  of
                     tranquillity
                                        surrounds
                                                         me
Between you and me I am becoming free
This
       is
         what
                  it
                      is
                        to
                            be
                                ME :)
Sep 2018 · 2.2k
Hurricane AK
Ant Sep 2018
Roses are red violets are blue is what I first wrote.
But the hurricane tore it all to shreds.
It stared with the rain that brought upon my pain.
It hurted my heart to hear the cry
How can I ever be trusted when I lied and lied
Lost in my mind...
The heart just wanted to love again.
Hoping to find what was lost just to fall again.
A priceless jewel was K.
I became coated in insecurities.
Running from the rain is what started the hurricane.
I remember the shooting star when I first encounter the rain.
It was different that night, but that was when AK began.
Reparation is what I sought.
Only hoping to heal.
Don’t ever disrespect the Queen of K!
Forgive but don’t forget.
It was called Hurricane AK.
That’s what I said
I’ve learned not to take the ones I have for granted

— The End —