She said,
I’ll stop smoking when I’m dead.
I fear all that beauty
went to her head.

She grew up in a small town
In Massachusetts
Always dreamed of the city
And how she would live there.

Those tall buildings
Lights so pretty
They danced above us
You were always good
At making your dreams come true

You said over a cigarette
You know your running away
But you don't know what else to do
I don’t want to keep
Standing here still with you.

If Gods so good
Why is he so good
At ripping your heart
Right out of you?

I started speaking
To my father
He’s been gone too long now
Looking for answers.

Those tall buildings
Lights so pretty
I could taste the liquor on you
You were always good
At making your dreams come true

I took the 161 to the city
The lights they look so pretty
I just wandered around
It ain’t the same without you around

The tide is getting high on the east coast
I feel like I’m drowning
I started drinking more
Somethings can’t be ignored

I heard your living out In Brooklyn
I’m still living here in town
They tore down the old mall
It’s like it was never there

I’d **** to smoke some cigarette
And drink some Jack and cokes
Guess I’ll have to do it by myself
Your to busy dancing under the lights
With someone else

Those tall buildings
Lights so pretty
They danced above us
You were always good
At making your dreams come true

I miss you most
In a crowded room
I miss the way
Everyone would stare at you

They all wanted to have you
But you were mine
I didn’t know what I had
Till you weren’t mine

Anymore, anymore
It’s a shame
And so sad
To have loved and to not have

Anything to show for it
Your a star
And I didn’t even get your
******* autograph

And I see
From my phone screen
That your married now
At least your dream came true

You dodged a bullet
But the chamber wasn’t loaded
And I got bad aim
And I always wanna pull it

I miss you most
In a crowded room
I hate you most
When I think of you

Im your biggest fan
Your a star
And I didn’t even get your
******* autograph

Someone told me
it’s the ones you look up to
That will disappoint you the most.
I thought what a ****** mindset
That’s why my hero is myself.
Driving home at the first light
The sunlight washes off the night
And with it all my bad decisions
There’s an Elton John song playing low
Someone said where do we go?
And I laughed and said home.
And they said
We are home.
And that stayed with me for
Every single sunrise
And it came to be
A tradition to remember
And night I wish I could forget
There’s an Elton John song playing low
As my arm hangs from the window
And I’m comforted by the fact
That I’m nobody’s hero.

There’s a calm I appreciate
The kinds that comes with peace
The kind you don’t get
Not unless your in that place
That void
The great moment of clarity
Where you find yourself alone
Laying back, relaxing
maybe listening to music
And your staring straight ahead
All your worries in the world
They go blank
Nonexistent
And you’re sitting there
Staring out into space
And you smile
Because you know
Your alright
You exist
You live to fight another day
And you kinda just melt
Into a pool of clarity
Peace of mind
True calm

What was I to you?
A broken toy
You don’t play with anymore
A sad joke
You don’t tell to anyone
You keep me in the dark
A secret,
not even good enough to be told
I hate you
I hate this
But you say you don’t mean it
You won’t do it anymore
But in a week
Your back to being you
You act like your to famous
For me now
But your a nobody just like me
And I can see through all
The bad acting
You like a storm that picked me up
And tore apart my little life
And left me there to pick up all the pieces
A title wave that swept away my soul
And all my love
But you can keep it
I don’t want it anymore
Your a storm
You bring the clouds with you
They hang over head
It’s a dread
It’s so evil
Just like you

When your near and I stare into your eyes
I wonder
What do you carry with you?
Are these burdens heavy?
Do they weigh you down?
Is that why you feel like an anchor
Stuck in this small town?
You write cute poems in a notebook
Carry it everywhere
Say no one understands you
Do you understand yourself?
I wonder what you carry
And if it’s holding you back
This life is heavy sometimes
You wear it on your back
You said your mother used to hit you
Your father was checked out
And from a young age you were angry
Played the devils hand at every chance.
And you acted like a devil
But said when true evil crossed your path
You felt pity instead of fear
You said you could feel
the baggage on their back.
And I wonder what you carry with you
Does your load haunt your soul
Is the burden heavy
Does it drag you into the undertow?

Been dancing by yourself
In the dark
For too long.
Always in a bad space
Head is filled with
Too much sad.
But every now and then
You smile
But you take it back
Like it was a bad word
And you are a child.
I’ve watched you stare
Out into stars
Waiting for someone
To pull you down.
Like your stuck in this world
In a giant waiting room
To be picked
But you just
Sit and wait.
And it’s eating you alive
But your bones are strong you say,
They’re not gunna get you
Not like this.
They had you on suicide watch
Behind glass like an animal
Pacing back and forth
But this ain’t a zoo
It’s your life.
So you keep dancing in the dark
All alone
Like a star of your own show
It’s easy when you know,
This is as good as it gets.