We were dreamers once
Conquerors of sand castles
And explores of blacktops
Captains of our own imagination
Inhabitants of a world not ours
Stumbling from each experience
To find ourselves lost
Belonging nowhere
and everywhere at once
We were the future
and now we are the past
Clenching to briefcases and money
Cars and Mortgage payments
Workplace Training videos
Love and Death
We were dreamers but we just dream now
Of better times
Old battles from the war on youth
Mistakes never forgiven
But never forgotten
Tilted back gazing into the void
Wondering where the child in you goes

My sister she’s been crying
Sad she’s a single mother
My nephews father he’s not gone
He’s just not around
And I guess she’s just sad
she had to move back to this small town  

What I wouldn’t give
To take her pain away
Take it out back and shoot it
Or light it on fire
And watch it burn up in flames

Either way there’d be a victim
There’s no winners in this game
Love is not for quitters
But we play anyway
Be nice if there were warnings
The bad guys always win
And the good guys always get away

She started smoking cigarettes again
I asked her for a smoke
We ended up talking for hrs
We laughed at how Life's a joke
She asked me if it ever gets better
I said I’ll let you know when I find out

I Said don't hold your breath
Just be happy with the time you get
What’s meant to be will be
And some other inspiring ****
I told her what I thought I’d like to hear

We’re all just living on this earth
Wondering how it will end
Waiting for our time to go
How lucky will the last ones be
To actually be the ones to know

I don’t like to dream
Because I might dream of you
And when I wake
It’s like losing you all over again

The walls come closing in
And the sound becomes so small
Slow motion sets in
And I’m not there anymore

Took a pill to fall asleep
Like giving candy to a baby
Washed it down with my favorite *****
It burns so good

Sleep in till noon
And when I wake
Just lay there thinking of you
They say your mind will betray you

My town is a mile long
Feels like a prison most of the time
There’s a sign that sits at the edge of town
It reads please come back again

And we always do
What were told to do
It gets old real fast
When you outgrow your past

Slow motion shuts off
And it all comes rushing back
And I'm back in the same old routine
Still dreading falling asleep

I feel like I’m an old man
Hunched over with a half smoked cigarette
clutched between my fingers
eyes straight ahead watching reruns of I love Lucy on Tv land at 10:30 on a Tuesday
Then I have an outer body experience
Im floating above my body looking down at this shell of a person
Who is this person I see?
Is it me?
Absolutely frightening
An Alcohol and pity filled sack
“Hey cut him some slack,”
I say to myself
“You don’t know what he’s been through.”
but I do cause it’s me
and it’s sad
cause it’s real
So at least there’s some beauty there

Never made the football team
Because I didn’t try out
I wasn’t entitled to be mean
Doomed to be skinny and lanky
I made friends with the loner crowd
no cheerleader ****** and trophy’s galore
I ponder the decisions that led me to hear
Maybe if I tried out I’d be hosting the Oscars this year
Never got my varsity Jacket
Settled for one in the lost and found
Turns out the kid it belonged to ran away
Found out years later he died from an overdose
Now I’m pushing clocks and throwing back beers with the guys

On December 20th 2010 my father didn’t wake up. They said it was from a mix of medications he swallowed in the night. I envisioned a child eating candy in the dark hoping their mother wouldn’t find out. This was different. He was taking pain medication from an accident he endured years before and died alone. He had woken up every day prior in pain, and yet he stumbled out into the cruel world, and did his job to make his little money, and carried on with life. That morning when he didn’t wake up my sister found him. The alarm had gone off, and off, and off but he did not wake. She found him all alone. She’ll  carry that until the day she doesn’t wake up.