one last door that will let me in,
one more place but still, i’m uncertain -
that room, it looks so stifling.

i just looked in, but no one could see me anyway.

one last dream that i’ll watch begin,
one more dream beyond my comprehension
so it ends, but i never saw the ending.

so i just look again, but no one could look at me.

tremors so troubling,
once more, and debilitating
with a promise that stays.

cold thoughts shadowing my day,
an obsession with such urgency
and a voice too tired to remain.

perhaps my dreams never came.

and so they saw him that day, his body
floating downstream, to where sodden memories lay;
as the currents carried him, years fell like leaves away,
and so they saw him that day, smiling softly.

find me a future in nothing -
i can’t see a thing.
find me something -
it’s such a cold feeling.
please, i feel it coming.

are the clouds really flying somewhere,
was the birdsong never really there?
i could be the only one who hears
in a place of noise, a place where words disappear.
i could be the only one who thinks, who doesn’t surrender;
the only one to see that something isn’t quite right,
that surely i don’t exist here.

when i wake from this, will i still exist
or will i be mistaken in this?
if i am dreaming, will school come again
whenever this ends?
will i wake from this, this nightmarish place
or will i stay suspended with this fabricated memory.

when our world is shattered, when silence finds your call
remember that emptiness was here before.
when i’m out somewhere, when the barriers fall,
find these belongings; take them home once more.