I've filled the hole you left with empty kisses from boys whose lips taste like ash trays and whose bodies aren't yours but fill the space you left in my bed anyway

I've filled it with smoke as I sat on the edge of a bathtub, bowl in hand listening to a stranger talk about how he still calls his dead mother by mistake sometimes

I've filled it with recipes of sleeping pills swallowed down with cough syrup and ***** and chased with a flat Diet Coke I might've opened last week

The you shaped hole in my chest just gets bigger

I could hear my name being called above the noise
I went and sat with my anxiety
Over by the exit, just in case
We took shots for every possible negative outcome that could arise from this evening's outing

Before I could collect my thoughts, see how I was feeling
I was led over to the corner
Where my depression was sitting all alone under a table
We took shots for every reason no one would miss us when we're gone

Once the alcohol soaked in, they became silent
And it's funny to me to think that the only reason I drink with them
Is simply because it's the only time I can pretend they aren't there

I love when it's cold outside
And you can't tell where the cigarette smoke ends
And your breath begins

We're all so ******* toxic

Jail cell walls made of messages in bottles sent to people who would never see the words therein
Love has always felt like a prison sentence