With you, I didn't cry much over
But with you, I felt the most pain
You didn't hurt me, at least not intentionally
Though it hurts more than I can explain
You fell in love and pursued her
I felt my heart break again
Because she fell for you too so it shattered
I was unable to restrain
No one knew of my feelings
I couldn't put them on display
I tried to give up by avoiding you
In hopes this love would go away
How many times I've failed
Because you kept enticing me to play
This friendly game between friends
When I know you wouldn't look my way
Your eyes made me weak
I had to look at them everyday
They reminded me why I fell for you
I felt a connection I couldn't contain
How we are when it's just us
I wondered if you felt the same
Your actions and words, I misinterpreted
But I know you are not to blame
No matter what, I have control
My heart is my responsibility to tame
I use to see home like a prison
A place that chained down my soul
Times have changed, I have progressed
Here, I realized I have the most control
I use to see my room as a place
Where I was trapped within 4 walls
But now it is a sanctuary, a refuge
A place where I'm almost free from it all
I wanted to get to know the world and its people
And I still haven't seen it all
Though now I see my home as somewhere
A place I can heal every time I fall
I don't allow myself to feel
The emotions I have for him
So my feelings for him stay
And continue to fester from within
The more I love
The more I deny
The more I see him
I continue to lie
Because the truth weighs so heavily
That it would burden us both
So I keep it all inside of me
Where he can never hold
It's hard for me to ask for advice
Because you don't live in my head
You can only advise from what you hear
To the extent of what I said
So how can I expect an answer
When you don't fully understand
The question that I'm asking you
Is more difficult to comprehend
I don't blame if you don't know
Because you really don't
Though I don't know either
To ask a second time, I won't
How often it is to fall in love
With someone who hurts you
It's easy to say, just leave them
It will hurt less I assure you
They say nice guys finish last
And girls fall for bad boys
What happens when you fall in love
With someone you couldn't avoid?
When friendship is what led you
To a love that runs too deep
Enough to confuse your heart
And give you the inability to sleep
When you fall for the nice guy
Don't misinterpret his words
He won't lie or mistreat you
And that is why it hurts
His kind actions will displease you
His kind words will give you hope
His kindness is what you love and hate
He makes it harder for you to cope
When he breaks your heart with hugs
When he stabs it with kind gestures
When you cannot leave or it will hurt him
And the last thing you want, is his discomfort
There comes a point when being with him
Is like a slow suffocating suicide
A reverse abusive relationship
One too difficult to leave behind
When you fall out of love for me
I hope to remain
A lingering presence
In the pages of your life
I hope to be reserved
As a chapter in your memories
Even if it is one
You'll always skim by
Or one you may never read again
I hope you'll reminisce
Your time with me
Even when you forget who I am
Because I'll never forget
How you held my hand each night
And took me wherever you went
When you fall out of love for me
And maybe find someone new
In the end, my heart is content
And I'll always be here for you
Her hair, the colour of the sky
When the sun says goodbye
That falls like sheer silk
And flows so easily
Like dandelion seeds
Her eyes, so round and curious
Filled with the absence of vice
That crinkle oh so shyly
How could she be so blind
I yearn to clean her mirrors
Her glasses and perception
How could she not see
How she keeps my attention
Her childlike qualities
That keep her youthfulness bright
Her smile, her laugh, her empathy
The way she falls sometimes
I fell for her, and still falling
The more I get to know her
The more I know, The more I love
And for that I couldn't be more sure
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